Obese Arachnid
Diplomatic Immunity
- Jan 11, 2008
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Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
& so am I
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
& so am I
Jokes: The Good, The Bad and The Really Bad
- Thread starter Anzacday
- Start date
- Tagged users None
Oh no OA
The thread title is "jokes the good the bad and the ugly"
Not "jokes the good the absolute putrid and the ugly"
I gave it a like simply because it was soooooo bad
I was on a flight recently and the lady next to me started breast feeding her baby.
The flight attendant soon came over and said "what the hell are you doing"
I guess I should have waited till later before I started masturbating
The flight attendant soon came over and said "what the hell are you doing"
I guess I should have waited till later before I started masturbating
PTpie
Team Captain
Driving to work the other day I misjudged braking and ran up the back of the car in front of me at the lights. We both pulled to the side and hopped out of our cars to exchange details when I noticed the other driver was a dwarf.
Before I could say anything he barks out "I'm not happy mate" so I replied "well which one are you then?"
Before I could say anything he barks out "I'm not happy mate" so I replied "well which one are you then?"
neilk
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My wife shows me no respect at all. She likes to talk to me while having sex!!!!
Last night she called me from Sydney...
Last night she called me from Sydney...
- Feb 20, 2013
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My brother had to get a second job as a baker, he kneads the dough...
A lady goes to see the doctor. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!"
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An old nun, a cute Swedish girl, an American guy, and a Frenchman are all in a train car. The train goes into a dark tunnel and all 4 hear a slap. When they emerge, no one says a word but the Frenchman has a red hand print across his face.
The nun thinks that the Frenchman groped the Swedish girl, so she slapped him.
The Swedish girl thinks that the Frenchman tried groping her, but groped the nun instead, so the nun slapped him.
The Frenchman thinks the American groped the french girl and she mistakenly slapped him instead.
The American is hoping there will be more tunnels so he can slap the Frenchman again
The nun thinks that the Frenchman groped the Swedish girl, so she slapped him.
The Swedish girl thinks that the Frenchman tried groping her, but groped the nun instead, so the nun slapped him.
The Frenchman thinks the American groped the french girl and she mistakenly slapped him instead.
The American is hoping there will be more tunnels so he can slap the Frenchman again
Last edited:
76woodenspooners
Brownlow Medallist
Oh no OA
The thread title is "jokes the good the bad and the ugly"
Not "jokes the good the absolute putrid and the ugly"
Not any more it ain't ... Thread title changed!
Eddierules
Team Captain
- May 31, 2013
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Eddierules
Team Captain
- May 31, 2013
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Sorry pressed the wrong button . Hear about the two peanuts walking in the park ,one was a salted.
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Obese Arachnid
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I'm glad to see my work here hasn't gone unnoticed.
Magpie Girl
Premium Platinum
I shall be a good sport, given your desire to add a personal touch, but did I have to be farting?Magpie Girl went to see DrDavoren the other day. "I fart all the time, DrDavoren, but they're silent, and have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Magpie Girl . Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a when you're done."
The next week, an upset Magpie Girl marched into DrDavoren's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still silent, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Magpie Girl ," said DrDavoren soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!"
*Hopefully Magpie Girl and DrDavoren don't mind me slipping their names into the joke but I like to put a personal touch on some jokes
Women don't do that
SnakePlisskin
Cancelled
- Mar 3, 2012
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Priest and a Rabbi sitting on a park bench and a young boy stops in front of them and bends over to tie up his shoelaces , the priest says " I'd like to screw him " and the rabbi says " out of what ?".
Haha sorry mate, I just edited them. I didn't mean anything bad by it. That's just how I usually tell jokes, I put a friend who is present in the punch line. For the first few jokes I put on here, I used myself as the observer to give them a personal touch but I probably shouldn't have used anyone else in my next ones.I shall be a good sport, given your desire to add a personal touch, but did I have to be farting?
Women don't do that
I was playing Xbox with my son the other day, he started break dancing, so I flicked on the strobe light and started beat boxing around him.
Turns out he's epileptic...
Turns out he's epileptic...
Magpie Girl
Premium Platinum
What's worse than absolutely putrid and ugly?
some of these jokes
some of these jokes
jjsmitty8
Norm Smith Medallist
A guy walked up to me in a pub and said "I get 20 times more chicks than you mate!".
The joke was on him, I just said "20 times 0 equals 0 ya flog!".
The joke was on him, I just said "20 times 0 equals 0 ya flog!".
jjsmitty8
Norm Smith Medallist
If I had a dollar for every time a girl thought I was unattractive, they'd probably start thinking I was more attractive.
jjsmitty8
Norm Smith Medallist
My mum got angry at me the other day because she reckons I treat her house like a hotel. She's going to be filthy when she sees I gave her a negative review on Trivago.
Magpie Girl
Premium Platinum
did someone give you a 'bad joke' book for Christmas?
What? My jokes are all good. It's the others who are telling the bad jokes.
Here is one just for you MG
I bought some shoes recently from a drug dealer. Not sure what they were laced with but I have been tripping all day.
.
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