Jokes: The Good, The Bad and The Really Bad

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Aug 10, 2015
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30k Posts 10k Posts Collingwood - Tyler Brown Player Sponsor 2020 Collingwood Magpies - Brayden Sier 2019 Player Sponsor Collingwood - Jaidyn Stephenson Player Sponsor 2018 Collingwood Board Goal Kicking Tip Comp Collingwood - Matthew Scharenberg Player Sponsor 2017 Shiny Penny
Aug 10, 2015
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EA7A90AD-0B22-4C5E-9C0E-E86FE46BB1E2.jpeg
 
I'm bored too, so...

The police knocked on my front door at 2 o'clock last night. Fortunately for me I was up anyway playing my drums.

What did the Chef call his firstborn son?
Stu.

To the person who invented zero: thanks for nothing.

My pet frog lost a leg unfortunately.
He was hopping mad.

Is it just me or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?

What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday the rest are week days.
 

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30k Posts 10k Posts Collingwood - Tyler Brown Player Sponsor 2020 Collingwood Magpies - Brayden Sier 2019 Player Sponsor Collingwood - Jaidyn Stephenson Player Sponsor 2018 Collingwood Board Goal Kicking Tip Comp Collingwood - Matthew Scharenberg Player Sponsor 2017 Shiny Penny
Aug 10, 2015
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Did you hear the one about the US President?

Donald Trump.
 

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Aug 10, 2015
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This is very bad so look away.

Azaria is crying in the tent, Michael says to Lindy:
“I wonder what’s eating her?”
 

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30k Posts 10k Posts Collingwood - Tyler Brown Player Sponsor 2020 Collingwood Magpies - Brayden Sier 2019 Player Sponsor Collingwood - Jaidyn Stephenson Player Sponsor 2018 Collingwood Board Goal Kicking Tip Comp Collingwood - Matthew Scharenberg Player Sponsor 2017 Shiny Penny
Aug 10, 2015
48,085
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One of the great joys of life is to wake up and have a cuddle with the person next to you.

Except if you’re in prison.
 

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Aug 10, 2015
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I never leave my wife’s side.
I hate to kiss her goodbye.
 

ThePhantom777

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2014
7,388
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Canberra
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How many Carlton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Brendom Bolton to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
 

jonbe54

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 18, 2009
20,742
17,222
Rural paradise
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My wife was the prettiest girl around before we married and 4 or 5 blokes and I chased her relentlessly until she caught me.

Surely there must have been some way I could have escaped :oops::(
 

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Aug 10, 2015
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I asked the girl of my dreams to marry me.

She refused.

I lived happily ever after.
 

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30k Posts 10k Posts Collingwood - Tyler Brown Player Sponsor 2020 Collingwood Magpies - Brayden Sier 2019 Player Sponsor Collingwood - Jaidyn Stephenson Player Sponsor 2018 Collingwood Board Goal Kicking Tip Comp Collingwood - Matthew Scharenberg Player Sponsor 2017 Shiny Penny
Aug 10, 2015
48,085
39,985
AFL Club
Collingwood

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30k Posts 10k Posts Collingwood - Tyler Brown Player Sponsor 2020 Collingwood Magpies - Brayden Sier 2019 Player Sponsor Collingwood - Jaidyn Stephenson Player Sponsor 2018 Collingwood Board Goal Kicking Tip Comp Collingwood - Matthew Scharenberg Player Sponsor 2017 Shiny Penny
Aug 10, 2015
48,085
39,985
AFL Club
Collingwood
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?

Boobies.
 
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