Jokes: The Good, The Bad and The Really Bad

[Saintly Viewed]

All that while playing cards . He threw his hand in.

And back in the day he dreaded going to see his beloved Magpies at Windy Hill.

 

[Anzacday]

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes, (apparently).

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Some mornings I wake up grumpy.

Other mornings I let her sleep in.

 

[Boris the Contradiction]

You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes.

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

Eek, that's embarrassing!

 

[Anzacday]

Eek, that's embarrassing!

It's ok, double posts happen every now and then.
Good pick up.

PS: Fixed my post though

 

[Kreme Pie]

It's Friday night. Couldn't wait so see my girlfriend for some quality time with her. Got a call from her this afternoon, she said ... "nobody's home, come on over".
When I got there, she was right. Nobody was home, not even her.

 

[Kreme Pie]

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here.

 

[Dynamics]

A family walks into a hotel.

The father goes to the front desk and he says "I hope the pr0n on the TV is disabled."

The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular pr0n, you sick f#ck!"

 

[Chameleon75]

Carlton


That is all

 

[Saintly Viewed]

 

[Cannon Dale]

View attachment 489479

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Owen
Owen who?
O and 6

 

[Maggie5]

I'm bored too, so...

The police knocked on my front door at 2 o'clock last night. Fortunately for me I was up anyway playing my drums.

What did the Chef call his firstborn son?
Stu.

To the person who invented zero: thanks for nothing.

My pet frog lost a leg unfortunately.
He was hopping mad.

Is it just me or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?

What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday the rest are week days.

 

[Mkcaptain]

A joke for all us Collingwood supporters.

The dentist asked me today the last time I flossed. I replied "come on, you were there."

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Did you hear the one about the US President?

Donald Trump.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

This is very bad so look away.

Azaria is crying in the tent, Michael says to Lindy:
“I wonder what’s eating her?”

 

[Saintly Viewed]

One of the great joys of life is to wake up and have a cuddle with the person next to you.

Except if you’re in prison.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I never leave my wife’s side.
I hate to kiss her goodbye.

 

[ThePhantom777]

How many Carlton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Brendom Bolton to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.

 

[jonbe54]

Haven't spoken to my wife in fifteen years . . .

She hates being interrupted

 

[hasbean9]

What did they call Winnie the Pooh when he died?
A stiff s**t.

 

[jonbe54]

My wife was the prettiest girl around before we married and 4 or 5 blokes and I chased her relentlessly until she caught me.

Surely there must have been some way I could have escaped

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I asked the girl of my dreams to marry me.

She refused.

I lived happily ever after.

 

[Apex36]

Shane Edwards is All Australian.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Shane Edwards is All Australian.

Can’t beat that

 

[Saintly Viewed]

What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?

Boobies.