Jokes: The Good, The Bad and The Really Bad

[BringouttheGimp]

Why do spiders spin webs?

Cause they can't knit

 

[Mr Pie]

Why does Michael Jackson like 28 year olds?

There's 20 of em.

 

[Mr Pie]

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalog.

 

[BringouttheGimp]

You know you're Greek when 'malaka' replaces people's first name. Ela re malaka

 

[Mr Pie]

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

Wipes his but.

 

[BringouttheGimp]

When the zombie apocalypse happens.. I will be one of many desperately trying to get to Michael Jackson's grave before the epic Thriller dance off.

 

[McOrist]

Q: What's the hottest town in Victoria?
A: Bacchus Marsh ....'cause it's near Melton.

 

[hasbean9]

What do you get when you mix a rooster with a flea?

An itchy utensil

What do you get when you cross an owl with a rooster?
A utensil that stays up all night.

 

[Kreme Pie]

I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day.

 

[Mr Pie]

What's brown and sticky?


















A stick.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

SOS Carlton list manager

 

[PicaBoo]

 

[Mr Pie]

What's the problem when a stationwagon with 2 Carlton supporters drives over a cliff?

We could have fit at least another three or four Carlton supporters in there.

 

[Mr Pie]

What does a Richmond supporter use when having safe sex?

A bus shelter.

 

[Mr Pie]

A St.Kilda supporter gets home one morning just as the garbage truck pulls up.

Garbo 'hey mate where's ya bin'.
Saints fan 'I bin on holidays'.
Garbo 'Na mate, where's ya wheely bin'.
Saints fan 'Ah, I've wheely bin in jail, but don't tell anyone'.

 

[Mr Pie]

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Carlton supporter?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

 

[Mr Pie]

What do you get if you put your hand under a Gypsy's dress.

Your palm red once a month.

 

[Eddierules]

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Carlton supporter?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

Magistrate in family court where do you want to live son with your father ,boy no he beats me well how about your mother ,no she beats me too well where do you want to go l want to go to Carlton they don't beat anybody.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I was hiking once with my girlfriend.

Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.

I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.

It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

My boss told me to have a good day..
so I went home.