Family & Relationships Kids, want them, have them or not interested?

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perthblue

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#27
Your own personal happiness.

If you only exist to have kids and your kids only exist to do the same and so do their kids etc then what is the point of any of this?
Well, biologically speaking, there is no other point. But really, I just feel that having a family is what it's all about, and dedicating yourself to selfish pursuits like self improvement or travel (things that aren't off the table if you have kids btw) then that's not really the key to a happy life.

Some people just arent wired to want kids. Nothing wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with it, of course, I just don't understand it.
 

ioppolo

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#31
I don't for now and probably won't for a long while. I may change my mind, I might not. Women are generally ticking time bombs with their biological clock so I'm worried I'll be getting pressured into it at some point in my 30s if I'm still with my current partner
 

Run n Spread

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#32
Do you have them, and if you do did you always want them or did something change your mind?

Do you want children one day?

or

Are you completely uninterested?
No children. Not in a position to have them and don't want. Would have maybe considered it a few years a go after being no but the older I get the more it is a no for me and reverting back to my original position of hell no

No offence to the OP but dating has become complicated. As I meet women who were happily child free but all of a sudden it is a mad rush to have kids at all cost ( not with me necessarily) but the convo is over b4 it starts. All you can do for something like this is "be yourself," but be aware it will be met with resistance.

As for men. Who knows? Men don't talk about this at depth and nor do they (I) really want to
 

Run n Spread

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#33
Well, biologically speaking, there is no other point. But really, I just feel that having a family is what it's all about, and dedicating yourself to selfish pursuits like self improvement or travel (things that aren't off the table if you have kids btw) then that's not really the key to a happy life.



Nothing wrong with it, of course, I just don't understand it.
This. Yes nothing is off the table but it costs $$$.
And while biologically what you say is correct we are always told we are not animals and need to control our biological impulses and emotions in all other aspects of life so why not this as well? (I'll answer it is because people pick and choose anyway based on their own DNA and do whatever suits then justify) free will is largely a myth
 

Better Loosen Up

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#34
This is something that has always interested me.

I'm 27 and not at all interested in having kids. I've never really thought much about having my own family but I actually don't mind kids. I just find it hard to relate to them now being away from them for so long. People say that I will change my mind but I've never really had any kind of drive to reproduce. I wonder if there have been people in my situation who where adamant they weren't going to have kids and then ended up with them.

So the point of this discussion is;

Do you have them, and if you do did you always want them or did something change your mind?

Do you want children one day?

or

Are you completely uninterested?
Put me down for completely uninterested :thumbsu:

I can relate to your position based on what you've said.

People have suggested to me that i will change my mind if the right situation presents but i know within myself that it won't.
 
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#36
Im young(ish), 32. Have three of em. They make me laugh more than anything i see on the interwebs, and it's cool and fulfilling to watch them grow from like, this absolute potato, giving you nothing at all - into the most funny, interesting and breathtaking creature. The slow you down though - going anywhere is a nightmare, you're limited to things to do on holiday, probably limiting in a borrowing power $ense too.
 

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Mootsy

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#39
No interest whatsoever...
it's weird, I just have no desire at all.

Find it hard enough looking after myself. Feel like a perpetual 25-year-old nerd, even though i'm older.

Don't get me wrong, i have a heap of empathy for others, just don't feel like i'm built for parenting.
 
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Moderator #40
Have them, always wanted them and so far its lived up to my high expectations.

That said, I can appreciate it's not for everyone and those who don't want kids should be allowed to live their life as they choose. Any notion that you're life lacks meaning without them is rubbish. Many parents fall into the trap of their entire self-worth being tied to their children and it's the children who pay the biggest price.

I do find people on either extreme of the debate frustrating, a cult-like adherence to their decision and a constant need to harass and intimidate those who don't agree.
 

HARKER

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#43
I feel like half the people just have kids to be popular/keep someone else happy

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app
Think about it. Are you doing a new entity a favour to bring them to life? Not really. You're just doing it for yourself.

If our planet had a voice, do we really think it would like for what we do to it?
 

mr bagcroft

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#44
Don’t want them. This might sound bad, but I can’t stand little children. They annoy the shit out of me.
I dont mind them, but I couldnt eat a whole one.

45 here and will not be having kids.
Been in a relationship for 25 years to, luckily she couldnt care less either.
You choose, you move on.
 

The_Todd07

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#45
My wife is 22 weeks pregnant with our first and although I have no idea what I'm in for I am bursting with excitement.
Got really lucky with us, her sister in law and one of her best friends all due within 8 weeks of each other. Going to be cool having them all grow up together
 

FreoGirl

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#46
I didn't know how badly I wanted children until I started trying and it became a struggle. It took a heart breaking 5+ years of infertility treatments, and the loss of a baby, to eventually have our son. We really wanted more after him, but it just never happened. He is my world and I am so thankful we have him.
 

TheKanga

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#47
Always wanted them eventually.
Only thing was I didn't expect/plan to be a dad so young.

My partner fell pregnant when she was 19 and I was 20. (Was a surprise)
I turned 21 when our daughter was two months old.

Then in 2015 we had another daughter but more planned.

So now I'm 29 and have an 8 year old and a 3 year old.
Love em to bits and couldn't imagine life without them.

Kinda cool being younger in some ways as when I'm 40 I'll have a 19 and 14 year old.
 

TheKanga

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#48
I don't get why people guilt or care about people choosing to not have kids.

I know this sounds bad but there are enough neglected kids and bad parents in the world.

A lot of people I know are just to selfish to have kids and I'm glad they didn't bring a child into the world.
I don't say that in a mean way it's just some are very self focused.

Just let people make their own mind up and don't guilt them.
 

Great8

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#49
We decided at a young age that we both wanted only 1 child and at a young age. I was 23 and my wife 19 at the time. Our son is turning 21 in a couple of months and although it was tough initially as we weren’t well off, we still managed. I worked 2 jobs and my MIL looked after him whilst we both worked. The best thing is now we are debt free, own our house and don’t have a child to support ( well not quite lol ) so we basically can spend all our time and money travelling.
As fate would have it my wife was unable to have anymore kids by the age of 24 so having him early was the best thing we ever did
 
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wadistance

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#50
My wife is 22 weeks pregnant with our first and although I have no idea what I'm in for I am bursting with excitement.
Got really lucky with us, her sister in law and one of her best friends all due within 8 weeks of each other. Going to be cool having them all grow up together
Happened with my missus, her brother and sister. All have kids within 3 months


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