Family & Relationships Kids, want them, have them or not interested?

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11kgm

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CPA a financial burdon?

$1,200 every six months?
As well as my Uni Debt which is coming out of my income, i am paying for that course for myself not work and all other living expenses

$2400 a year is one less holiday i get to take plus i am not on that much to begin with

It's the equivalent of 2 months wages once i take out my expenses that usually show up
 

00Stinger

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As well as my Uni Debt which is coming out of my income, i am paying for that course for myself not work and all other living expenses

$2400 a year is one less holiday i get to take plus i am not on that much to begin with

It's the equivalent of 2 months wages once i take out my expenses that usually show up
I've done my CPA and paid for it myself, its not that ridiculously priced especially when you can claim at portion of it back at tax time
 

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por_please_ya

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Older thread but read through the comments.

I'm a 31yo woman, in a (long distance) relationship with a 34yo man.
I've never wanted children. I've known this since I was younger, even without properly understanding it. I was always a hopeless romantic, loved the idea of romance and all of that. However whilst I pictured myself getting married, travelling the world, a great career, I never had kids in that vision... ever. The thought of being pregnant and giving birth is SO abhorrent to me. I hate hearing stories of women giving birth, makes me feel sick and anxious. I also never liked being near children, unless it was children of people I knew (a couple of my friends have kids, and my sister does). Always felt awkward holding babies lol. I've never felt that 'maternal instinct'. Never felt the "OMG yes I really want kids!". I do not want the responsibility. If that makes me selfish, so be it. I'd rather regret not having kids, than regret having them! I also think there are too many people in the world, so it's kind of an environmentally conscious decision.

When I first told my boyfriend about it, he said he personally was 'undecided'. He felt he was 'immature' because he hated being around kids lol and wondered if he'd ever grow out of that. He asked me though, "don't you want to leave a legacy?". I told him that's not really a reason to have children. I mentioned a lot of things, how at the very least, it's 18 years of your life you sacrifice. (For some, it's not a sacrifice. The fact I'm saying it's a sacrifice clearly means I have an aversion to the idea :p). A lot of people don't consider that when they have kids. They think they can still go out partying or that their life won't change. I said I wanted to travel a lot, I just didn't picture kids in my future whatsoever. He's still with me 2.5 years later so it mustn't be a dealbreaker haha.

My sister is a few years younger than me and she's been married four years. She has a nearly 3yo girl, and is pregnant again, due in Jan next year. I absolutely ADORE my niece. She's the cutest thing ever! It hasn't made me clucky at all, but maybe made me slightly more tolerant of children in general :p I love watching her grow up and learn new things. I hope she will see me as someone she can confide in as she gets older, the 'cool' Aunty who will take her out to the Zoo for a day and give her red cordial and chocolate :p At least at the end of the day I can give her back to her parents XD

Most people I tell are open-minded, however I've had some boomer ladies at work being absolutely horrified at the idea I didn't want kids... "you'll change your mind" "never say never" "what if you meet the right man" LOL. Sometimes I feel like they say these things because THEY want validation from the life choices they made, and are projecting onto me. Maybe they didn't have much of a choice back then either... it was just the 'done thing'. So they probably feel envious that I have more of a say. It was also weird that my boss, who was quite weird about the fact I didn't want kids, told me that if she could re-do her life again, she wouldn't have had them?! Just really bizarre.

Whoa this comment got out of hand lol. High five if you read all of that....
 

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