Some of my favourite quotes:
Hank Hill: Bobby, if you weren't my son, I'd hug you.
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Boomhauer: Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
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[Working on Hank's pickup truck]
Dale: You know what the problem is? It's a Ford. You know what Ford stands for? Fix It Again Tony.
Hank Hill: Dale, that's a Fiat.
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Bobby Hill: Ooh, laundry. Hot off the dryer.
[Bobby rubs a fresh pair of briefs on his face, pulls them on, takes off his nightshirt and runs out of the room]
Hank Hill: 6 AM and already the boy ain't right.
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Dale: [to Bill] Ignoranus. It means stupid, you moron.
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Hank Hill: Bobby, promise me you won't do drugs. Promise me.
Bobby Hill: I promise.
Hank Hill: Promises mean nothing.
Bobby Hill: Look, dad, I'm not gonna do drugs. I want to be the first chubby comedian to live past 35.
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Hank Hill: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
Kahn: I lived in Arizona for the past 20 years. I'm originally from Laos.
[pause]
Hank Hill: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
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[Bobby saw Luanne naked]
Joseph Gribble: Does she have big boobs?
Bobby Hill: Yeah. This can't be happening. She's my cousin. I have to get that image out of my head.
Joseph Gribble: Put it into my head.
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[Dale is protecting his mower]
Dale Gribble: YOU. Quit screwing around with my mower.
John Redcorn: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Dale Gribble: Oh, it's just you, John Redcorn. Now get in there and heal my wife.
John Redcorn: He's taking all the fun out of this...
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Hank: Dallas? I don't want you goin' to Dallas at all. That place is crawlin' with crack-heads and debutantes, and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
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Cotton Hill: Hey missy! Git me sum samiches!