Media Knifey Spoony: Super-Sub

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Knifey Spoony

Dragons FFC Super-Sub
Dec 21, 2015
2,408
6,379
Crocodile Drunkee's
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Everton, Borussia Dortmund
Average Qooty player Knifey Spoony has today signed a landmark deal with sandwich giants Subway that may well be the first of its kind in the Sweet FA. While the full terms of the agreement appear to remain under wraps, it is understood Spoony will be assuming a seat on the bench , with the former winger to take on a ‘Super-Sub’ role throughout the season. A further condition of the deal for the utensil named player will be to make at least two Subway related references per match thread. In return, Spoony will now receive two stamps on his rewards card upon each visit
Subway 3.jpg

This card will be getting quite the workout

This deal will put him alongside elite company such as Lebron James and Tiger Woods who make a greater income from endorsements than their sporting profession. Being a Spokesperson for Subway is also likely to raise Spoony’s profile, much like Happy Gilmore and redacted redacted (Holy sh*t apparently he is a very bad man). Spoony fronted the media today to discuss the deal

Subway 2 edited.png

Spoony's image will appear in print media

How did this partnership come about?

Well, partly because I am quite unfit, but largely because of the Dragons strong list this season, the bench always beckoned. I have the perfect skill set for the bench, with a posterior that MC Hammer would truthfully be fond of. Seeing an opportunity to benefit from it was a surprise, however with Subway making up about 80% of my diet anyway it just made sense. I also have fond memories of the Sub rule during its time in the inferior AFL league, such as when my mate dropped $100 on Angus Monfries to kick the first goal after he had already donned the green jacket, good times.

Are you just ripping of Headless ?

Pretty much. Headless was a pioneer as the ‘interchange specialist’, and I have admired his work for a very long time. There can also be no doubt that he should be made the All-Sweet FA team last season. I am fortunate to have his blessing to assume this role, and I preemptively apologise if/when I steal his material.

Can I get a footlong?

Yes, and you can also have a sandwich

Subway 1 edit.png

Spoony may replace golfing legend Happy Gilmore in television campaigns


League Legend Headless was also approached for his thoughts on the matter:
I heartily endorse this event or product. Knifey Spoony should make the All-Sweet FA side in Season 30, and I will not rest until that is the case. Please join the #eightmidsmax campaign to ensure no more than eight midfielders/rucks are selected for All-Sweet FA honours. Knifey Spoony is a true asset to the league, and I encourage you all to award Knifey Spoony maximum beez votes. BIG TIME.

As Knifey Spoony prepared to head to the bench, we asked for his final thoughts

Sub edit.png


“Eat Fresh”
 
Aug 25, 2011
11,286
34,852
Perth
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Coney Island Warriors, SFFC, Hajduk
Average Qooty player Knifey Spoony has today signed a landmark deal with sandwich giants Subway that may well be the first of its kind in the Sweet FA. While the full terms of the agreement appear to remain under wraps, it is understood Spoony will be assuming a seat on the bench , with the former winger to take on a ‘Super-Sub’ role throughout the season. A further condition of the deal for the utensil named player will be to make at least two Subway related references per match thread. In return, Spoony will now receive two stamps on his rewards card upon each visit
View attachment 925440
This card will be getting quite the workout

This deal will put him alongside elite company such as Lebron James and Tiger Woods who make a greater income from endorsements than their sporting profession. Being a Spokesperson for Subway is also likely to raise Spoony’s profile, much like Happy Gilmore and redacted redacted (Holy sh*t apparently he is a very bad man). Spoony fronted the media today to discuss the deal

View attachment 925444
Spoony's image will appear in print media

How did this partnership come about?

Well, partly because I am quite unfit, but largely because of the Dragons strong list this season, the bench always beckoned. I have the perfect skill set for the bench, with a posterior that MC Hammer would truthfully be fond of. Seeing an opportunity to benefit from it was a surprise, however with Subway making up about 80% of my diet anyway it just made sense. I also have fond memories of the Sub rule during its time in the inferior AFL league, such as when my mate dropped $100 on Angus Monfries to kick the first goal after he had already donned the green jacket, good times.

Are you just ripping of Headless ?

Pretty much. Headless was a pioneer as the ‘interchange specialist’, and I have admired his work for a very long time. There can also be no doubt that he should be made the All-Sweet FA team last season. I am fortunate to have his blessing to assume this role, and I preemptively apologise if/when I steal his material.

Can I get a footlong?

Yes, and you can also have a sandwich

View attachment 925443
Spoony may replace golfing legend Happy Gilmore in television campaigns


League Legend Headless was also approached for his thoughts on the matter:
I heartily endorse this event or product. Knifey Spoony should make the All-Sweet FA side in Season 30, and I will not rest until that is the case. Please join the #eightmidsmax campaign to ensure no more than eight midfielders/rucks are selected for All-Sweet FA honours. Knifey Spoony is a true asset to the league, and I encourage you all to award Knifey Spoony maximum beez votes. BIG TIME.

As Knifey Spoony prepared to head to the bench, we asked for his final thoughts

View attachment 925470

“Eat Fresh”
jared-fogle-child-sex-scandal-secret-006.jpg
 

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Headless

I am currently making a decaf coffee.
May 27, 2006
18,895
31,857
Australia
AFL Club
Melbourne
Never too late for self improvement. There are some very good pine players around the comp. Most like Knifey Spoony are generous and erudite folk who would be happy to help you out. JT_the_Man is another star and he no doubt would be willing.
Are you trying to say I'm not the best Interchange player in the competition?
 

serial_thrilla

The 2K SFA Player.
Mar 25, 2014
6,190
14,071
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Dragons FFC
Knifey Spoony outstanding in Round 1. Great media. Very strong match thread performer. Should make the All-Sweet FA team at this rate.
He expertly subbed into the ruck for Strigoi early in the game to cost her a ruck bet against Bonz. The classic bench player stitch up.
 

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