Lame Jokes about the AFL

Remove this Banner Ad

A guy finds a lamp and gives it a rub and "NTTAWWT" a magic genie appears.

The Genie looks at the guy and says " I'll grant you one wish"

The guy thinks for a moment and says " I want to live forever"

The genie says " Sorry but I can't grant a wish for living forever"

So the guy says " Ok, I wanna die when St Kilda next win a premiership"

The genie looks at him and says " you crafty bastard".
 
Last edited:
A man went to a brothel and asked the madam... "I'm a bit kinky ... how much for a total humiliation?"

"$100" he was told.

"Ok, what do I get for that?"

"A crows gurnsey and a season ticket!"
 

Log in to remove this ad.

This fanatical Crows fan has attended every Crows game and every Crows training session since the inception of the club, and for some reason it's begun to affect his marriage :).

One night he comes home 3 hours late from a training session, and his not so longsuffering wife is waiting for him. As soon as he opens the door, she lets him have it, "CROWS, CROWS, CROWS. HONESTLY: I THINK YOU LOVE THE CROWS MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!!!!!"

The man replies calmly, "Woman - I love the Power more than I love you."

Divorce proceedings are believed to have commenced.
 
What is the difference between Dean Cox and a traditional pub meal?

One is an Eagle palmer and the other is a chicken parma.
 
A Hawks fan . .

For us Hawks, landing in the gutter has been softened by the plush leather of your boots, waiting there to kick us. #AFLHawksCats
 
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!

The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ..............'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

worbod said:
Three Collingwood supporters where driving a Tarago and drove it off a cliff. The police officer at the bottom of the cliff looked over the wreckage and said, "What a waste: it could seat five people."
Click to expand...
Jordan De Goey walks into a bar.

The barman says "Weren't you in here last night?"
"And the night before that?'
"And the night........
 
A Collingwood supporting woman staggers in to her kitchen to have breakfast with a smoke in her mouth, rollers hanging from her her, bloodshot eyes and wine stains on her dressing gown. Her Collingwood supporting husband of 20 years looks at her and says, "Is there any possibility you could look how you did when we got married?"
The wife replies, "No, I'm not pregnant now."
 
Members of the WA Association of Pessimists are now safe and well. They set out yesterday morning on their annual hike, but somewhere along the way, they took a wrong turn and became lost. While they were waiting to be rescued, they sat in a group and sang the Fremantle club song, to keep themselves miserable.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top