Lame Jokes Part 2

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Generalissimo

Premiership Player
Joined
Jul 14, 2002
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Somewhere
AFL Club
Geelong
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The Mighty Cats
Pastor Schulz is about to check into their hotel and the front desk attendant is telling him about all the available channels. The Pastor interrupts, "Well, I certainly hope the pornography is disabled!"

"No, it's regular porn you sicko!"
 

crowmyzone

Ban the Bum
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May 20, 2001
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Beetaloo
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Adelaide
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Baghdad Bombers
A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?"
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo."
"No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the S H I T
 

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worbod

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Oct 26, 2008
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Bendigo
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Western Bulldogs
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Liverpool
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink. No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema.
 
Joined
Feb 24, 2013
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The GoldenBrown Heart of Victoria
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Hawthorn
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Man Utd Green Bay Melb Storm
There are three men on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

That was so corny it was good.
 
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