Lame Jokes Part 2

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Milkshaker

Club Legend
Nov 6, 2014
1,651
3,376
24 Barrack Street
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Grandpa takes his grandson little Johnny fishing in a local pond after school one day. After 20 minutes of fishing, Grandpa fires up a cigar. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Grandpa asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your assh*le?" Little Johnny says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and Grandpa opens a beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your assh*le?" Little Johnny says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer." Another 20 minutes passes, and little Johnny opens a bag of potato chips. Grandpa asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" Little Johnny asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your assh*le?" Grandpa says, "It sure can." Little Johnny says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."
 
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Deliverance

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 19, 2011
9,547
13,251
MCG
AFL Club
Hawthorn
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"
 

Wallaby

Norm Smith Medallist
May 8, 2007
9,127
11,038
vic
AFL Club
Richmond
My wife got naked and asked me 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
I looked her up and down and replied, 'Your sense of humour'.
 

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