Lame Jokes Part 2

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Mar 13, 2021
Dallas-Fort Worth, TX USA
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Cleveland in every sport
A guy walks into a bar and down at the opposite end he sees a kind of sad looking guy with a big orange for a head. He asks the bartender "Hey, I don't mean to pry, but--"

The bartender nods. "I'll stop you right there since I know what you're asking. Sad story really. Ask him about it, I bet he'll tell you the whole thing if you buy him a drink."

Tentatively, the guy walks down to the other end. "Excuse me," he says, "But I couldn't help but notice--"

"Yeah, yeah. The orange head. Get me a drink. I'll tell you all about it." So he orders them up a couple drinks and the orange head guy begins the story.

"It all started six months ago. I was walking along the beach and came across a bottle. I opened it, and out pops a genie. So the genie looks at me and says 'You have freed me from my confinement and I am in your debt, sir. I shall grant you three wishes of anything you want.'"

The original guy of course rolls his eyes. Genie stories. Right. We've all heard those before. But he continues listening as the guy with the orange head goes on.

"So I told the genie that I wanted to be absolutely filthy rich, and he nods and says it's so."

The original guy cuts in: "Whoa, hold on a sec there chief. You don't look filthy rich."

Orange head slaps his wallet down on the bar. "Look inside it," he says. So the original guy opens it and sees ten $100 bills and laughs.

"You call a thousand bucks rich? Get outta here with this crap..."

Orange head responds, "Take out the money, close the wallet and open it again, smart guy." So he does and there's another thousand dollars inside. And each time he removes the money, closes the wallet, and reopens it, it is always restocked. The original guy, clearly impressed, says "Okay, great, so what about the orange head?"

Orange head rolls his eyes, as the impatience is quite typical. "I'm getting to it, relax will ya? Anyways, for wish number two, I asked the genie to make me irresistible to women." He sees the original guy looking at him with doubt. So he stands up, walks over to a booth where three beautiful women are seated and comes back with all three of their phone numbers.

The original guy is absolutely stunned that these women could look past that glaring trait of a guy having a giant orange for a head. Just astonished! So he asks again "Alright, alright, so... come on, what about the head?!"

Orange head guy glares at him. "Pushy, aren't we? I'm getting to it. So I have all the money I want, all the women I want, things are going perfectly, right? And I still had one wish left! I mean seriously, how amazing is that? Right? Well, this is where I think I might have gone wrong...

"I said 'Genie... I want a massive orange for a head.'"


Apr 9, 2021
AFL Club
An elderly couple are climbing into bed, preparing to go to sleep for the night. The wife says to her husband, "It's okay Mick, I've set the alarm for seven."

He replies, "Why? There's only two of us." !


Premiership Player
Apr 1, 2011
AFL Club
My butt hair is so long, it made it to the Guinness Book of Records. Not for long though. They threw me out of the library pretty quickly.

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