Lame Jokes Part 2

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Wayne Dwop

All Australian
Apr 16, 2016
811
1,610
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
A rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with an Irish farmer who may have some theories on the matter....
The female reporter: I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?
The farmer stared at the reporter and said,
Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?
Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?
Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?
Reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?
Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day.... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go f**cking mad?
THE TV INTERVIEW WAS NEVER AIRED!!!
 

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The Greatest Ava

Recruiting Now
May 20, 2001
36,753
42,067
Beetaloo
AFL Club
Adelaide
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Baghdad Bombers
A copper of a small town was also the town's animal Vet.

One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.

An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"Do you require his services as a copper or as a vet?" the wife asked.

"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it".......
 

The Greatest Ava

Recruiting Now
May 20, 2001
36,753
42,067
Beetaloo
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Baghdad Bombers
A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.
He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto :
'To Fly. To Serve'?

The woman looks at him blankly
He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto
'Winning the hearts of the world'?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto
'Going beyond expectations'?

The woman looks at him sternly and says
'What the **** do you want?'
'Aha!' he says, "Qantas!"
 

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