Lame Jokes Part 2

worbod

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 26, 2008
5,886
7,507
Bendigo
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Liverpool
I wanted to write a joke about the facts of a court case I saw in the news but it ended up being a little brief.
 

STFU Donnie

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 31, 2012
5,417
8,493
AFL Club
Hawthorn
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Everton, Chiefs Kingdom
Three mates are walking home, and as they turn the corner of a street, a power line falls down in front of them. The man who checks tickets on a tram for a living did not have time to react, stepped on the power line and died. The second man, who stands out the front of an orchestra for a living, went to help his friend, but when he made contact with his body he was immediately electrocuted. The third man, who works in a bakery, accidentally stepped on the power line, but he did not die. He was a non-conductor.

I thought, being a baker, that a currant ran up his leg.
 

STFU Donnie

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 31, 2012
5,417
8,493
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Everton, Chiefs Kingdom
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn't matter. He's not going to come anyway.
 
May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Banhammer Big House Under 70s
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,"Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"
 

worbod

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 26, 2008
5,886
7,507
Bendigo
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Liverpool
The former lead-guitarist from Skyhooks is currently enjoying his new job redecorating community streets. He's painting the town, Red.

Yeah, I know what you're all thinking:

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Generalissimo

His Excellency
Jul 14, 2002
6,585
7,850
Somewhere
AFL Club
Geelong
Other Teams
The Mighty Cats
Pastor Schulz is about to check into their hotel and the front desk attendant is telling him about all the available channels. The Pastor interrupts, "Well, I certainly hope the pornography is disabled!"

"No, it's regular porn you sicko!"
 
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