Official Team Thread Las Vegas Bears Season 27 Colonnade - ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ TANDY S27 MATEFLON WINNER ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ

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Definitely sounds like a trap to me. I’ve never seen Doctor Gero run in all my years.
 
Barrybran said:
Don't listen to him xen. He's just jealous he's got noone to go on a nudie run with. Hey AceAndy, wanna join the Bears?
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I wouldn't say jealous probably more grateful.
 

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Tandy said:
I've done many a thing at a servo....some I'm not particularly proud of, but I can't say I've killed a man at one haha.
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Saw a cartoon one day - this service station attendant carries his cash register outside, approaches a customer sitting in his vehicle and says, "Fill 'er up." Obviously the cartoonist wasn't impressed with the price of fuel :).
 
Was i BOG last week?
 
Test Tickle said:
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Love your work.
I don’t know how we dipped under 50% against the Royals of all teams , but then again, maybe there was a very large “neutral” contingent ? I’m also pleasantly surprised that we hit 50% against the Demons . Again in light of the neutral posts , that’s a win :)
 
hilly will celebrate his 150th game for the club this week
reggie is 2 games away from his 200th career game
Matera92 is 4 games away from his 150th game for the club
Its Manbearpig is 5 games away from his 50th game for the club and 50th career game
Tommycash is 5 games away from his 50th game for the club
kane249 is 9 games away from breaking the club games record
 
THE SAUSAGE FILES #sweetlore


THE CHIEF​

She walked around the office. It was sleek, modern, all chrome and polished wood. The dragonskin leather chair glistened in the early afternoon light filtering in through the glazed, floor to ceiling windows, which looked out over the municipal district of Las Vegas. Yes, it was good to be the Chief. Sometimes. But, other times, tough decisions had to be made, for the good of the League. She knew that and accepted it. It didn't mean she had to like it though. She moved to sit behind her desk, looking again at the old Qooty card - it was ancient, of a Qooty player long forgotten. She turned the card over - on the back were the words "Remember Trieui Jenierr" and next to that, a picture of a panda. The irony of the picture, given where she now sat, wasn't lost on her. The intercom crackled and the voice of her secretary whispered through, his polite tone appropriately demure.
"Madam, your three o'clock is here."
She waited a moment, and then advised she was ready. Her three o'clock was the Captain of the Las Vegas Bears. And the Captain of the Las Vegas Bears was JoshWoodenSpoon, JWS for short. He was a pure athlete, straight 7 University graduate and all round nice guy. Perfect for the Captain of the Bears. Terrible at the off books work...but she had others for that. Right now, she needed him on board. He was the face of the team, the one who the kids loved and the grandmas thought of as their long lost son. Everyone loved him. He took the seat opposite her and adjusted his Fauxmani suit.

"JWS, we have a problem. We also have a solution. But first, the problem. Our financials are solid. The corporates are happy, revenue is up, attendance is up, the SFA is satisfied. The problem is our team performance isn't great. 1 flag in 22 years. Coming in to Season 27, we need to lift. Now, I know what you're going to say - all the usual bullshit. That's fine, I accept that. Hell, I'll even be saying the same thing on the news tonight. But, right NOW, we need an edge. A legal edge", she finished pointedly. JWS cleared his throat.
"What do you need from me?", he asked.
She studied him for a moment, wondering how best to push this through. She flicked her glance back to the card in her hand and looked back at him squarely.
'We've been running simulations during the off-season. I've had the propeller heads at the Uni Comp Sci division working overtime on it. With our current squad, with our current tactics, we'll be doing well to make the second week of the finals. That ain't gonna cut it. We need results and we need them NOW." She made a pointing gesture at the polished wood desk, emphasising the word.
"I've taken the liberty of commissioning research on the opposing teams. The report came back yesterday. The Demons look good, as do the Warriors. We will likely be with a bunch of teams log jammed behind them, scrapping our way week to week. This will be good for ratings and attendance. But it probably won't get us a flag. Simply put, we need something that nobody else has. And I think I've found it. But first, YOU need to come on board. What would you say if I told you that.......", she stopped and took a deep breath. "What would you say if I told you that what we see here isn't ALL there is to see?"

He blinked at her, stunned. This wasn't what he expected, at all. He'd been ready to fight for his job, for his team. Now she was talking metaphysics.
"What do you mean by that, exactly? Not all there is to see?", he asked roughly. She looked at him, assessing his readiness, his capacity to understand.
"We think...and when I see 'we', I mean myself, the Comp Sci console jockeys, a few other interested parties....we think there's something else governing the outcomes of games. There's some.....force.....at work, beyond the efforts of the Qooty players, not governed by fitness, talent, skill development. We've christened this the SIM force. SIM is an acronym we've come up with, it stands for Superior Intelligent Manipulation. Think of the number of times in Qooty, even across your junior years, when everything was going great in the lead up to the game. You felt good, no injuries. And then, suddenly, you feel flat. Like all your....inputs, your contents....were removed. Or were overcome by something else, something laying on top of you. The times in a match where the ball was heading straight through the middle and then suddenly, against the breeze, it just drifts wide for no reason. This happens a lot. Put simply, there's gigabytes of evidence to show that somewhere, out there," she waved her hand towards the window, "there's a SIM. And we need to find it, to understand it and, if possible.....control it." She stopped and looked at him, gauging his reaction. She'd essentially told him he wasn't in control of his own life, at least his Qooty life. He took it rather well.

"Yes, I agree," he said slowly. "I've wondered that myself at times. So....what do you need from me?", he finished.
She sat forward in her chair. Here's the money shot, she thought to herself. Closing the deal.
"I want you to take on one more player this season. Her name is MWPP. She's a scientist, of a very specialised type. She'll play, but she'll also have other work as well. Furthermore, a couple of your senior players will be required from time to time. All of this will be legal and sanctioned by the League. What we need is information. We need to broaden our intelligence gathering and find out what this SIM is, where it lives, what it's function is. To do that, we'll be periodically going....off reservation, as it were.....with our playing group to get the answers we need. Our playing group, with the addition of MWPP, now has the right skill set to undertake this research. The net result to us? A player or two might miss a weights session whilst they are otherwise occupied. But the outcome, by season's end....? We might be able to influence the result of a match before the ball is bounced." She looked at him expectantly and he met her gaze. So long as there was nothing illegal in it, he was good. So long as he was doing the right thing for the team, he could lead from the front.
"You got it, chief. Count me in." She wasn't aware she'd been holding her breath as she exhaled slowly.

"Right. First port of call is the Brunswick Junction Oval", as she threw a folder over to him. It had one word on it - CHUD. In big red letters.
"We think CHUD is the first line of enquiry. It was invented a few seasons back - it's essentially a primitive form of bodily recycling. Our researchers think it can pierce the veil of reality if used in the right concentrations, possibly allowing us a glimpse of....beyond. Down the BJO, they serve it as drinks - but it's in very low doses. We need to find out more about it and to research it effectively, we'll need some samples. I've got some people, posing as buyers, but the boys down there play hardball in their sleep. Outsiders get stonewalled. We need to find a way in. I think we have an angle though. Read the file tonight, then come back tomorrow afternoon. We'll talk more then." She swiveled in her dragonleather chair, rising to escort him out.

"One more thing....keep quiet on this, obviously. If word got out.....well, the League would back us up, but it'd be best if this was all done softly for now."
He looked at her again and down at the file in his hands. They felt sticky, as if something had rubbed off on his hands from the file. He looked back at her, for the first time realising how beautiful she was. Her auburn hair was catching the sunlight, as it reflected off the polished wood of the desk. He caught his breath.
"Sure chief. You got it." He walked out of the office.
She watched him go and then returned to her desk. She picked up the old Qooty card. I should probably report back to them, she thought to herself. She picked up the phone and started dialing the number for a residence in Gumbania, reminding herself to clear the phone record after the call.
 
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JWS, Captain of the Bears.....what does he know of THE CHIEF?
MWPP, Scientist, Qooty player....what is her relationship to THE CHIEF? What role does she have that's..."off reservation"?
Testy, Dav and Gero, Bear Leaders.....soon to be called into action!

To all Bears not yet mentioned, fear not! I will be including all of you who have posted this season as the story unfolds, nobody will be left out. I am not featuring as a character, because I am writing the story, not starring in it :)
 
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