Saveloy Rockstar get in here and deflect away from your s**t club.
So much has happened over the last 12 months but I think the starting point has to be last year's trade and draft periods.
Just to recap,
As you can see there has been more than 1 major controversy per month and we haven't even hit a full 12 month cycle. Although their year has nothing on Essendank's the year they were all suspended for drug cheating it would have to be up there as one of the worst in recent memory if not all time.
So much has happened that I've probably forgotten or left out some stuff TBH.
So much has happened over the last 12 months but I think the starting point has to be last year's trade and draft periods.
Just to recap,
- Traded out three players for salary cap reasons including one that is generally considered good at footy in Treloar and even went so far as to pay some of his salary for his new club. Their head coach at the time Mr Noflags lied to him and told him the players didn't like him and he should * off. It should be noted that these cap issues came about in part due to the previous recruitment of Dayne BeamsPLAYERCARDSTART11Dayne Beams
- Age
- 34
- Ht
- 187cm
- Wt
- 88kg
- Pos.
- Mid
CareerSeasonLast 5- D
- 25.6
- 5star
- K
- 13.2
- 5star
- HB
- 12.4
- 5star
- M
- 4.5
- 4star
- T
- 3.6
- 5star
- CL
- 4.9
- 5star
No current season stats available
- D
- 15.6
- 4star
- K
- 6.6
- 3star
- HB
- 9.0
- 5star
- M
- 4.6
- 5star
- T
- 2.6
- 4star
PLAYERCARDEND - Ned Guy Collingwood's list manager conducts the most hilarious cringey interview of all time trying to spin the disastrously bad trade period into something positive. -
- On draft night they traded their 2021 1st round pick for picks 24 and 30 and a future 4th to GWS. They finished 17th (more on that to come) essentially giving up highly prized pick 2 for mediocre picks in what can only be described as a gross overestimation of their list.
- The "Do Better" report is released indicating Australia's worst kept secret that the club are racists and outlining a strategy in which they can change public perception. Unfortunately it doesn't mention that no matter what they do their supporters will always be unwashed campaigners.
- Ed tells himself to GAGF before the board does after declaring a "proud day" after the findings of the "Do Better" report. This of course was only the final straw after the years of mismanagement and public embarrassment he caused.
- Season doesn't start well losing to basically everyone but Carlton, including s**t trucks like Essendon and West Coast. Round 7 they lose to Gold Coast at the 'G and are rightfully the focus of intense media scrutiny.
- Ned Guy "quits" as List Manager. Clearly he was scapegoated for the terrible decisions the club made.
- Speculation over Nafe's future is intensely focused on in the media with the club rightfully not commiting to him.
- The incumbent board is rumoured to be challenged by a ticket led by this guy's dad -
- Nafan tells himself to GAGF before he is sacked telling one last lie on his way out stating the 'Pies are "in really good shape going forward".
- They limp to the finish line in 17th position with only the worst list since Fitzroy's last season finishing below them with some notable loses to minnows such as Carlton and Hawfs in the run home.
- Craig McCrayCray, nobodies first choice is appointed new coach after Sam Mitchell leverages an offer from Collingwood and tells Jeff that he will leave if they don't fire Clarko and they promptly accomodate him. Clarko would rather be unemployed than to coach Collingwood and tells them to GAGF.
- Incumbent president Mark Korda tells Collingwood to GAGF leaving the top job open to probably Tom Browne's dad.
As you can see there has been more than 1 major controversy per month and we haven't even hit a full 12 month cycle. Although their year has nothing on Essendank's the year they were all suspended for drug cheating it would have to be up there as one of the worst in recent memory if not all time.
So much has happened that I've probably forgotten or left out some stuff TBH.