Man Dilemma

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Blues Angel

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Oct 10, 2002
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I've probably spelt 'dilemma' wrong, but who cares??

Anyway, here's my problem. There is a male that I really like - we've known of each other for about 12 years (you know, by sight and saying Hi occasionally) but it was recently that we sort of started talking more. For the first time ever here was a guy that I felt comfortable with talking to and hanging around. I am pretty sure he feels the same, but here's the problem.

About 18 months ago he was cheated on by his ex-fiancee, and he hasn't gotten over it - in other words, he's scared that all females are out to hurt him. So he tells me it's 'the wrong time for a relationship for him' and me, being duly mortified, backed off for a while. Then, whilst ****ed, I sent a few choice text messages to a mate of his, you know professing my adoration etc....then I have realised my absolute stupidity and haven't spoken to him for about 3 months.

His mates tell me that he does like me, but due to the ex factor all he wants is a one nighter (not my scene). Then a friend tells me that his closest mates don't like me because 'I wouldn't fit in with them - I mean X probably does want you, but his friends don't want him to want you..' I went to school with a couple of his closest friends and don't think the world of them, and they feel the same for me (they were in the cool crowd, I wasn't). So that sorta convinced me to back off even further.

The reason I am harping on this person is this very strange sensation that he isn't a write off just yet - I have this feeling that we will get together and be good for each other, but I don't know when or how that will happen.......feels sort of destined?!!

THEN over the last couple of Friday nites he's been out at the local pub - once with a female friend, who my sister believed was his cousin because 'they weren't holding hands, or even walking near each other - just didn't get the root vibe about those two', and last Friday he was out by himself. Mind you she was so ****ed she only vaguely remembers seeing him. Then I swore I saw him on Saturday walking with a younger girl.....

GOD I AM SO CONFUSED....what should I do?

1. Wait and see what New Years Eve brings
2. Forget all about him and move on to greener pastures

Sorry for the rant, needed to get that off my chest!
 
Sp, only prob is that 2 of his friends 'apparently' don't like me (this has been denied by all and sundry), but whenever we are out, they are nice enough to me?? The rest of his friends think I'm spesh (which I am of course!).

What to do, what to do??
 

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A bit of advice.

Just go for it. Don't listen to ANYTHING other people say, more than likely they just don't want you/him to be happy so they decide to try and stick their noses in. So go with your gut feeling.

Good luck with it. :)
 
Nope, i say DONT touch it!

For a start you are obviously a better person than just being a one nighter for him. So while he is out tarting with a different girl each week, just take solace in knowing that he has more respect for you than to treat you like one of those girls, and know that you will always be friends. Those girls will get a shag, and he'll not see them again.

It wont take him a few weeks, or even months to get over this cheating chick, if at all.... so you will need patience.... just be his mate and try to leave it at that.... you may find you meet some other nice boy and it will be interesting to see how X handles that one!!

As for his friends, unless you hear directly from THEM that they dont like you, dont believe it. People tell you things for their own selfish reasons and sometimes they arent telling the truth.
 
If he shows ANY signs of womanising, no matter how much you think he likes you, STAY THE HELL AWAY.

And if you break up don't talk to him, he'll more than likely just wanna pull you down further and try and screw up ANY chance of you trying to be happy. :mad:

And it won't friggin work. :mad:
 
Thanx for the advice everyone.....just think I'll stand back and see what happens.
I know the feelings are mutual, but what bloody drama to have to deal with!?
And if he's out getting scrags from the pub, then he can get stuffed - I can do better than that (I think)!!


:D

I just hope the chick my sister saw him with and the girl I think he was with on the weekend was his cousin for his sake - she looked about 16, and he's 26....

I swear, whenever I go out deliberately looking to pick up I don't, and when I do go out to have fun I get myself head cases like this one!!
 
Forgot to mention - he cheated on his ex first, then she cheated on him.......and he's the wounded one?!! WTF?

I don't get it?

'Once a cheater, always a cheater' - does that saying still stand, although he told me once that he'd 'never do it again, not worth the five minutes of fun to hurt someone you love'
 
Never believe a man when he says he wont dont it again. As soon as you turn your back he is hitting on some bird.
 
Originally posted by Blues Angel
Forgot to mention - he cheated on his ex first, then she cheated on him.......and he's the wounded one?!! WTF?

I don't get it?

'Once a cheater, always a cheater' - does that saying still stand, although he told me once that he'd 'never do it again, not worth the five minutes of fun to hurt someone you love'
Click to expand...

If that's the case, stay the hell away from him. Trust me. I just got out of a relationship with a man just like that. been 2 days, she disappears, he's back whinging to me.

It's helped me realise I don't care. :D

All I can say is you CAN do better. I know that too. Not ALL men are bastards. :)
 

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Originally posted by BluesBabe666
My thoughts exactly!!!! Where do they live then, these men that you speak of L22, on the moon? ;)
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We're scattered about. My heart breaks thinking of you single Bigfooty women going through these trials and tribulations with trolls, and I'm stuck on the other side of the world without the opportunity to take advantage of the situation.

TIP: You have to dump these jokers in order to make room for the sensitive guys to come swooping in. How many times have you watched a football game, when your side is trailing yet hot in the final two minutes? The siren sounds, you lose and you wish you had just a few seconds back on the clock. Perhaps some of those seconds from the first half when your team was playing cold.

Damn, but that's a fine analogy. I should write analogies professionally. But that's not what sensitive guys do. We share.
 
Originally posted by BluesBabe666
My thoughts exactly!!!! Where do they live then, these men that you speak of L22, on the moon? ;)
Click to expand...

Somebody got hurt not once not twice but three times....
 
Mooster, you sound lovely...are you single?? Knowing my luck probably not! :D

Coming to think of everything, perhaps Mr X that this thread was started for isn't such a good catch anyways, despite that gnawing annoying feeling that somethings gonna happen between us......

Is there any pills that I can take to get rid of this 'Destined to Be' feeling in the pit of my stomach??
 
Originally posted by lioness22
Pfffffffft, SO bitter.
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That would be me! ;) One night i actually had some guy talking to me for about ten minutes, then asked if i would go home with him. I told him i dont sleep with strangers, and he called me a bitter woman! (I could understand if he knew i was bitter but we hadnt gotten into that yet!
Originally posted by Frosties_Flank
Somebody got hurt not once not twice but three times....
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Only three? I wish!!!! ;)
Originally posted by Blues Angel
!
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Dont know if Moos is single BA but check out where he lives!! Its all bad, i tell ya!!!!!!! (not the place, just the fact that someone so lovely sounding is so far away from us!
 
Dont know if Moos is single BA but check out where he lives!! Its all bad, i tell ya!!!!!!! (not the place, just the fact that someone so lovely sounding is so far away from us!
Click to expand...

BB - Aint that the bloody truth!! :D

Any word on the Anti 'Destined to Be' pills people??!!!
 
Hmm... nope. I used to think it was really that way... but there have been 3 so far that have been "destined" to be mine that have escaped my clutches, so now i just think its all one goddamm joke!!!
 
Sorry, I just got ditched by the biggest actor in the world. I'm having fun with it tho, being his bestest friend, it's FUN because he doesn't know how to deal with it. ;) Confuses the hell out of him that I'm MOVING ON. ahahahahaha

I'm angry but not at all bitter coz I know there are better guys out there. :)
 

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