Preview Match Preview - Fremantle vs Carlton, round 3 - the Karen from Karlton Kup

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Megalon

Skills pay the bills
Jun 22, 2010
266
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How the teams played in round 2 2021

GWSCarlton vs Collingwood - 25 March @ MCG

Collingwood cut the Blue's backline to shreds in the first quarter, using all the steaknives they got in the 2020 trade period in return for losing Treolar, Stephenson and Phillips.


The Pies inside 50s were absolutely clinical and they finished the quarter 18 points ahead but it felt like they should have been further. Carlton fought their way back in the 2nd but it was the 3rd quarter where they really went to work in the contest and won the quarter. But the Pies kicked the first 2 goals of the final quarter to finish 21 point winners.

The final score was Collingwood 106 (16.10) to Carlton's 85 (13.7), and GWSCarlton players looked devastated after losing the game.

carlton-lose.jpg

Carlton's best players were Saad who provided great run and carry and metres gained, Martin with 3 goals and support around the ground, Walsh got plenty of the footy and McKay kicked 4 goals. Gibbons also popped up with 3 goals.

Main things that Freo should take out of their game is that Carlton were very strong inside, their forwards had space to work in, and they had this strange thing they called a forward line with pressure.

Freo vs the real GWS - 28 March @ Optus

Before the game, computer modelling suggested Freo's forwardline would look like the graphic below for much of the game, after the performance against Melbourne. No forwards would be able to find any space, and if they got on the end of it would probably drive their ship into a canal wall or something.

freos forward line.png

The game started like a follow on from last week, GWS kicked the first goal of the match and Freo just seemed to have nothing but skills errors and poor ball movement to offer. But within the same quarter Freo evolved into a completely different football side, and skills and quick ball movement were the order of the day. Over the next two quarters Freo dominated the game with contested possessions, inside 50s and ball movement, and the only damage Freo didn't do was on the scoreboard. GWS finally found some goals in the last quarter kicking 3 goals, but the damage was well and truly done and the final score was very very flattering to GWS.

Mundy wound back the clock to 2013 with a brilliant performance, finishing with 35 disposals, and Brayshaw was again dominant and effective in the middle and around the ground and also hit the scoreboard with 2 goals. Schultz and Switta showed then can easily play in the same forwardline together providing plenty of pressure, with Schultz kicking 3 and Switta 2, and Tabs popped up for 2 goals. Chapman made some mistakes but was generally composed with ball in hand and made a solid contribution for a first gamer


Predicted changes or crazy talk?

Carlton

Out - Casboult
In - McGovern if available or McDonald

Freo

Out - Fyfe, Giro
In - Treacy, Sturt


Last time we met

TRIGGER WARNING

Freo vs Carlton, Round 12 2020 (Saturday August 15, Optus Stadium)

It was a wet and cold night at Optus Stadium but Freo started with a bang, keeping Carlton to only one behind in the 1st quarter, and completely dominating the inside 50s and keeping the ball in Freo's forward half. Unlike the diabolical game in the wet against Geelong a few weeks earlier where Freo's skills in the wet were deplorable, Freo showed that the expensive and extensive hypnotic therapy program had finally helped Freo with their debilitating fear of any kind of water on gameday.

Taberner and Lobb both kicked goals in the 1st from lucky free kicks, Lobb with his trademark:

Rory Lobb Stutter Goal Approach Party Like It's 1999 and Lose Weight And Have Fun While You're Doing It Goal Kicking Routine Program TM, As Featured On The TVSN Channel Between 2am and 3am Every Wednesday Night, But There's No Guarantee Of The Results Or Having Fun So Please Read The Terms And Conditions And We Accept No Responsibility For Behinds Kicked Or No Fun, And There Are No Returns Acccepted, But How Energetic Does It Look, You Got This! You Can Reach Your Goals! (But Very Likely Not Kick Them)

tenor.gif

Freddy got a major after a superb inside 50 from Fyfe, who was best on ground in the 1st with a number of inside 50s and freakish ball winning ability, and Ryan and Cox were classy in defence with their intercept marking and spoiling.

Carlton came out firing in the second, Carlton with goals from Casboult and Cottrell before Taberner stepped up for his second. But Carlton had began clawing the game back to their advantage by the third quarter, and like an enraged Karen from Carlton Coles clawing the last 50 packs of loo paper into her trolley, began to dominate Freo and reduced the lead through sheer bloody entitlement. Freo soon realised that the loo paper isle was now empty and the loo paper was starting to run out at home, and Freo players were left scratching their heads - didn't WA end lockdown months earlier? Why the loo paper shortage now?

Unfortunately for Freo, Victoria had just entered full lockdown a week or two earlier, and 2nd wave cases were absolutely peaking during this time in their state. The lockdown. The masks. The conspiracy theorists and their COVID-19 is caused by 5G, but COVID-19 doesn't exist, and maybe 5G doesn't exist either, but f*** you I'm Karen so you will listen to me!!!! - Carlton had gone full on ballistic Karen, demanding to see the store manager like a Karen at Brighton Bunnings, and there was absolutely no way to stop the entitled outburst.

Freo started the 4th with a two point lead, and both teams missed opportunities early. Cox was denied an obvious mark in the backline, Blakely showed that he may as well close his eyes when kicking for goal, Ryan almost took mark of the year - but with less than 20 seconds left on the clock and Freo still only ahead by two points, Taberner decided to go for a poorly disguised effort to get it over the boundary line instead of getting it forward . This lead to a free for Karlton, who played on and kicked with Brayshaw coming up to defend the kick, and although whoever the Karlton player was kicked it out on the field it was... paid a downfield free. Despite being a 50/50, a legitimate contest by Brayshaw to stop that kick, and Brayshaw doing everything he could to avoid contact after it was kicked - he was penalised for a downfield free, and at this point you could have thought well that's pretty dodgy but I guess we got some easy frees early.

But...Karlton then pulled a complete swifty by demanding to now speak to the State Manager, and somehow managed to upgrade their position from Coles Brand 2 ply sawpaper-grade loo paper to Kleenex Silky Luxurious 3 ply Perfurmed By Calvin Klein loo paper. Gibbons was the closest player when it went out on the full - but somehow Newnes ended up with the kick on goal, and kicked the match winner.


To his credit, Newnes made the best of the opportunity and was as ice-cold as Yeti's fridge/freezer as he slotted it from the boundary line just inside the 50m arc to win the game, and Karlton celebrated like they had just won a lifetime's supply of Kleenex.

I could now talk about the final margin, who was best on ground, who was influential, but god damn I'm now so exhausted after reliving the most devastating game of 2020 that I'm going to summon the spirit of Karen from Karlton and say No I do NOT have to do that and you CANNOT make me because you are WRONG and you should go back to your menial job you servant your opinion means NOTHING to me.

PS Karen didn't get a refund either, for the Rory Lobb Goal Kicking Routine Program TM which she bought for Levi Casboult, so I guess we're all equal after all.
Now let's leave the memories of that game and time behind forever with a good win over Carlton.

Fremantle vs Karlton - round 3 2021, Marvel Stadium - Sunday 4 April 1:20pm WST

Fremantle to steal a win, by one loo paper roll.

tenor_jones.gif
 
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Van_Dyke

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But...Karlton then pulled a complete swifty by demanding to now speak to the State Manager, and somehow managed to upgrade their position from Coles Brand 2 ply sawpaper-grade loo paper to Kleenex Silky Luxurious 3 ply Perfurmed By Calvin Klein loo paper. Gibbons was the closest player when it went out on the full - but somehow Newnes ended up with the kick on goal, and kicked the match winner.
i thought we all agreed to never mention that again
 

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stax on the mull

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Dec 26, 2010
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Is that Kleenex Silky Luxurious 3 ply Perfurmed By Calvin Klein loo paper the one specially manufactured by Visy with Bec Judd's initials on corner of each square.
 

Megalon

Skills pay the bills
Jun 22, 2010
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Absolute elite preview :clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping: 10s all round
It's previews like these that make me never put my hand up to do one at the beginning of each year.

Elite effort Megalon.
Epic effort megalon.. Rory's stutter step k/tel..must watch viewing. I laughed so much.. thank you.
So glad I didn't put my hand up for a game preview this season.

I don't have the imagination or wit to match any of these so far.

Well done Megalon
Thank you so much for your kind words guys and gals, it means alot coming from fellow Freo supporters who are obviously the most respected and intelligent people in society, I'm quite blown away by the comments to be honest.

I was a bit apprehensive about it as it's my first ever match preview, but then I went f*** it and just went for it. As soon as I saw the Carlton game I knew that was the one, it was the most devastating loss of last season and I felt the best thing to do was take the absolute piss out of it (yeah go have a whinge to Pete Evans, Karen) ;)

That was so much fun putting it together and writing it though, to anyone who is thinking about it but isn't sure, just go for it.
 
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Quazar

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that is some effort Megalon, huge respect. And cheers for the belly laughs, very insightful. Or should that be incite-full?! That Carlton loss was a stinger, I really hope they can make amends
 

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Wally Walpamur

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Sep 23, 2016
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Thank you so much for your kind words guys and gals, it means alot coming from fellow Freo supporters who are obviously the most respected and intelligent people in society, I'm quite blown away by the comments to be honest.

I was a bit apprehensive about it as it's my first ever match preview, but then I went f*** it and just went for it. As soon as I saw the Carlton game I knew that was the one, it was the most devastating loss of last season and I felt the best thing to do was take the absolute piss out of it (yeah go have a whinge to Pete Evans, Karen) ;)

That was so much fun putting it together and writing it though, to anyone who is thinking about it but isn't sure, just go for it.
You should’ve quit while you’re ahead. I’m neither intelligent or respected in society.
 

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