Media - Meltin' With Elton (now with BRAB): S26 Melt of the Year Award | BigFooty

Media Meltin' With Elton (now with BRAB): S26 Melt of the Year Award

Discussion in 'The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League' started by Elton Johns Wig, Sep 13, 2018.

  1. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    At the heart of the SFA is banter. We love it, we really do. It is the foundation, the bedrock, the very heart of what this whole shebang is all about.

    But sometimes, people redline. Sometimes, the tone of words are misinterpreted. Sometimes you just keep poking people with a stick until they lose the plot.

    This is what is known far and wide, as a melt.


    Last year, the inaugral Meltin' with Elton Melt of the year winner was the one and only BRAB. I sat down with him to discuss the finer points of melting.

    [​IMG]


    Hi mate, thanks for sitting down for a chat. After the announcement of the inaugural Meltin' with Elton thread, and the initial nomination of sportsmaniac89 for a quality melt, what chance did you give yourself of "winning" the award?

    Honestly, sportsy is such a little bitch that it's hard to know with certainty that he won't break down emotionally in even more spectacular ways.

    There are real melts, and fake melts. You, sir, are very good at both. How do you come about with your fake melts? Are they planned, or do you see a social injustice etc and just run with it?

    I am honestly ******* outraged that you even imply that my fight for social justice is in anyway fabricated. Maybe if you didn't look at the world through your white, testosterone fuelled privilege you could understand why I'd be UPSET that people still use gendered pronouns in the sim!


    For the fake melts, do you have a sort of template that you use?

    My entire life is a disorganised mess, so no.

    Are you surprised the initial winner was not SM?

    I am a tad to be honest. He can melt it up as much as anyone.

    Will you be actively seeking out the Golden Fondue Pot again?

    No

    You are also very good at getting people to melt. Any tips or strategies, especially for the rookies out there, on how to induce a melt?


    Find a sore spot. Push. Ask open questions and continue to ask until they either crack the shits or squib. For example, Ant Bear exploits dead posters. Ask questions to him about this until he breaks.

    I used to get coach to melt by taking a small part of his post out of context, blowing it up, and prying until he cracked. Really got my socks off.

    I'm a good person.

    Finally, and this does not absolve you from going back to back, would you like to be a judge on this years Meltin' with Elton Award?

    Sure

    Thanks BRAB, I can think of no one more qualified to help me find a true and worthy winner. Looking forward to it.



    Now, good people of the SFA, I am relying on YOU to help with this award. We can't be in every match thread at once, and nor do we want to be.

    We need you, when we get a live one on the hook, to let us know. Nominate your fellow players. Goad them into exploding. Fish with the best bait you can afford. WE WANT MELTS GODDAMMIT!!

    Melt rules.
    1. If you are nominated, stiff shit, you're in.
    2. EJW and BRAB are the judges for the award. You can sway us, bribe us, abuse us. All or none of these may work. But at the end of the day, the nominations are ours to judge.
    3. The yearly winner will be decided by poll
    4. As the creator of the award, I am ineligible. It's not fair, but them's the rules. BRAB is still eligible, because he is a campaigner.
    5. If you successfully nominate a round, and I like it, you may be also deemed ineligible, getting protection and a free pass. But you may not either.




    Once again, thanks to BRAB for being on the panel for this years award. Expert help is always appreciated.

    Wig Out.

    Noms:

    rfctiger74
    NaturalDisaster
    okeydoke7
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2018
    Far Kern, BRAB, manangatang and 11 others like this.

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  2. Agent93

    Agent93 Ninety Three

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    I take offence at the assumption of EJW's race and gender BRAB.
     
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  3. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    It's been very quiet on the nomination front thus far this season.

    None of you campaigners are making much effort. I'm not angry, just disappointed.

    I was doing some light reading today and come across this from my old mate rfctiger74 in the "Match Thread Posting Participation" thread in relation to the subject of multi quoting.

    Congratulations you whiney shit, you're nominated.
     
    BRAB, Noobz0r, kdavva74 and 6 others like this.
  4. Barrybran

    Barrybran Norm Smith Medallist

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    This isn't melting so much as it's 'get off my lawn' material
     
  5. 3121 premiers

    3121 premiers fumbler

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    Sounds ghey.
     
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  6. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Test Tickle

    Test Tickle Previously Argas Tuft

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    I think poor old Tandy has had a melt down, he has disappeared since we lost our Wonders game, I'm concerned for his welfare.

    "Congratulations Wonders. Good luck for the year. Tandy Out. :poo:"
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2018
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  8. gym4life

    gym4life Premiership Player

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    I’m going to win this award just so I can be interviewed next season.
     
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  9. NaturalDisaster

    NaturalDisaster Hall of Famer

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    Only fake see through melts ever win so you probably can win pretty easy.
     
  10. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    Keep carrying on like you did when you lost on the weekend and you're more than half a chance.
     
  11. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    You on the other hand you little bitch.
     
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  12. sportsmaniac89

    sportsmaniac89 Persona Non Grata

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    Here we go! It's time for the rest of the league to pick up their melt game!
     
  13. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    It is indeed. And it's time for you lot to start dobbing on people ffs.
     
    JoshWoodenSpoon likes this.
  14. NaturalDisaster

    NaturalDisaster Hall of Famer

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  15. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    Read the rules *******!! Specifically rule number 4.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. NaturalDisaster

    NaturalDisaster Hall of Famer

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    You gutless squib.

    If you had any balls you would make yourself eligible.
     
    TJASTA and rfctiger74 like this.
  17. SarahSmiles

    SarahSmiles SarahFrowns

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    Nice melt.
    Elton Johns Wig I nominate Naturaldipshit
     
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  18. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    Accepted, with pleasure.
     
    SarahSmiles likes this.
  19. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    Been the same rules both years m7.

    [​IMG]
     
    SarahSmiles likes this.
  20. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    Oh haiiiiiiiii NaturalDisaster.

    [​IMG]

    This time you've been nommed for reals, and you deserve it.

    5 Gold Stars. Overwhelming favourite.
     
  21. NaturalDisaster

    NaturalDisaster Hall of Famer

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    I heard you the first time dumbstick.

    Also my melt last season was far better.
     
    Barrybran likes this.
  22. TJASTA

    TJASTA 100%

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    how does this one rank friend?
     
  23. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    NIce diversion away from Naturaldumbarse, but I ain't fallin for it.
     
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  24. Elton Johns Wig

    Elton Johns Wig On Day Release

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    Just making it official in the correct thread friend.
     
  25. NaturalDisaster

    NaturalDisaster Hall of Famer

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    I actually thought this was posted in my thread... Oops
     
    Elton Johns Wig likes this.
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