mental health - in athletes in partuclar

[Longjohnmire]

He's a few months older than I am, so if his experience is anything like mine participation awards weren't a thing when we were kids. That only came in a few years ago..

Well I’m only 30, though, some of these things were creeping in when I was in the junior club still. I accept the point though. He probably hasn’t been as exposed to these things as kids are now, but in saying that, that particular point wasn’t directly aimed at Tomic, more in a general sense about how the next gen coming through will fare.

 

[JayDon]

Apologies if it's already been said...
Not into spaces like paragraphs (when they are not).
AND is Bernard an example of a younger person who can't deal with loss.
"The world is your oyster!"
No it's not for most.
You lose more than you win!
Maybe he couldn't handle being vulnerable and losing? Just a thought.
YOU can research Rog Fed...he used to spit it!!!
Now he is fabulous.
Hope? Bernard can reach the same level?
Build from losses...LEARN... and build some humbleness?

 

[Howard Moon]

Think the main point is if someone claims depression your first call should be to give them the benefit of the doubt...because the time you don't , and you call them on it is the time somehing terrible might happen.

 

[Towno78]

lots of athletes/footballers coming down with mental illness of late - everyone is quick to judge and doubt... oh but they are rich, why be unhappy?

Australian people are a big bunch of faux grandstanders IMO.

They love getting on their moral high ground and standing up for causes that make them look good, they love saying #metoo, or #putyourbatout - or #ruok, they love a pink ribbon, or a red nose, or a moustache...or whatever else makes them sleep well at night.

its all BS - its like a charity standing order, they don't care, its a transaction without care - its about optics.

when someone really needs their help are they really there? or does the moral outrage take precedence.

Bernard Tomic - a person that has spawned more opinion pieces than maybe he deserves, but all for the wrong reason.

Here we have a guy, who has admitted he is depressed, and needs help.

does anyone offer help? no. They chastise him, call him a quitter, call him a squib, here now is the issue - the stigma remains, if you don't man up and stick it through, you are a coward. This is why men die from suicide, ...people can go on about how its ok to say you are struggling.. but look, is it? or is it just a show for the camera..

some of those arseholes on social media disgusted me.. boneheads like Dane Swan - and you get thousands of bonehead seals clapping at him like braindead zombies seals.. yeh right on dane, you tell him!!

Worst part is these people are in the majority. A bunch of people, a society who would rather get a laugh or harvest likes, than care for fellow humans.

OK I get it, Tomic may have polarized people - but what does he owe anyone?

Big deal, he happened to be good at a sport, again, what does he owe anyone? why does that somehow give anyone the right to expect him to excel at it that's not his desire?

People say he hasn't realized his talent.

Rubbish, he has got closer to realizing his talent and dreams than the bulk of society sitting in their cubicle for 40 years wishing for better..he tried and got closer than you.

But cleary there is more to this tale - I believe boomers, and even the generation under see Tomic as every millennial, a bunch of whinging, snot nosed entitled kids who cant see anything through, who cant handle adversary, who wont work hard and need a safe space for their emotions.

They believe they did it so hard in their early lives and came out the other side superior mental beings.

Let me ask you this, what normal teenager dosent get a little lost? Say stupid things? make a few wrong turns?

He has just happened to do it in the public eye.

You have this guy, who didn't have a dad, he had a boss, a coach - who drove him from age 7 til 'adulthood' with a single minded goal - to be good at tennis, nothing else, not be a good person, not care for others, not build a base of intelligence, or empathy or anything else. just. be. good. at. tennis.

Now he has been set free in the adult world, and he seems listless and lost, with the mind of a child - and nobody wants to help, they just want to chastice and throw barbs

I get it, the counting millons thing grates everyone, me included, and the squibbing isn't a traditionally aussie thing to do as an athlete on the world stage - but clearly they were both defence mechanisms for a troubled mind, a troubled soul. He still has that arrogant athletes mentality, very hard to back down and admit your flaws you when have been built up from age 7 as being better than most at something.

Anyway, people say oh he just went in the jungle for the money, rubbish.

I reckon he genuinely believed this could help him 'find himself' that silly cliché. I think its not a conceited attempt to find fame or money, I think he thought he might actually come out a better person, maybe challenge a few demons.

Maybe now he releases fixing decades of mental illness isn't as easy as sitting in a jungle for a month - it takes more hard professional work. The penny might have dropped....not for the tennis, for actually getting help

He said himself it was the first time his life has slowed down since he was a child, without training, tv, friends, a phone and he immediately got scared and depressed...

this is a good thing, you need to stop and hear those things once in a while, listen to your inner self.

running away from it wont help, have to knock it on the head.

I just hope he dosent come out and go headlong into training, sure, it might chase away the demons for a while but its still only temporary.

The wound is open now, get yourself some help before you get back to sport.

anyway, I went on a bit...

I just hope people, rank and file, keyboard warriors put their morals where their mouths are... ruok, isn't just a hashtag... its not just a day a year for you to make yourself feel better.

A bloke just reached out and everyone laughed and called him a squib. not cool.

I will preface this by saying I didn't read it all. It was very long. So apologies if your tone changed.
I think you are making the mistake of reading media and accepting that as an accurate reflection of society.
Do you know no one has offered Bernard help?
I'm sorry but I found a lot of your generalisations offensive and grossly inaccurate. It's certainly accurate for a percentage of the population who probably have the loudest voices (I'm not going to pretend to know approximately what that % is), and close to 100% of media.

 

[yaco55]

I think if he didn't behave the way he did people would have more sympathy; when it appears he's just milking money, complaining about life, and doing nothing to help himself, your average person who is working hard just to get by isn't going to be feeling a whole lot of empathy for the guy.

I'm not saying it's right, but when your average person is struggling to pay the bills while Tomic is talking about counting his millions, it's not going to garner much support for him.

The media certainly should be held to some (or any) kind of standards though, the way they relentlessly pursued Hird is the prime example of just how little they care about the repercussions of what they do.

Do you reckon Tomic just cruised around from a young age, occasionally picked up a tennis racquet, sometimes played tennis tournaments and suddenly reached number 17 in the world - He lead a regimented life from the age of 8, and did far more work in his childhood and teenage years than 99% of the population - I reckon he's earnt every cent of his money.

 

[DERO]

He should try the Dunning Kruger bar.

 

[Howard Moon]

he just went and ruined any good will he may have picked up in the last week...

he might have had a section of the community feeling for him after the exit and depression talk

then he comes out and blasts Lleyton Hewitt, and says TA is corrupt..ect ect

same old Tomic, didnt learn a thing..no penny dropped.. deflect deflect deflect

Get help m8, fix your self and the other stuff wont matter.

 

[owen87]

Do you reckon Tomic just cruised around from a young age, occasionally picked up a tennis racquet, sometimes played tennis tournaments and suddenly reached number 17 in the world - He lead a regimented life from the age of 8, and did far more work in his childhood and teenage years than 99% of the population - I reckon he's earnt every cent of his money.

Nothing I said suggests he hasn't worked hard to get to where he has; the problem is that because he happens to be rather talented at something that happens to make him a heap of money, that most people aren't going to be feeling a whole lot of sympathy for him.

Successful people in any field work hard; whether you're an Athlete, a CEO, or an Electrician. It's a misnomer to suggest that he somehow works harder or is more deserving of the money than anyone else, it's just luck that he happens to be very good at something that makes a heap of money, as opposed to being an exceptional carpenter.

The same for successful AFL players; I know plenty of amateur athletes in a number of other sports that work every bit as hard - or harder - than your average AFL player yet don't get paid anything for their efforts - I'm talking Commonwealth and Olympics Games level athletes who also have to work jobs to support themselves.

Does that negate him (or anyone else) needing help? Of course not. But it's easy to see why most people (who also work hard in their own lives mind you) aren't going to be feeling a whole lot of sympathy for someone who appears to be making no effort to improve the situation they're in. Most people aren't going to feel sympathetic towards someone who doesn't appear to be trying to him themselves.

This doesn't make it right, this doesn't mean Tomic hasn't had a pretty sh*t childhood, it doesn't mean the media should keep slamming him, and it certainly doesn't mean he isn't deserving of help.

 

[DapperDon]

he just went and ruined any good will he may have picked up in the last week...

he might have had a section of the community feeling for him after the exit and depression talk

then he comes out and blasts Lleyton Hewitt, and says TA is corrupt..ect ect

same old Tomic, didnt learn a thing..no penny dropped.. deflect deflect deflect

Get help m8, fix your self and the other stuff wont matter.

Yep, he's his own worst enemy.

Media need to stop going for a headline grab though, just let his sink into obscurity and we'll see what kind of person he becomes then.

 

[AcuteWhistle]

I don't watch tennis or reality tv or care about spoilt brats no matter their age, works for me.