Resource Mental Health

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Dramoth

Premium Platinum
Jul 19, 2005
29,583
21,955
Bunbury, WA
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Just in case anyone is wondering, I am still plodding along. I don't know if I'm progressing or if I'm just stagnating. My pshrink and I have been working on behaviour based therapy because CBT doesn't seem to work with me. We've been identifying a hell of a lot of ways that my mum mentally and emotionally abused me and is still abusing me through.

Sometimes she does something that really does my head in and sends me into a spiral. Like today... mum has a pressure sore on her arse. She sits in her chair all day, only getting out of it to go to the toilet or go to bed. Occasionally, she wanders up the street with a friend for a coffee or she goes out with a driver from our local aged care services provider. I've told her constantly she needs to get up and walk around. But she doesn't listen to me. Today at the doctors for her palliative care doctor appointment, we were talking about it. Every time she head something she didn't like, she tried to change the subject. Thankfully, the doctor wasn't taking any of that s**t and laid down the law. Mum tried to put the blame on the chair she sits in... said that she relives the pressure by lifting up the foot rest of the recliner. I explained to her that 1/3 of her weight is in her legs and that 2/3 is in her body and that's what is applying all the pressure to her arse. She tried to poo poo it, and the doctor supported me... called her out about it and said I was right. And then she got a bit of a grump on.

This is the s**t I have to deal with. And it keeps breaking me.
 

myblueroan

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 26, 2011
9,399
24,368
Melbourne
AFL Club
Carlton
Just in case anyone is wondering, I am still plodding along. I don't know if I'm progressing or if I'm just stagnating. My pshrink and I have been working on behaviour based therapy because CBT doesn't seem to work with me. We've been identifying a hell of a lot of ways that my mum mentally and emotionally abused me and is still abusing me through.

Sometimes she does something that really does my head in and sends me into a spiral. Like today... mum has a pressure sore on her arse. She sits in her chair all day, only getting out of it to go to the toilet or go to bed. Occasionally, she wanders up the street with a friend for a coffee or she goes out with a driver from our local aged care services provider. I've told her constantly she needs to get up and walk around. But she doesn't listen to me. Today at the doctors for her palliative care doctor appointment, we were talking about it. Every time she head something she didn't like, she tried to change the subject. Thankfully, the doctor wasn't taking any of that sh*t and laid down the law. Mum tried to put the blame on the chair she sits in... said that she relives the pressure by lifting up the foot rest of the recliner. I explained to her that 1/3 of her weight is in her legs and that 2/3 is in her body and that's what is applying all the pressure to her arse. She tried to poo poo it, and the doctor supported me... called her out about it and said I was right. And then she got a bit of a grump on.

This is the sh*t I have to deal with. And it keeps breaking me.
I hope you are getting the support you need Dramoth. Sounds like most important right now for you is respite relief help. I think we spoke about this before. Also consider putting mum into full time care. Only you can come to these decisions.
Thinking of you.
:blueheart:
 

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Dramoth

Premium Platinum
Jul 19, 2005
29,583
21,955
Bunbury, WA
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As a follow up… this morning, she’s sat in the other recliner saying “I want you to swap this one for the other chair” and that her normal chair is the reason for her pressure sore.

I’m afraid to say I lost it a bit. I’m an IT professional. We’re supposed to get up for 10 minutes every hour to prevent pressure sores. I know what the * I’m talking about. But no… that stupid old woman thinks that she knows better. Even her ******* doctor agreed with me when I told her how her pressure sore developed. And today, she knows better and it’s the chair causing her issue.
 

Wickzki

Definitely Sam MacLure.
Oct 1, 2010
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260168662_4521974024554604_2299769123262047832_n.jpg


Cute, whatever type of frog this is, but no good for sleeping. Chirpy little *er.
 

Wickzki

Definitely Sam MacLure.
Oct 1, 2010
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Sorry for the third person but much of this is my self-talk right now.

You put in your best efforts to get on with your life. You smash the goals set at rehabilitation. You make it very clear from day dot that your primary motivator is your family who you love more than anything else in this world.

You have the most successful year you probably can be expected to have. Everyone speaks glowingly of you, of the way you've tackled every challenge head on, of your dedication and love to your family. Everything is clear to the outside world.

You take your stepson out for his birthday (last Thursday) as your partner had to attend a work meeting and couldn't skip out on it.

You provide care for him again the following day for similar reasons.

The kid loves you. Calls you his father. Believes it in his heart too despite knowing that he has a biological father.

You join the kid's school's parents and citizens group as the communication officer and keep up on your commitments even throughout your hospitalization. You contribute to his sports and recreation. You're there for the occupational therapist, speech pathologist, and other medical professionals that the kid is working with to help him.

Every cent you've had to your name has been used to provide and care for your family even above your own needs. Legal and medical bills. Tools and equipment to enable your stepson to grow and develop as normally as possible. You don't even think twice about any of this and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Because of your partnered status and the fact that your partner has an income you get just $250 per fortnight for your disability. You are told Services Australia that they will not allow you to work so you have no DES support.

You finally get NDIS approved. Instead of using your supports to bolster your own requirements first, you align them with that of your family. Cleaner. Lawn mowing. Food preparation. Household tasks that were never your job but will ease the burden on your partner.

All for it to unravel on Saturday. Your partner tells you it's over and she wants you gone as soon as possible. A week before Christmas.

All because for some vague reason "we've drifted apart." "You're not the person you were for the two and a half years before your rehabilitation." "You don't support me in any way, shape or form." Mind you she was telling you that you were her rock not 24 hours before this sudden and abrupt change in her attitude.

And then the accusations start flowing which she doesn't even begin to believe.

What in the actual * am I supposed to do?

I do not understand and have no idea where or how to begin.
 

myblueroan

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 26, 2011
9,399
24,368
Melbourne
AFL Club
Carlton
I have no words Right now Wick. Actually I have a lot of unkind ones for your partner....
What a terrible thing to happen to you.
Some truth and honesty are the least you should expect if she is serious and this can't be sorted out.
Counselling together?
Does she have her own mental health issues?
I'm just so sorry Wick.
Everything you wrote about yourself and progress is how I have experienced you. An absolute champion...mentally buoyant through pain and crisis ...a very generous, funny warm and clever person.
Cyber hug.
We've got you.
 

Ash24

Club Legend
Nov 3, 2020
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Sorry for the third person but much of this is my self-talk right now.

You put in your best efforts to get on with your life. You smash the goals set at rehabilitation. You make it very clear from day dot that your primary motivator is your family who you love more than anything else in this world.

You have the most successful year you probably can be expected to have. Everyone speaks glowingly of you, of the way you've tackled every challenge head on, of your dedication and love to your family. Everything is clear to the outside world.

You take your stepson out for his birthday (last Thursday) as your partner had to attend a work meeting and couldn't skip out on it.

You provide care for him again the following day for similar reasons.

The kid loves you. Calls you his father. Believes it in his heart too despite knowing that he has a biological father.

You join the kid's school's parents and citizens group as the communication officer and keep up on your commitments even throughout your hospitalization. You contribute to his sports and recreation. You're there for the occupational therapist, speech pathologist, and other medical professionals that the kid is working with to help him.

Every cent you've had to your name has been used to provide and care for your family even above your own needs. Legal and medical bills. Tools and equipment to enable your stepson to grow and develop as normally as possible. You don't even think twice about any of this and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Because of your partnered status and the fact that your partner has an income you get just $250 per fortnight for your disability. You are told Services Australia that they will not allow you to work so you have no DES support.

You finally get NDIS approved. Instead of using your supports to bolster your own requirements first, you align them with that of your family. Cleaner. Lawn mowing. Food preparation. Household tasks that were never your job but will ease the burden on your partner.

All for it to unravel on Saturday. Your partner tells you it's over and she wants you gone as soon as possible. A week before Christmas.

All because for some vague reason "we've drifted apart." "You're not the person you were for the two and a half years before your rehabilitation." "You don't support me in any way, shape or form." Mind you she was telling you that you were her rock not 24 hours before this sudden and abrupt change in her attitude.

And then the accusations start flowing which she doesn't even begin to believe.

What in the actual fu** am I supposed to do?

I do not understand and have no idea where or how to begin.
I'm usually pretty bad at giving all sorts of advice, but Wick I really wish you all the best. We're all here for you and really appreciate you too, despite it all being on an online forum.

 

AndyWalkersGirl

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 21, 2006
8,951
8,480
The Apple Isle.
AFL Club
Carlton
Sorry for the third person but much of this is my self-talk right now.

You put in your best efforts to get on with your life. You smash the goals set at rehabilitation. You make it very clear from day dot that your primary motivator is your family who you love more than anything else in this world.

You have the most successful year you probably can be expected to have. Everyone speaks glowingly of you, of the way you've tackled every challenge head on, of your dedication and love to your family. Everything is clear to the outside world.

You take your stepson out for his birthday (last Thursday) as your partner had to attend a work meeting and couldn't skip out on it.

You provide care for him again the following day for similar reasons.

The kid loves you. Calls you his father. Believes it in his heart too despite knowing that he has a biological father.

You join the kid's school's parents and citizens group as the communication officer and keep up on your commitments even throughout your hospitalization. You contribute to his sports and recreation. You're there for the occupational therapist, speech pathologist, and other medical professionals that the kid is working with to help him.

Every cent you've had to your name has been used to provide and care for your family even above your own needs. Legal and medical bills. Tools and equipment to enable your stepson to grow and develop as normally as possible. You don't even think twice about any of this and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Because of your partnered status and the fact that your partner has an income you get just $250 per fortnight for your disability. You are told Services Australia that they will not allow you to work so you have no DES support.

You finally get NDIS approved. Instead of using your supports to bolster your own requirements first, you align them with that of your family. Cleaner. Lawn mowing. Food preparation. Household tasks that were never your job but will ease the burden on your partner.

All for it to unravel on Saturday. Your partner tells you it's over and she wants you gone as soon as possible. A week before Christmas.

All because for some vague reason "we've drifted apart." "You're not the person you were for the two and a half years before your rehabilitation." "You don't support me in any way, shape or form." Mind you she was telling you that you were her rock not 24 hours before this sudden and abrupt change in her attitude.

And then the accusations start flowing which she doesn't even begin to believe.

What in the actual fu** am I supposed to do?

I do not understand and have no idea where or how to begin.
Sorry to hear this. Hang in there xx
 

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Dramoth

Premium Platinum
Jul 19, 2005
29,583
21,955
Bunbury, WA
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Found out that my baby sister back in the UK tested positive just before Christmas... while visiting my 84 year old father and my MS suffering stepmum #3

That was a good start to the festive season!
 

Dramoth

Premium Platinum
Jul 19, 2005
29,583
21,955
Bunbury, WA
AFL Club
Carlton
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Manchester United
Yesterday, I had my psychiatrist assessment for CPTSD. Apparently being left on the side of the road and watching your mum drive off when you're three years old isn't really that traumatic. But, it seems that having you're mum threaten to cut off your hand and thump the axe into the chopping block next to your hand is more than enough. So... now that I'm officially somewhat batshit crazy, it's all good :D
 

TENACIOUS

Club Legend
Aug 16, 2008
2,349
9,354
AFL Club
Carlton
Yesterday, I had my psychiatrist assessment for CPTSD. Apparently being left on the side of the road and watching your mum drive off when you're three years old isn't really that traumatic. But, it seems that having you're mum threaten to cut off your hand and thump the axe into the chopping block next to your hand is more than enough. So... now that I'm officially somewhat batshit crazy, it's all good :D
Hope you’re ok Dram…

Also hope you’re making some inroads with the psychiatrist mate…
 

Wickzki

Definitely Sam MacLure.
Oct 1, 2010
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The pshrink and I are identifying a lot of issues that have happened over my life. It's going to take a while to sort them out I think.

Hang in there buddy. You're doing well with it all. Proud of you for sticking to it and refusing to put yourself in the too hard basket.
 

Elmer_Judd

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Jul 25, 2019
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The pshrink and I are identifying a lot of issues that have happened over my life. It's going to take a while to sort them out I think.

It's fantastic that you feel comfortable and brave enough to discuss these issues here.

I probably need to see a shrink/therapist myself, I am in a very healthy place with regards to my mental health myself, but I still have issues about my past and a certain family member I need to talk about and seek clarity about if I need to actually achieve inner peace myself

I have also been getting fitter, cutting out fast food intake and exercising a lot more, which has really helped me with my anxiety and panic attacks.
 

Wickzki

Definitely Sam MacLure.
Oct 1, 2010
20,767
42,719
Not the media
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Ophidians Old Boys, Blazers, MCFC

Never understood the personal attacks they get directly.

A certain Gold Coast Sun who had a great year last season sent me screenshots of some of the abuse he cops.

He's a good young player on the rise. No reason to pillor him. Yet there were a dozen sent to him in a week where they lost by a few goals and he played a solid game but wasn't best for the Suns (Miller was). No notable on field incidents, etc.

Really opened my eyes to it in ways I hadn't anticipated.
 

azlou

Club Legend
Mar 31, 2010
2,056
4,818
hampton
AFL Club
Carlton
Bloody twitter seems like blue pill red pill watching atrocities in 4K reading news weeks days before it happens I’m finding myself addicted to this constant stream of misery coming out of Ukrainian hoping the butcher dictator loses
The one follow from a notable left wing commentator takes you to the vile maggots of the hard left apologist that blame the rape and slaughter on America feel like I’m floating from bubble to bubble doom scrolling looking for answers i want to understand why I know as I understand why it provides no relief
I lose time with my kids family I cry real tears as I watch incredible courage and resilience of the ultimate underdogs
It’s not heathy I check my sons training and footy games Facebook big footy twitter weather quotes news it’s stealing my attention 6 months since I read a book
Here I am on my phone confessing not expecting absolution some times writing talking makes things more concrete less ethereal and I can change something
 

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