Resource Mental Health

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Hey Wick,
Pick up the phone and call someone please, anyone..... family, friend, hospital etc

If not sleep on it and chat to all of us in the morning mate.

If you want to pm any of us I am sure we will be there to listen and support you.

Hang in there mate !!
He's talking to me on messenger :)
 
Well... today is just a * a doodle do type of day. As I said in "you gotta hate"... my mum's cancer is back. ok top of losing our little dog, who was my emotional support for my anxiety and depression... it's been an awesome month for my mental health.


We suspected her cancer was back, but when I was telling her 2 months ago when she was in hospital for pneumonia, she wouldn't listen.
 
Jul 25, 2019
53,234
78,465
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Carlton
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Leeds United
Well... today is just a fu** a doodle do type of day. As I said in "you gotta hate"... my mum's cancer is back. ok top of losing our little dog, who was my emotional support for my anxiety and depression... it's been an awesome month for my mental health.


We suspected her cancer was back, but when I was telling her 2 months ago when she was in hospital for pneumonia, she wouldn't listen.

Man, don't know really what to say but sending you all my positive thoughts and best wishes.

All the best for your Mum and i wish there was more I could do, but thinking of you both and wishing for all the best mate.
 
Man, don't know really what to say but sending you all my positive thoughts and best wishes.

All the best for your Mum and i wish there was more I could do, but thinking of you both and wishing for all the best mate.
Like I said, we were sort of expecting it... and it's not a good sign when the doctor says that my mum's lungs are shot thanks to copd and a lifetime of smoking.
 
Well... today is just a fu** a doodle do type of day. As I said in "you gotta hate"... my mum's cancer is back. ok top of losing our little dog, who was my emotional support for my anxiety and depression... it's been an awesome month for my mental health.


We suspected her cancer was back, but when I was telling her 2 months ago when she was in hospital for pneumonia, she wouldn't listen.
Sorry to hear that Dramoth.
 
Feb 6, 2013
55,077
106,123
Locker #5
AFL Club
Carlton
I'm not usually one to vulnerably share (and I might delete this later) but today I took the first step in asking for help after hitting rock bottom with my child who doesn't sleep*. I've reached out to a residential mother and baby unit and am getting on the waiting list for an inpatient stay :thumbsu: I am very emotional about the whole thing.




*please don't offer me sleep solutions
Quick update. Thank * I have a good husband and family who support me because I still haven’t heard back from QEC. Would hate to be hanging on by a thread and waiting for a response.

Hanging on by about three threads instead.
 
Jul 25, 2019
53,234
78,465
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Leeds United
Quick update. Thank fu** I have a good husband and family who support me because I still haven’t heard back from QEC. Would hate to be hanging on by a thread and waiting for a response.

Hanging on by about three threads instead.

Stay strong Mebby, HBF seems like a good lad, but I suspect (as an outsider) you may be really tough/hard on yourself.

I can only give you sincere positive reinforcement and urge you to be kind to yourself and your family.

I dare say many young families and mothers have gone through what you and HBF are going through now.

Be kind to yourself, Mebby

57fdjx.jpg


I have trouble enough ttaking care of a feisty Kitten, and we all know Cats are much easier to handle than babies/kids
 
Quick update. Thank fu** I have a good husband and family who support me because I still haven’t heard back from QEC. Would hate to be hanging on by a thread and waiting for a response.

Hanging on by about three threads instead.
Hope you get there soon. Really disappointing it's taking so long. :) :heartdecoration:
 

Coona Blues

Director of Coaching
Nov 3, 2011
5,803
20,289
Bundaberg, Qld
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Tasmania
OK team, need to share with someone. Struggling physically and mentally. I have a myriad of physical issues, some of which I have alluded to on here at times.

Mentioned a while ago that I was finally going to get some surgery on my stuffed pelvis after doctors originally (semi) botched it 11 years ago. Scheduled for sometime in July, and has been both a positive and a negative mentally waiting for it to come around. After finally being heard by local surgeon during visit on related matters, scans confirmed my pelvis to be unstable. Subsequently told 3 of the 4 points of fixation are compromised.

Was told by another surgeon all those years ago when seeking second opinion after initial surgery that it was botched in that my symphis pubis was not fixed when I was pinned through sacroiliac. I was left 48mm “dilated” if you relate to female birthing structures. He advised that he could attempt to rectify the situation through bone grafts, but in all honesty was not a chance of success as he was currently on the third round of similar surgery with a patient with half the gap. He advised I would be able to do most normal activities with compromised mobility and probably significant nerve related pain. This was correct. Over the years wear and tear an resultant movement from not being attached further compromised the stability of entire pelvis. One of my titanium alloy pins holding me together actually broke and I spent the best part of 10 years trying to get a referral from a GP to get the issues addressed.

Managed to get an audience with local public surgeon on related (hip) issue for which I was deferred, but managed to get him to listen re pelvis and he did some scans. This was late last year. Scan showed gap in symphisis had reduced to 26mm. Had been less pain in that region so took it as a positive. These consultations take a while to come around, so viewed next visit with optimism only to be told the reverse was the case. My pelvis was “swinging in the breeze” and was beyond his pay grade, so was referred to Brisbane specialist. (Stereotypical rock star surgeon type, but is bloody good).

Until recent years with the birth of my daughter, I had exercised regularly in ocean during warmer months, but as prime career of little one had not been able to since she came along. Her starting school has allowed me to get back to the water to do significant exercise I cannot do on land. Combined with gardening when my body lets me and some focus on diet, I managed to lose 14kg this year. Surgeon was impressed, “yes I will operate on you, will be a major surgery, but go away for another 3 months, lose some more weight and get fitter, you are doing well”. I argued that it was getting cooler and I historically put on weight through cooler months, he should do it sooner rather than later, to no avail. We will make an appointment for 3 months and from there will schedule surgery within a month. No big waiting time for him, as most of his surgery is trauma related, not planned.

Was bed bound on back for 7 weeks after initial injury and op, then long rehab. Asked about process and recovery, given my need to look after little one and precarious income situation. We will let you home a week after operation if all things OK, but you will be non weight bearing for at least 8 weeks. Bed, wheelchair etc only. So have to make modifications in house, rails, ramps etc and wife will need to nurse me and look after little one. Only has limited holiday pay etc, so gunna be tough. Will take 12 months to rehab he reckons. Loving the idea of some normality, but stressing no end about the impact on the family.

Sorry for the long winded account, will get to it soonish. Surgery yay, two ways of doing it and won’t know which way he will go until he gets me on table. Less invasive “new” procedure is to make in incisions both hips and feed some wort of dowel through to support bone remodelling when he fuses the joints. The other “traditional” way is far more brutal “you will have tyre tracks across your lower back”. “Then we flip you over, take bone grafts and fix the front”. This is not a very welcoming mental picture, and is very difficult to look forward to without great trepidation.

So final chapter in book 1, or is it book 2 of this series. Busting my butt to prepare the yard etc for my operation and down time. I have a massive veggie garden. Takes some looking after with my issues, but do it as body allows. Allows me to contribute to family, is the envy of all who see. For you Victorians planting seasons different up here, Autumn/Winter growing season. Wanting to minimise strain on my wife an impact on our daughter. Pushing hard physically, but endurance wise have been better than for a long time. After school drop off on Wednesday, did 2 hours of moderate gardening, then went for beach session (2 hours, 10 minutes) this old fella has a go when he can. I experienced significant pain following day and attributed to stirring up a disc I have bulging issues with. Became apparent subsequently, that my pelvis has “let go” significant, approaching extreme pain yesterday morning. The right side of my pelvis/hip regularly “moves”, but have learned how to click it back in to position. However the left side has now done similar. Some self massage last night produced a little movement (don’t go there you sickos) which gave me some relief. However sleeping in bed did not provide enough support, so woke in agony and took my old man’s bladder to loo in significant pain. Coped first time, but second time excruciating pain, faint and nauseous. Literally crawled back to bed room where woke snoring wife. She wants to go to emergency, but they can’t help in short term. Trussed up in lower back brace for support in a recliner typing this. Will be contacting surgeon on Tuesday (Monday public holiday) unless can’t handle things over weekend. In for some fun times. So much to do and wifey is going to cop it all, doesn’t sit well, but beyond gritting teeth to get things done.

Alluded a while back to hoping you lot could help me stay sane when laid up. Immediate future a little unclear. Still upright to a degree so interesting to find out how quickly the public system will get to me. Excuse the long winded rambling, but it has helped mind focus elsewhere to a degree, certainly not sleeping. Sharing preferred to sitting and moping. Thanks all.
 
OK team, need to share with someone. Struggling physically and mentally. I have a myriad of physical issues, some of which I have alluded to on here at times.

Mentioned a while ago that I was finally going to get some surgery on my stuffed pelvis after doctors originally (semi) botched it 11 years ago. Scheduled for sometime in July, and has been both a positive and a negative mentally waiting for it to come around. After finally being heard by local surgeon during visit on related matters, scans confirmed my pelvis to be unstable. Subsequently told 3 of the 4 points of fixation are compromised.

Was told by another surgeon all those years ago when seeking second opinion after initial surgery that it was botched in that my symphis pubis was not fixed when I was pinned through sacroiliac. I was left 48mm “dilated” if you relate to female birthing structures. He advised that he could attempt to rectify the situation through bone grafts, but in all honesty was not a chance of success as he was currently on the third round of similar surgery with a patient with half the gap. He advised I would be able to do most normal activities with compromised mobility and probably significant nerve related pain. This was correct. Over the years wear and tear an resultant movement from not being attached further compromised the stability of entire pelvis. One of my titanium alloy pins holding me together actually broke and I spent the best part of 10 years trying to get a referral from a GP to get the issues addressed.

Managed to get an audience with local public surgeon on related (hip) issue for which I was deferred, but managed to get him to listen re pelvis and he did some scans. This was late last year. Scan showed gap in symphisis had reduced to 26mm. Had been less pain in that region so took it as a positive. These consultations take a while to come around, so viewed next visit with optimism only to be told the reverse was the case. My pelvis was “swinging in the breeze” and was beyond his pay grade, so was referred to Brisbane specialist. (Stereotypical rock star surgeon type, but is bloody good).

Until recent years with the birth of my daughter, I had exercised regularly in ocean during warmer months, but as prime career of little one had not been able to since she came along. Her starting school has allowed me to get back to the water to do significant exercise I cannot do on land. Combined with gardening when my body lets me and some focus on diet, I managed to lose 14kg this year. Surgeon was impressed, “yes I will operate on you, will be a major surgery, but go away for another 3 months, lose some more weight and get fitter, you are doing well”. I argued that it was getting cooler and I historically put on weight through cooler months, he should do it sooner rather than later, to no avail. We will make an appointment for 3 months and from there will schedule surgery within a month. No big waiting time for him, as most of his surgery is trauma related, not planned.

Was bed bound on back for 7 weeks after initial injury and op, then long rehab. Asked about process and recovery, given my need to look after little one and precarious income situation. We will let you home a week after operation if all things OK, but you will be non weight bearing for at least 8 weeks. Bed, wheelchair etc only. So have to make modifications in house, rails, ramps etc and wife will need to nurse me and look after little one. Only has limited holiday pay etc, so gunna be tough. Will take 12 months to rehab he reckons. Loving the idea of some normality, but stressing no end about the impact on the family.

Sorry for the long winded account, will get to it soonish. Surgery yay, two ways of doing it and won’t know which way he will go until he gets me on table. Less invasive “new” procedure is to make in incisions both hips and feed some wort of dowel through to support bone remodelling when he fuses the joints. The other “traditional” way is far more brutal “you will have tyre tracks across your lower back”. “Then we flip you over, take bone grafts and fix the front”. This is not a very welcoming mental picture, and is very difficult to look forward to without great trepidation.

So final chapter in book 1, or is it book 2 of this series. Busting my butt to prepare the yard etc for my operation and down time. I have a massive veggie garden. Takes some looking after with my issues, but do it as body allows. Allows me to contribute to family, is the envy of all who see. For you Victorians planting seasons different up here, Autumn/Winter growing season. Wanting to minimise strain on my wife an impact on our daughter. Pushing hard physically, but endurance wise have been better than for a long time. After school drop off on Wednesday, did 2 hours of moderate gardening, then went for beach session (2 hours, 10 minutes) this old fella has a go when he can. I experienced significant pain following day and attributed to stirring up a disc I have bulging issues with. Became apparent subsequently, that my pelvis has “let go” significant, approaching extreme pain yesterday morning. The right side of my pelvis/hip regularly “moves”, but have learned how to click it back in to position. However the left side has now done similar. Some self massage last night produced a little movement (don’t go there you sickos) which gave me some relief. However sleeping in bed did not provide enough support, so woke in agony and took my old man’s bladder to loo in significant pain. Coped first time, but second time excruciating pain, faint and nauseous. Literally crawled back to bed room where woke snoring wife. She wants to go to emergency, but they can’t help in short term. Trussed up in lower back brace for support in a recliner typing this. Will be contacting surgeon on Tuesday (Monday public holiday) unless can’t handle things over weekend. In for some fun times. So much to do and wifey is going to cop it all, doesn’t sit well, but beyond gritting teeth to get things done.

Alluded a while back to hoping you lot could help me stay sane when laid up. Immediate future a little unclear. Still upright to a degree so interesting to find out how quickly the public system will get to me. Excuse the long winded rambling, but it has helped mind focus elsewhere to a degree, certainly not sleeping. Sharing preferred to sitting and moping. Thanks all.
Sorry the love emoji is smiling like it was a happy post coona!!
Thanks for telling us all that.
Do you have a date for surgery yet?
I wonder if you could ring the local council about what help they might offer through your rehab...shopping amd cleaning might mean your wife can work more...similarly request a social worker appt when you are admitted or post surgery stay in hospital. See what help is a available. Perhaps they offer nurse at home service....
Also, Perhaps your wife wil be eligible for carer pay.
It sounds like it has been a long tough road...unbearable at times, and my heart goes out to you dear Coona . Well done on losing some weight for the surgery too.
Keeping you in my prayers ( if that's ok?)
Big hug
Horsie.
 

Coona Blues

Director of Coaching
Nov 3, 2011
5,803
20,289
Bundaberg, Qld
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Tasmania
Sorry the love emoji is smiling like it was a happy post coona!!
Thanks for telling us all that.
Do you have a date for surgery yet?
I wonder if you could ring the local council about what help they might offer through your rehab...shopping amd cleaning might mean your wife can work more...similarly request a social worker appt when you are admitted or post surgery stay in hospital. See what help is a available. Perhaps they offer nurse at home service....
Also, Perhaps your wife wil be eligible for carer pay.
It sounds like it has been a long tough road...unbearable at times, and my heart goes out to you dear Coona . Well done on losing some weight for the surgery too.
Keeping you in my prayers ( if that's ok?)
Big hug
Horsie.
Thanks Horsie, quite ironic, was a horsey that caused all this. No date, was supposed to be July on surgeons schedule as was doing OK. Was saying very challenging mentally to submit to such an invasive, even horrific surgery when largely doing
OK comparatively. That aspect gone now, it is cactus. Not wanting to be hospitalised before op, but might have to get some potent pAin meds. Weaned off them years ago, as doing more harm than good, but this pain is way up there and across the counter stuff not doing it last couple of days. Seems at it’s worst when lay down, and can shift. So looks like bed off limits for a while, have a good recliner until they take me in.

At least I have my little angel to inspire my rehab. We’re plenty of urges to end it before little one came along to get me out of bed every day. Was hard to convince myself missus wasn’t better off without me before that. Thankfully that behind me now, but next few months will be a battle. Plenty of screen time on BigFooty, here every day no, but might become constant.

Might be wishful thinking for an overweight old fart, but my end game is hopefully to be strong and sound enough to run and play with my little one, at least on limited basis. So frustrating not being able to get out a walk watching her running and wanting to play tag.
 
Thanks Horsie, quite ironic, was a horsey that caused all this. No date, was supposed to be July on surgeons schedule as was doing OK. Was saying very challenging mentally to submit to such an invasive, even horrific surgery when largely doing
OK comparatively. That aspect gone now, it is cactus. Not wanting to be hospitalised before op, but might have to get some potent pAin meds. Weaned off them years ago, as doing more harm than good, but this pain is way up there and across the counter stuff not doing it last couple of days. Seems at it’s worst when lay down, and can shift. So looks like bed off limits for a while, have a good recliner until they take me in.

At least I have my little angel to inspire my rehab. We’re plenty of urges to end it before little one came along to get me out of bed every day. Was hard to convince myself missus wasn’t better off without me before that. Thankfully that behind me now, but next few months will be a battle. Plenty of screen time on BigFooty, here every day no, but might become constant.

Might be wishful thinking for an overweight old fart, but my end game is hopefully to be strong and sound enough to run and play with my little one, at least on limited basis. So frustrating not being able to get out a walk watching her running and wanting to play tag.
Your end-game sounds fab.
I guess I'm wondering if they might get you in sooner for op. Now this has happened? Worth asking them the question?
 

Coona Blues

Director of Coaching
Nov 3, 2011
5,803
20,289
Bundaberg, Qld
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Tasmania
Your end-game sounds fab.
I guess I'm wondering if they might get you in sooner for op. Now this has happened? Worth asking them the question?
Will be asking at earliest opportunity. Only have surgeon's appointment scheduler contact and only office hours. Sat on hold over 15 minutes yesterday and gave up. Logistically, I am in Bundaberg and surgeon in Brisbane 4 1/2 hours away. Only does one arvo per fortnight consults in public system as "rock star" surgeon. Have to get in touch, presumably through public system, which isn't easy. Short of calling ambo and making huge deal, not quite there yet. Want it mildly manageable/controllable for wifey. Rest assured, will be fast tracking. Going to call local hospital soon to ask for guidance how to proceed.
 
Will be asking at earliest opportunity. Only have surgeon's appointment scheduler contact and only office hours. Sat on hold over 15 minutes yesterday and gave up. Logistically, I am in Bundaberg and surgeon in Brisbane 4 1/2 hours away. Only does one arvo per fortnight consults in public system as "rock star" surgeon. Have to get in touch, presumably through public system, which isn't easy. Short of calling ambo and making huge deal, not quite there yet. Want it mildly manageable/controllable for wifey. Rest assured, will be fast tracking. Going to call local hospital soon to ask for guidance how to proceed.
Please take good care of yourself. This is one of those times putting yourself 1st can only help your wife and daughter in the larger scheme of things.. :) 💙
 
Will be asking at earliest opportunity. Only have surgeon's appointment scheduler contact and only office hours. Sat on hold over 15 minutes yesterday and gave up. Logistically, I am in Bundaberg and surgeon in Brisbane 4 1/2 hours away. Only does one arvo per fortnight consults in public system as "rock star" surgeon. Have to get in touch, presumably through public system, which isn't easy. Short of calling ambo and making huge deal, not quite there yet. Want it mildly manageable/controllable for wifey. Rest assured, will be fast tracking. Going to call local hospital soon to ask for guidance how to proceed.

Just wanted to offer you my support and tell you that I hope things are looking up for you at the end of the long weekend.

Are you going to go under the knife at the PAH?
 

Coona Blues

Director of Coaching
Nov 3, 2011
5,803
20,289
Bundaberg, Qld
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Tasmania
Just wanted to offer you my support and tell you that I hope things are looking up for you at the end of the long weekend.

Are you going to go under the knife at the PAH?
Thanks Wick.

Still in limbo of sorts. Trekking to Brisbane tomorrow. North Shore / RBWH. Going to be challenge in car. Could have gone the 000 way, but would have been to local hospital, then trying to link up from there, surgeon only consults one day per fortnight. Finally got involved with Ortho dept. Doc is very specialised and not much waiting so hoping theatres available etc in very near future. Taking a bag just in case, but will probably have to come home and wait. Don’t want to be away from my girls unless essential, as long as they give me some decent drugs. They gave me 3 days worth on Saturday. Going to be ultra stressful for our 4yo (nearly 5) youngest kid in the school (Prep) so hoping to get down and back in day, unless admitted for surgery, going to be a battle. I am a shocking passenger so might try to drive at least some (despite protests).

Feeling should have good chance of hastening surgery even though public. Can’t sleep in bed, semi-.reclined, sitting or brief standing/walking gives less chance for gravity to create pressures. Comfortable/manageable 95% of time, but when hits, wow
faint(ing), puking and pain off charts. Have learned a few tricks to settling it fairly quickly, but challenging. Can do sweet FA so my weight loss will quickly turn around if they delay. Have resurrected a couple of old pairs of “Skins”(too small) and have an off the shelf support belt to compress and hold things in place in the interim.

Daresay I will know more this time tomorrow. From the Mental Health aspect it is a positive that future will be known tomorrow. The sooner we face this rather than contemplate it, the better.
 
Daresay I will know more this time tomorrow. From the Mental Health aspect it is a positive that future will be known tomorrow. The sooner we face this rather than contemplate it, the better.

I hear you loud and clear. We're all right there with you mate. Good luck tomorrow.

Is there anything we can do to help you down here in Brisbane? Is there anything you need? Anything at all?

Feel free to PM me.
 
Thanks Wick.

Still in limbo of sorts. Trekking to Brisbane tomorrow. North Shore / RBWH. Going to be challenge in car. Could have gone the 000 way, but would have been to local hospital, then trying to link up from there, surgeon only consults one day per fortnight. Finally got involved with Ortho dept. Doc is very specialised and not much waiting so hoping theatres available etc in very near future. Taking a bag just in case, but will probably have to come home and wait. Don’t want to be away from my girls unless essential, as long as they give me some decent drugs. They gave me 3 days worth on Saturday. Going to be ultra stressful for our 4yo (nearly 5) youngest kid in the school (Prep) so hoping to get down and back in day, unless admitted for surgery, going to be a battle. I am a shocking passenger so might try to drive at least some (despite protests).

Feeling should have good chance of hastening surgery even though public. Can’t sleep in bed, semi-.reclined, sitting or brief standing/walking gives less chance for gravity to create pressures. Comfortable/manageable 95% of time, but when hits, wow
faint(ing), puking and pain off charts. Have learned a few tricks to settling it fairly quickly, but challenging. Can do sweet FA so my weight loss will quickly turn around if they delay. Have resurrected a couple of old pairs of “Skins”(too small) and have an off the shelf support belt to compress and hold things in place in the interim.

Daresay I will know more this time tomorrow. From the Mental Health aspect it is a positive that future will be known tomorrow. The sooner we face this rather than contemplate it, the better.
Best of luck and bestest of well trained health professionals. Safe driving.
 

Coona Blues

Director of Coaching
Nov 3, 2011
5,803
20,289
Bundaberg, Qld
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Tasmania
Please take good care of yourself. This is one of those times putting yourself 1st can only help your wife and daughter in the larger scheme of things.. :) 💙
I hear you loud and clear. We're all right there with you mate. Good luck tomorrow.

Is there anything we can do to help you down here in Brisbane? Is there anything you need? Anything at all?

Feel free to PM me.
Best of luck and bestest of well trained health professionals. Safe driving.
Thanks all. Back home after massive day. Bit of short shift from surgeon after cue jumping for consultation. Committed to op within a 3 to 6 week window. “Go home, keep exercising and try to lose more weight”. ..... Um mate, do you see the walking stick and the support clothing?
 
Thanks all. Back home after massive day. Bit of short shift from surgeon after cue jumping for consultation. Committed to op within a 3 to 6 week window. “Go home, keep exercising and try to lose more weight”. ..... Um mate, do you see the walking stick and the support clothing?

Good news. Please feel free to PM me if there's ever anything my partner and I can do for you down here to help make things a little easier.
 
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