Discussion Mental Illness (Call Beyond Blue (1300 224 636), Lifeline (131 114))

allrighty

Premium Gold
Jun 5, 2007
6,980
10,155
Over the hill and far out
AFL Club
Geelong
It’s great to see you hanging in there for her mate. Depression is very hard on partners and many relationships don’t make it. She is blessed to have you.
Thankyou my friend. Good news is she is coming out of it, has a job interview this week and things are looking up for her. Yes it's a bloody tough disease.
 

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Indie Rock

Club Legend
Apr 2, 2018
1,398
6,325
AFL Club
St Kilda
It was really humbling to read through this thread and the bravery of those sharing their stories of how mental illness has affected them or their loved ones. I was going through a bit of a bad time a few months ago when I first got on to this and reading other people’s stories helped me a lot. I think it just made me feel less alone with it and that mental health issues are (unfortunately) quite common and not abnormal - so thank you.

Am here also for a chat any time anyone needs it.
 

St Muir

Team Captain
Oct 18, 2018
563
2,127
AFL Club
St Kilda
It was really humbling to read through this thread and the bravery of those sharing their stories of how mental illness has affected them or their loved ones. I was going through a bit of a bad time a few months ago when I first got on to this and reading other people’s stories helped me a lot. I think it just made me feel less alone with it and that mental health issues are (unfortunately) quite common and not abnormal - so thank you.

Am here also for a chat any time anyone needs it.
It’s great to hear it helped. I’ve found it cathartic. Maybe the anonymity helps? Regardless, the people posting here are incredible and my heart goes out to each and every one of them.
 

allrighty

Premium Gold
Jun 5, 2007
6,980
10,155
Over the hill and far out
AFL Club
Geelong
It was really humbling to read through this thread and the bravery of those sharing their stories of how mental illness has affected them or their loved ones. I was going through a bit of a bad time a few months ago when I first got on to this and reading other people’s stories helped me a lot. I think it just made me feel less alone with it and that mental health issues are (unfortunately) quite common and not abnormal - so thank you.

Am here also for a chat any time anyone needs it.
My missus, being an award winning writer, is thinking of getting a blog up or support group or something. But of course that takes effort, confidence and involvement of others who are in the same boat as her. I'm pretty sure she will do it, and if so I will post details here. Hang in, we can all get through it
 

VDS66

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 4, 2011
21,166
54,857
AFL Club
St Kilda
Once again, tragedy brings this topic out in the open.

It shouldn't have to be that way. Surely we are better than that as a society?

Today also marks the 18th anniversary of 9/11 and the senseless waste of life.

This combined with Spud's death and Thursday being the RU OK day started a discussion at our sales meeting this morning.

We took it in turns to ask a colleague if they are OK.

It was very awkward until it became my turn. It just shows how difficult it is for people to speak up in tough times.

And I implored to them as I do to you... Reach out. Don't be proud, don't be shy, don't be embarrassed.

This is serious s**t you are dealing with.

Just reach out. We are lucky to have this little community in here that checks in on each other.

I remind you that this is also a perfect place to be able to speak anonymously without the stigma of judgement.

s**t happens in life when you least expect it. Suicide, relationships, illness and financial challenges.

Sometimes, all it takes is the perspective from an outsider who isn't emotionally invested in your situation.

The wealth of life experience in here is enormous, and from all walks of life.

Reach out. We are here for you.
 

Keg on legs

Premium Gold
Oct 5, 2014
14,836
49,303
The beer fridge
AFL Club
St Kilda
Once again, tragedy brings this topic out in the open.

It shouldn't have to be that way. Surely we are better than that as a society?

Today also marks the 18th anniversary of 9/11 and the senseless waste of life.

This combined with Spud's death and Thursday being the RU OK day started a discussion at our sales meeting this morning.

We took it in turns to ask a colleague if they are OK.

It was very awkward until it became my turn. It just shows how difficult it is for people to speak up in tough times.

And I implored to them as I do to you... Reach out. Don't be proud, don't be shy, don't be embarrassed.

This is serious s**t you are dealing with.

Just reach out. We are lucky to have this little community in here that checks in on each other.

I remind you that this is also a perfect place to be able to speak anonymously without the stigma of judgement.

s**t happens in life when you least expect it. Suicide, relationships, illness and financial challenges.

Sometimes, all it takes is the perspective from an outsider who isn't emotionally invested in your situation.

The wealth of life experience in here is enormous, and from all walks of life.

Reach out. We are here for you.
Beautifully said mate
 

austinnn

Veteran GOP
Nov 7, 2012
5,037
15,039
France
AFL Club
St Kilda
Other Teams
Liverpool FC, Bristol City FC

Hey VDS not sure how to copy posts but hope this will do.
 

VDS66

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 4, 2011
21,166
54,857
AFL Club
St Kilda

Hey VDS not sure how to copy posts but hope this will do.
awesomeness!

Love u mate.
 

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Jughead77

Premium Platinum
Sep 25, 2017
628
5,103
AFL Club
St Kilda
Hi everyone, this is long overdue. Huge respects to all who've already posted. Because of you, many will now find courage to tell their own stories. I apologise if my post is all over the shop, there's a lot im revealing, so bear with me.

When I heard Spud had passed, my initial reaction was one of shock. He was captain when I first started following St Kilda, and since then, he's been a constant fixture in my life, whether it's on screen or on the radio. In recent years, he became much more than that. Listening to his weekly Men's Health show, provided me with some comfort as i battled my own demons. There were many parallels between his story and mine, which intensified my link with Spud. So much of what was in him, I saw in myself.

Well, how do i start my story? I guess the key moment that transcends everything, is the loss of my friend Amanda 15 years ago. She was my gf's best friend. As a baby(chinese), her mother sold her to a rich indian family, to be raised as a maid. As she got older, her father grew to love her incredibly, and treated her like one of his own. On the other hand, her adoptive mother and siblings never accepted her, and picked on her relentlessly. When she was 12, her father had a heart attack and died. In his will, he divided everything equally among all his kids, 20 million each.

Her share was placed with a 3rd party trust, and basically from that moment, her adoptive mother tried everything, to make sure she never saw a cent. Within months she was kicked out of the house, nowhere to go and no family to turn to. Her best friend(my ex gf) took her in for awhile. When she turned 14, she moved out and started living with different guys. I think she just craved a male father figure in her life and ppl took advantage of that.

When I met her, she was 19. By this time, she'd found a lawyer to help fight her family for her rightful share of the inheritance. Within weeks, I asked her to come stay with me as I couldn't stand how guys were treating her. For more than a year, we slept together in that same small bed in that same small room. There was never any hint of a sexual relationship, she was literally my little sister. I followed her to many court appearances, and each time her case would get postponed, leaving her in perpetual limbo.

Later on, she was able to get some funds released, so she could go to uni. And, there was enough so she could get her own place on campus. Most weekends though she'd be back at my place.

Anyway, a couple of years passed, we were still very close. One day, my ex-gf and her had an argument, and they stopped talking. As usual, I refused to get involved. She messaged and called me a few times over the next few days, I said I'd get back to her, but never did. Well, after a bad day in court, when money for her fees was delayed once again, she just had enough. She swallowed over 100 different pills and that was it. We didn't find out until a week later, by this time her adopted family had collected her body and cremated her. I tried and tried to find out where her remains were so i could say goodbye, but they refused to tell me.

I just miss my sister, and i want to be with her. It breaks my heart thinking she died alone and even now i have no idea where her remains are. I've never forgiven myself for what happened and i never will. Counselling, therapy, etc, all have no effect. Over the years, in my search for peace and closure, I've covered anything and everything. From dozens of books about the afterlife, to different religions, even to such 'alternatives' as witchdoctors, shamans, ghosts, etc. Each of these is a story in itself.

And, from the day she died, I promised myself, to never turn down a friend when they needed me, no matter what. Even if they were taking advantage of me, and i knew it, id rather be cheated than go through anything like that again.

For the next 15 yrs, that's been how I've lived my life. Although, to say it's just that incident that defines my character would be unfair, as there's so much more.

Wow, I just realised I've rambled on a bit and there's still plenty I haven't touched on, including my history of anxiety and everything else. I'll take a break, and continue shortly.
 

VDS66

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 4, 2011
21,166
54,857
AFL Club
St Kilda
Hi everyone, this is long overdue. Huge respects to all who've already posted. Because of you, many will now find courage to tell their own stories. I apologise if my post is all over the shop, there's a lot im revealing, so bear with me.

When I heard Spud had passed, my initial reaction was one of shock. He was captain when I first started following St Kilda, and since then, he's been a constant fixture in my life, whether it's on screen or on the radio. In recent years, he became much more than that. Listening to his weekly Men's Health show, provided me with some comfort as i battled my own demons. There were many parallels between his story and mine, which intensified my link with Spud. So much of what was in him, I saw in myself.

Well, how do i start my story? I guess the key moment that transcends everything, is the loss of my friend Amanda 15 years ago. She was my gf's best friend. As a baby(chinese), her mother sold her to a rich indian family, to be raised as a maid. As she got older, her father grew to love her incredibly, and treated her like one of his own. On the other hand, her adoptive mother and siblings never accepted her, and picked on her relentlessly. When she was 12, her father had a heart attack and died. In his will, he divided everything equally among all his kids, 20 million each.

Her share was placed with a 3rd party trust, and basically from that moment, her adoptive mother tried everything, to make sure she never saw a cent. Within months she was kicked out of the house, nowhere to go and no family to turn to. Her best friend(my ex gf) took her in for awhile. When she turned 14, she moved out and started living with different guys. I think she just craved a male father figure in her life and ppl took advantage of that.

When I met her, she was 19. By this time, she'd found a lawyer to help fight her family for her rightful share of the inheritance. Within weeks, I asked her to come stay with me as I couldn't stand how guys were treating her. For more than a year, we slept together in that same small bed in that same small room. There was never any hint of a sexual relationship, she was literally my little sister. I followed her to many court appearances, and each time her case would get postponed, leaving her in perpetual limbo.

Later on, she was able to get some funds released, so she could go to uni. And, there was enough so she could get her own place on campus. Most weekends though she'd be back at my place.

Anyway, a couple of years passed, we were still very close. One day, my ex-gf and her had an argument, and they stopped talking. As usual, I refused to get involved. She messaged and called me a few times over the next few days, I said I'd get back to her, but never did. Well, after a bad day in court, when money for her fees was delayed once again, she just had enough. She swallowed over 100 different pills and that was it. We didn't find out until a week later, by this time her adopted family had collected her body and cremated her. I tried and tried to find out where her remains were so i could say goodbye, but they refused to tell me.

I just miss my sister, and i want to be with her. It breaks my heart thinking she died alone and even now i have no idea where her remains are. I've never forgiven myself for what happened and i never will. Counselling, therapy, etc, all have no effect. Over the years, in my search for peace and closure, I've covered anything and everything. From dozens of books about the afterlife, to different religions, even to such 'alternatives' as witchdoctors, shamans, ghosts, etc. Each of these is a story in itself.

And, from the day she died, I promised myself, to never turn down a friend when they needed me, no matter what. Even if they were taking advantage of me, and i knew it, id rather be cheated than go through anything like that again.

For the next 15 yrs, that's been how I've lived my life. Although, to say it's just that incident that defines my character would be unfair, as there's so much more.

Wow, I just realised I've rambled on a bit and there's still plenty I haven't touched on, including my history of anxiety and everything else. I'll take a break, and continue shortly.
Hopefully you can find some solace among friends.

You're the second poster who has had that happen to them, and like them you can't blame yourself and carry that burden.
 

St Muir

Team Captain
Oct 18, 2018
563
2,127
AFL Club
St Kilda
Hi everyone, this is long overdue. Huge respects to all who've already posted. Because of you, many will now find courage to tell their own stories. I apologise if my post is all over the shop, there's a lot im revealing, so bear with me.

When I heard Spud had passed, my initial reaction was one of shock. He was captain when I first started following St Kilda, and since then, he's been a constant fixture in my life, whether it's on screen or on the radio. In recent years, he became much more than that. Listening to his weekly Men's Health show, provided me with some comfort as i battled my own demons. There were many parallels between his story and mine, which intensified my link with Spud. So much of what was in him, I saw in myself.

Well, how do i start my story? I guess the key moment that transcends everything, is the loss of my friend Amanda 15 years ago. She was my gf's best friend. As a baby(chinese), her mother sold her to a rich indian family, to be raised as a maid. As she got older, her father grew to love her incredibly, and treated her like one of his own. On the other hand, her adoptive mother and siblings never accepted her, and picked on her relentlessly. When she was 12, her father had a heart attack and died. In his will, he divided everything equally among all his kids, 20 million each.

Her share was placed with a 3rd party trust, and basically from that moment, her adoptive mother tried everything, to make sure she never saw a cent. Within months she was kicked out of the house, nowhere to go and no family to turn to. Her best friend(my ex gf) took her in for awhile. When she turned 14, she moved out and started living with different guys. I think she just craved a male father figure in her life and ppl took advantage of that.

When I met her, she was 19. By this time, she'd found a lawyer to help fight her family for her rightful share of the inheritance. Within weeks, I asked her to come stay with me as I couldn't stand how guys were treating her. For more than a year, we slept together in that same small bed in that same small room. There was never any hint of a sexual relationship, she was literally my little sister. I followed her to many court appearances, and each time her case would get postponed, leaving her in perpetual limbo.

Later on, she was able to get some funds released, so she could go to uni. And, there was enough so she could get her own place on campus. Most weekends though she'd be back at my place.

Anyway, a couple of years passed, we were still very close. One day, my ex-gf and her had an argument, and they stopped talking. As usual, I refused to get involved. She messaged and called me a few times over the next few days, I said I'd get back to her, but never did. Well, after a bad day in court, when money for her fees was delayed once again, she just had enough. She swallowed over 100 different pills and that was it. We didn't find out until a week later, by this time her adopted family had collected her body and cremated her. I tried and tried to find out where her remains were so i could say goodbye, but they refused to tell me.

I just miss my sister, and i want to be with her. It breaks my heart thinking she died alone and even now i have no idea where her remains are. I've never forgiven myself for what happened and i never will. Counselling, therapy, etc, all have no effect. Over the years, in my search for peace and closure, I've covered anything and everything. From dozens of books about the afterlife, to different religions, even to such 'alternatives' as witchdoctors, shamans, ghosts, etc. Each of these is a story in itself.

And, from the day she died, I promised myself, to never turn down a friend when they needed me, no matter what. Even if they were taking advantage of me, and i knew it, id rather be cheated than go through anything like that again.

For the next 15 yrs, that's been how I've lived my life. Although, to say it's just that incident that defines my character would be unfair, as there's so much more.

Wow, I just realised I've rambled on a bit and there's still plenty I haven't touched on, including my history of anxiety and everything else. I'll take a break, and continue shortly.
That’s a very poignant story mate. You acted with great human compassion in helping this young lady in the first place. Many would have turned their backs or worse exploited her. You took her in, treated her with dignity and respect and gave her a fighting chance.
When it comes to mental illness and/or suicide we all carry irrational guilt. We have to find a way of stepping out of that or at least channeling it into something positive. You’ve shown the courage to that. Well done mate.
Thanks for posting this, I’m looking forward to the rest of your story when you feel up to it.
 

VDS66

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 4, 2011
21,166
54,857
AFL Club
St Kilda
Good to see this thread being alive, disheartening at the same time because it's due to a loss of a loved legend.
I've been speaking to a few people in my circle into possible initiatives to support others.

I'm happy to admit that I've come through the darkness but it doesn't take much to trigger a relapse. Mostly good days, but still some bad days.

In a way, some of the stories give me strength when I see that others have gone through much worse.

I have also trained myself to switch of, compartmentalise feelings, which is OK as a coping mechanism, it conflicts with who I am as a person.

I think the points raised by Austinnn were quite poignant in terms of the expectations placed on husbands and fathers to provide, and the link that has to their self esteem and self worth.

My personal circumstances? It was an affliction I was never aware of apart from a tendency to sleep and withdraw leading to a self destructing tendency with relationships.

9/11 caused us to drop over 3/4 million in the USA stock market, but it took my father's death in 2007 and the ensuing family issues to bring it to the surface and admit there was a problem. Then it all made sense regarding past behaviours.

I'm pretty lucky that you can make the money back, but the challenges of guilt and worthiness because you have failed your family, whilst enormous, are nothing compared to those of you who have lost someone through suicide.

You can make money but you can't bring a person back.

Perhaps the saddest part is that it's easier to share the burden on a forum with a bunch of strangers, but you can't often do it with those close to you because they just don't get it unless they have also suffered.

Is there a solution? I can't honestly say there is.

Medication helps. But I have had to make profound life changes to get through it.

Love to all. There's plenty to be grateful for.
 

VDS66

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 4, 2011
21,166
54,857
AFL Club
St Kilda
Good to see this thread being alive, disheartening at the same time because it's due to a loss of a loved legend.
Someone once said to me that if you really want to know how badly society is tracking, take a look at the first few pages of the white pages.

Then it dawned on me that is was full of support numbers to call.

That was over 30 years ago.
 

St Muir

Team Captain
Oct 18, 2018
563
2,127
AFL Club
St Kilda
I've been speaking to a few people in my circle into possible initiatives to support others.

I'm happy to admit that I've come through the darkness but it doesn't take much to trigger a relapse. Mostly good days, but still some bad days.

In a way, some of the stories give me strength when I see that others have gone through much worse.

I have also trained myself to switch of, compartmentalise feelings, which is OK as a coping mechanism, it conflicts with who I am as a person.

I think the points raised by Austinnn were quite poignant in terms of the expectations placed on husbands and fathers to provide, and the link that has to their self esteem and self worth.

My personal circumstances? It was an affliction I was never aware of apart from a tendency to sleep and withdraw leading to a self destructing tendency with relationships.

9/11 caused us to drop over 3/4 million in the USA stock market, but it took my father's death in 2007 and the ensuing family issues to bring it to the surface and admit there was a problem. Then it all made sense regarding past behaviours.

I'm pretty lucky that you can make the money back, but the challenges of guilt and worthiness because you have failed your family, whilst enormous, are nothing compared to those of you who have lost someone through suicide.

You can make money but you can't bring a person back.

Perhaps the saddest part is that it's easier to share the burden on a forum with a bunch of strangers, but you can't often do it with those close to you because they just don't get it unless they have also suffered.

Is there a solution? I can't honestly say there is.

Medication helps. But I have had to make profound life changes to get through it.

Love to all. There's plenty to be grateful for.
Thanks for telling your story mate, I've been waiting for it! As you alluded to there can be money costs but the over-riding cost is the human one, not only to the person battling mental illness (depression) but those around them. That damage to relationships to those close to you can often be terminal. BT literally had me in tears telling how he lost his family.
It's fascinating how many different paths led us to that one outcome of a chemical imbalance in the brain & the devastating consequences it brings.
Whether it's just because more people are willing to talk about it but it seems to me that depression in particular is becoming more common place. Maybe a solution can be found when we work out the cause? It seems to be more prevalent in Australia than many Asian countries for example. My gut feel (with nothing to support it) is the break down of extended family and/or religious belief may be the cause or heavy contributors. Intellectually, I'm not committed to either but I feel very strongly our society took a wrong turn somewhere and as a collective we lost purpose.
 

VDS66

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 4, 2011
21,166
54,857
AFL Club
St Kilda
Thanks for telling your story mate, I've been waiting for it! As you alluded to there can be money costs but the over-riding cost is the human one, not only to the person battling mental illness (depression) but those around them. That damage to relationships to those close to you can often be terminal. BT literally had me in tears telling how he lost his family.
It's fascinating how many different paths led us to that one outcome of a chemical imbalance in the brain & the devastating consequences it brings.
Whether it's just because more people are willing to talk about it but it seems to me that depression in particular is becoming more common place. Maybe a solution can be found when we work out the cause? It seems to be more prevalent in Australia than many Asian countries for example. My gut feel (with nothing to support it) is the break down of extended family and/or religious belief may be the cause or heavy contributors. Intellectually, I'm not committed to either but I feel very strongly our society took a wrong turn somewhere and as a collective we lost purpose.
Your guess is as good as mine.

I've actually cut ties with my side of the family for 12 years and I don't have any regrets. Trying to make it work was just to detrimental and my focus is my wife and kids.

My personal changes have included:

Understand oneself, be honest and be willing to admit mistakes.

Cut off negative people who appear or may mean well, but basically either want to keep you at their level or simply can't get their s**t together (mainly victim mentality).

Stopped drinking.

Financially, I have converted to minimalism. I still enjoy a comfortable standard of living, but do so on a smaller income and working less hours.

Most importantly, is the realisation that we are here for a purpose and we have an.obligation to leave joint better than we find it.

Bottom line: find your purpose and pursue it. You cannot change the past. You need to forgive yourself and ease the guilt or it will consume you.

It would be arrogant to suggest I know the answers for the simple reason that whilst I can relate, each person's burden is theirs alone.

As for why, it's probably a combo of the reasons you suggest. My gut feel is that western society has become too focussed on materialism and the perpetual treadmill it creates

I also don't like the way your job defines you or your address defines you.

I have worked on the Noble Park and Dandenong areas and I have been blessed to have met some of the best people ever.

There's too much focus on the me and not enough on the we.
 

Keg on legs

Premium Gold
Oct 5, 2014
14,836
49,303
The beer fridge
AFL Club
St Kilda
Hi everyone, this is long overdue. Huge respects to all who've already posted. Because of you, many will now find courage to tell their own stories. I apologise if my post is all over the shop, there's a lot im revealing, so bear with me.

When I heard Spud had passed, my initial reaction was one of shock. He was captain when I first started following St Kilda, and since then, he's been a constant fixture in my life, whether it's on screen or on the radio. In recent years, he became much more than that. Listening to his weekly Men's Health show, provided me with some comfort as i battled my own demons. There were many parallels between his story and mine, which intensified my link with Spud. So much of what was in him, I saw in myself.

Well, how do i start my story? I guess the key moment that transcends everything, is the loss of my friend Amanda 15 years ago. She was my gf's best friend. As a baby(chinese), her mother sold her to a rich indian family, to be raised as a maid. As she got older, her father grew to love her incredibly, and treated her like one of his own. On the other hand, her adoptive mother and siblings never accepted her, and picked on her relentlessly. When she was 12, her father had a heart attack and died. In his will, he divided everything equally among all his kids, 20 million each.

Her share was placed with a 3rd party trust, and basically from that moment, her adoptive mother tried everything, to make sure she never saw a cent. Within months she was kicked out of the house, nowhere to go and no family to turn to. Her best friend(my ex gf) took her in for awhile. When she turned 14, she moved out and started living with different guys. I think she just craved a male father figure in her life and ppl took advantage of that.

When I met her, she was 19. By this time, she'd found a lawyer to help fight her family for her rightful share of the inheritance. Within weeks, I asked her to come stay with me as I couldn't stand how guys were treating her. For more than a year, we slept together in that same small bed in that same small room. There was never any hint of a sexual relationship, she was literally my little sister. I followed her to many court appearances, and each time her case would get postponed, leaving her in perpetual limbo.

Later on, she was able to get some funds released, so she could go to uni. And, there was enough so she could get her own place on campus. Most weekends though she'd be back at my place.

Anyway, a couple of years passed, we were still very close. One day, my ex-gf and her had an argument, and they stopped talking. As usual, I refused to get involved. She messaged and called me a few times over the next few days, I said I'd get back to her, but never did. Well, after a bad day in court, when money for her fees was delayed once again, she just had enough. She swallowed over 100 different pills and that was it. We didn't find out until a week later, by this time her adopted family had collected her body and cremated her. I tried and tried to find out where her remains were so i could say goodbye, but they refused to tell me.

I just miss my sister, and i want to be with her. It breaks my heart thinking she died alone and even now i have no idea where her remains are. I've never forgiven myself for what happened and i never will. Counselling, therapy, etc, all have no effect. Over the years, in my search for peace and closure, I've covered anything and everything. From dozens of books about the afterlife, to different religions, even to such 'alternatives' as witchdoctors, shamans, ghosts, etc. Each of these is a story in itself.

And, from the day she died, I promised myself, to never turn down a friend when they needed me, no matter what. Even if they were taking advantage of me, and i knew it, id rather be cheated than go through anything like that again.

For the next 15 yrs, that's been how I've lived my life. Although, to say it's just that incident that defines my character would be unfair, as there's so much more.

Wow, I just realised I've rambled on a bit and there's still plenty I haven't touched on, including my history of anxiety and everything else. I'll take a break, and continue shortly.
Thanks for sharing brother. For every one of you who share your story I think it helps others in their own space.

Same goes for you VDS66. Well done on sharing brother

Always happy to take a PM at any time.
 

Indie Rock

Club Legend
Apr 2, 2018
1,398
6,325
AFL Club
St Kilda
Your guess is as good as mine.

I've actually cut ties with my side of the family for 12 years and I don't have any regrets. Trying to make it work was just to detrimental and my focus is my wife and kids.

My personal changes have included:

Understand oneself, be honest and be willing to admit mistakes.

Cut off negative people who appear or may mean well, but basically either want to keep you at their level or simply can't get their s**t together (mainly victim mentality).

Stopped drinking.

Financially, I have converted to minimalism. I still enjoy a comfortable standard of living, but do so on a smaller income and working less hours.

Most importantly, is the realisation that we are here for a purpose and we have an.obligation to leave joint better than we find it.

Bottom line: find your purpose and pursue it. You cannot change the past. You need to forgive yourself and ease the guilt or it will consume you.

It would be arrogant to suggest I know the answers for the simple reason that whilst I can relate, each person's burden is theirs alone.

As for why, it's probably a combo of the reasons you suggest. My gut feel is that western society has become too focussed on materialism and the perpetual treadmill it creates

I also don't like the way your job defines you or your address defines you.

I have worked on the Noble Park and Dandenong areas and I have been blessed to have met some of the best people ever.

There's too much focus on the me and not enough on the we.
I watch this video whenever I find myself stressing out over things that shouldn’t matter and chasing things I don’t really want or need:

 

Drake Huggins

Club Legend
May 2, 2018
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The ghost of the G.G. Huggins Stand
AFL Club
St Kilda
Other Teams
Stoke City, Southampton.
I've now realised why you posted this here. **** this is an insidious disease. I feel so sorry for Danny & his family.
It is the worst, St. Muir. It affects the executive controller of your entire being, your brain and therefore your mind and consciousness. It destroys hope and alienates you from reality, loved ones and intimate environment.

I've wrestled with it for three decades. It is like a pack of Kenyan marathon runners. It never gives up and its mission is to wear you down into submission.

It's why I have dedicated my life to studying it and providing suoport to sufferers. Getting it under control is one of the most satisfying achievements imaginable, for sufferers and supporters alike.

It is never fully cured. The best you can hope for is long periods of remission. Once you've had a bout, you're more likely to have more. Three or more dooms you to the possibility of chronic episodes.

I hope a legacy of Danny's tragedy is the continuation of building understanding of the condition and greater empathy and support of victims.

Bless everyone on this site for their interest, empathy amd compassion. For those who may be suffering, PM me if you need help. Even a brief chat can make an enormous difference. Onwards and upwards. Keep punching!

Cheers
Drake Huggins
🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👊👊👊
 

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