Opinion Mental Illness, my point of view and you

[iBeng]

Probably, but then you wake up feeling worse.The cycle starts again. I am in control now and have never missed a days work etc but fook it is hard sometimes.

It is, we naturally seek anything that can take away pain and misery. Its a human nature, fight and flight once again. Youve done a fantastic thing beating it.

Sometimes I just remind myself that the very nature of the universe is chaos, we literally have very little control over anything, but we can eventually tame our own thoughts if we know how.

 

[Alesana]

It’s a topic that is really hard to talk about for some. And I think a large group of people still make it hard.

I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for about 15 years, and it still amazes me how much empathy people lack about it. Yesterday I was talking to a client and he said “stress and all that stuff are just in your head. They’re not real. So they’re not real problems. You just make them up”

I think the biggest thing is learning to help yourself. Slowly working through it, but I gave up footy due to it. Found work hard (I run my own business and it’s still tough in my industry. I have to be “on” and happy at all times). People don’t realise how it impacts just about every part of your life

I’ve stopped talking to most of my old mates, half due to their lack of care, half due to them getting angry at me ditching social functions. It is what it is

Good on you for opening up mate and all the best in your journey

I also gave up footy because of anxiety. I was in my element during the game, but once the siren sounded I wanted to get out of there asap. You were expected to hang around and attend functions weekly and that scared the s**t out of me, which is ultimately why I stopped playing

 

[gingernuts]

It is, we naturally seek anything that can take away pain and misery. Its a human nature, fight and flight once again. Youve done a fantastic thing beating it.

Sometimes I just remind myself that the very nature of the universe is chaos, we literally have very little control over anything, but we can eventually tame our own thoughts if we know how.

thanks

 

[fallout11]

Long time sufferer. So is my alcohol addiction causing my mental health issues or is my mental health issue causing my alcohol addiction? I think the later?

I have had addiction problems with alcohol and drugs, particularly marijuana. I know for a fact with me however I started using to mask/cope with my developing depression, anxiety and my (at the time) somewhat directionless life. But, when I was using daily (up to 2 ounces a week at my peak/worst) was when my depression and anxiety increased considerably and was v much exasperated these problems.

Everyone is different though

 

[iBeng]

I also gave up footy because of anxiety. I was in my element during the game, but once the siren sounded I wanted to get out of there asap. You were expected to hang around and attend functions weekly and that scared the s**t out of me, which is ultimately why I stopped playing

The worse part is when people dont understand the reasoning and try to tell you you just need to get yourself out there. Those people, nothing against them, but they have circumstances in their lives that have allowed them to naturally walk through life without a care. They say you should learn to make confidence, fake it till you make it, and many do that, but for much of us its just not that easy.

 

[Demontim275]

I also gave up footy because of anxiety. I was in my element during the game, but once the siren sounded I wanted to get out of there asap. You were expected to hang around and attend functions weekly and that scared the s**t out of me, which is ultimately why I stopped playing

I’d never played footy before and grew up as a fat kid. Fit now. But every day of training or a game I’d have extreme anxiety. I was frightened of ******* up the whole time I was out there. I felt everyone was watching and mocking my every move.
I was terrible on field for the most part. Because I was just s**t scared out there. So anxious of failing. It ended up making me fail. Got dropped. Had people at functions get pissed and tell me I’m the worst footballer they’ve ever seen.
Made me hate football so I just left. My last game was in a 150 point win. I faked an injury at half time and left the game almost in tears.

 

[gingernuts]

It’s a topic that is really hard to talk about for some. And I think a large group of people still make it hard.

I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for about 15 years, and it still amazes me how much empathy people lack about it. Yesterday I was talking to a client and he said “stress and all that stuff are just in your head. They’re not real. So they’re not real problems. You just make them up”

I think the biggest thing is learning to help yourself. Slowly working through it, but I gave up footy due to it. Found work hard (I run my own business and it’s still tough in my industry. I have to be “on” and happy at all times). People don’t realise how it impacts just about every part of your life

I’ve stopped talking to most of my old mates, half due to their lack of care, half due to them getting angry at me ditching social functions. It is what it is

Good on you for opening up mate and all the best in your journey

I look back and I reckon I had major issues with anxiety when 12-13 I am now 60. went through life hiding it all. good point you make about ditching mates, I did the same which I really regret but at the time I just wanted to be on my own. My best mate did not know how to contact me for 18 months. I eventually rang him and now talk 3-4 times a week about all sorts of stuff. I should have kept all my mates. Luckily I have a loving ex, kids and grandies

 

[fallout11]

Would you be using the alcohol to COPE with the mental health problems you have? We all seek escapes from it, and alcohol is a cheap and easily accessible path to that.

My dad actually told me when I was 16 that if I was "Feeling down" just go buy a six pack and have a drink. Looking back now, that is just...disgusting fatherly advice.

My crutch to escape my issues is to play online gaming where I can be whatever I want to be: I have more control. Some choose more control some choose to let go of control.

What games? Cod ww2 war mode is mine.

I have had a stint in rehab and one of the mentors told the group that for him he was able to alleviate his alcoholism by no longer fighting it. I didn't understand it at the time but do now, again everybody is different, different methods help different ppl in different situations.

As plenty have said, exercise, good nutrition, cutting out toxic 'friends' and influences, therapy and medication helps. I have found that meditation has helped me considerably as well, helps to both clear the mind and help focus it on positive thoughts and actions rather than negative.

 

[Alesana]

I’d never played footy before and grew up as a fat kid. Fit now. But every day of training or a game I’d have extreme anxiety. I was frightened of ******* up the whole time I was out there. I felt everyone was watching and mocking my every move.
I was terrible on field for the most part. Because I was just s**t scared out there. So anxious of failing. It ended up making me fail. Got dropped. Had people at functions get pi**ed and tell me I’m the worst footballer they’ve ever seen.
Made me hate football so I just left. My last game was in a 150 point win. I faked an injury at half time and left the game almost in tears.

Geez, my fifth last game was a grand final win and I went straight home while everyone kicked on all night.

 

[Demontim275]

I look back and I reckon I had major issues with anxiety when 12-13 I am now 60. went through life hiding it all. good point you make about ditching mates, I did the same which I really regret but at the time I just wanted to be on my own. My best mate did not know how to contact me for 18 months. I eventually rang him and now talk 3-4 times a week about all sorts of stuff. I should have kept all my mates. Luckily I have a loving ex, kids and grandies

I think most of them were bad for me.
I almost ended it on New Year’s Eve. My missus and my dog were all that stopped me.
I told my two best mates at the time and got the usual “we are here if you need anything”
Hadn’t seen them in months prior to that. Didn’t hear from them again for montha
My missus ended up messaging them without me knowing asking them to put in effort. They cracked it at her, told her they do so much for me and they’re constantly texting me but I never reply (which was a huge lie).
Realised that maybe it was just time to cut it all and start again

 

[Demontim275]

Geez, my fifth last game was a grand final win and I went straight home while everyone kicked on all night.

Yeah I know that feeling. I didn’t sing the song. Pretended to need to leave straight away and just went home alone.
Chatted with my wife about it and decided I’d give it up for the time.

 

[fallout11]

I think most of them were bad for me.
I almost ended it on New Year’s Eve. My missus and my dog were all that stopped me.
I told my two best mates at the time and got the usual “we are here if you need anything”
Hadn’t seen them in months prior to that. Didn’t hear from them again for montha
My missus ended up messaging them without me knowing asking them to put in effort. They cracked it at her, told her they do so much for me and they’re constantly texting me but I never reply (which was a huge lie).
Realised that maybe it was just time to cut it all and start again

Super happy you didn't mate!! As hopefully you can see, there are LOTS of people who do care and who are more than willing to help. Cutting out some friends can and is hard so much kudos to u mate!

 

[iBeng]

What games? Cod ww2 war mode is mine.

I have had a stint in rehab and one of the mentors told the group that for him he was able to alleviate his alcoholism by no longer fighting it. I didn't understand it at the time but do now, again everybody is different, different methods help different ppl in different situations.

As plenty have said, exercise, good nutrition, cutting out toxic 'friends' and influences, therapy and medication helps. I have found that meditation has helped me considerably as well, helps to both clear the mind and help focus it on positive thoughts and actions rather than negative.

World of Warcraft has always been my crutch. Played hardcore until the end of the third expansion then marriage and a child changed my priorities, but the game gave me confidence because I was good at it.

My parents did their best to ban me from it.

 

[gingernuts]

I think most of them were bad for me.
I almost ended it on New Year’s Eve. My missus and my dog were all that stopped me.
I told my two best mates at the time and got the usual “we are here if you need anything”
Hadn’t seen them in months prior to that. Didn’t hear from them again for montha
My missus ended up messaging them without me knowing asking them to put in effort. They cracked it at her, told her they do so much for me and they’re constantly texting me but I never reply (which was a huge lie).
Realised that maybe it was just time to cut it all and start again

fair enough mate, I think you probs got a good missus so look after her.

 

[beema limapep]

Long time sufferer. So is my alcohol addiction causing my mental health issues or is my mental health issue causing my alcohol addiction? I think the later?

In my non medical opinion you are using alcohol to subconsciously cope with your mental health issues. its one of the worse things because although it conciously gives you a reprieve when you feel the affects of being half cut/pissed, it amplifies a range of brain chemistry issues which make things 4x to 5x harder, let alone laying the short path towards addiction and interpersonal issues.

Its alot of ongoing work and brutally tough. Dont drink.

 

[Macpotata]

Good post. Balls of Steel.

 

[Macpotata]

I've had it, still have it. Will have it for life. But I've learnt how to deal with it, and not let it affect my life in negative ways. I use it to stengthen me now.. For example.. if I'm sitting around sinking into a depression hole and feeling like crap, I'll say f it.. I'm going to the gym.. I won't want to go to the gym, and I probably won't enjoy being there, but actually going and doing it and pushing myself beyond that invisible wall makes me feel like a different person when I'm finished.. like a feeling of victory.

One thing I am getting sick of though.. is people using it, when they don't actually have it.

Example is these AFL players having time off and declaring mental illness. Then they are back after 2 weeks and we never hear of it again from them. It just cheapens the reality of people who DO suffer from it. Now, I'm not saying that NO AFL player has it. Many would. But I know there are some that have been declared as mentally ill, and really it's just covering up some other matter... relationship breakdown, alcohol issues, recreational drugs, etc.... these can be mental illness related.. IE a hardcore alcoholic or drug addict that has gear to suppress mental demons.. but a guy going out on some benders with his mates and getting pi**ed, then unable to turn up to training is not mental illness. It's just a guy acting like a dick head. The worst part about it is rarely do any of these guys do anything positive for the cause. They literally disappear for a few weeks, coach declares mental illness, then he is back like nothing happened. These guys are in the spotlight.. if they do have serious afflictions, they should be getting out there and helping to raise awareness... as they have gone through it themselves, or so they say.

Another good post.

And why I love Adam Treloar. He did what you asked, another one with massive balls of steel.

 

[TripleJay]

Great post.
A point I would add which I think grants good perspective is that people throughout history did not worship religions, create world explaining philosophy and science because they were content or life was dandy(the old life is suffering chestnut). No it was a brutal struggle and these people adapted accordingly. I think as a current society we need to get beyond this current idea of "sterilising" our minds of all the uncomfortable/uncertain bits, fixing ourselves as such, it's not going to happen, we are the good and "bad" parts of ourselves. That being said just because less ideal parts of our minds will always exist, doesn't mean we shouldn't use reason, sense and social relationships to mitigate the disorder or unpleasant experience they may generate.

 

[MightyTiger]

When I had therapy last year my doctor told me this was my basic problem. I did this thing where, and it sounds like I have voices in my head but I dont, I would narrate everyone around me and what they thought of me. At work, in the car, social events. All that stuff. Basically the Demon I mentioned was having a good little yack to me in the back of my head. I dont use the term Demon for religious reasons, it can be literally any form of creature you wish.

The doctor gave me two things to aim for: Make my own sort of mental island that only Im on. Then I dont see the other peoples 'thoughts' so to speak. Secondly, work on making a sort of personal mind bubble to stop my thoughts straying. Literally tame my own insecurity and anxiety as much as I can. It has helped so far, I still tend to avoid big social get togethers and ive never been big on close friendships, had too many early bad experiences.

Experience is the big thing as well, everything that happens to you between the ages of 5 to 12/13 is what sets your world view, how you interact and how people interact with you. There are other factors, but thats your core personality building. I unfortunately had parents who used that time to tell me things like "I was an accident" or "You do things to effeminately, you should be a girl/gay" and at the time they burrowed in but in my 20s they surfaced with a vengeance and messed me up hardcore.

At the end of the day all we all are is the sum of our experiences in life, without that we would be just eating/sleeping machines.

Look up something called Pure OCD and see if it relates to you.

My therapist diagnosed me with severe depression/anxiety and OCD. It wasn't until this year maybe 5-6 years since I had my breakdown did I learn about something called Pure OCD. I honestly cried as soon as I realised that there are other people who were going through and having the same issues that I was having. For me the depression/anxiety are things I can kind of control, diet, work, how much stress I'm putting on myself etc. But the biggest thing for me were the secondary thoughts popping up in my head that I knew wasn't me.

And like others have said, if anybody is having any issues whatsoever, please do go speak to someone.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

 

[JohnnyFontane90]

I've had it, still have it. Will have it for life. But I've learnt how to deal with it, and not let it affect my life in negative ways. I use it to stengthen me now.. For example.. if I'm sitting around sinking into a depression hole and feeling like crap, I'll say f it.. I'm going to the gym.. I won't want to go to the gym, and I probably won't enjoy being there, but actually going and doing it and pushing myself beyond that invisible wall makes me feel like a different person when I'm finished.. like a feeling of victory.

One thing I am getting sick of though.. is people using it, when they don't actually have it.

Example is these AFL players having time off and declaring mental illness. Then they are back after 2 weeks and we never hear of it again from them. It just cheapens the reality of people who DO suffer from it. Now, I'm not saying that NO AFL player has it. Many would. But I know there are some that have been declared as mentally ill, and really it's just covering up some other matter... relationship breakdown, alcohol issues, recreational drugs, etc.... these can be mental illness related.. IE a hardcore alcoholic or drug addict that has gear to suppress mental demons.. but a guy going out on some benders with his mates and getting pi**ed, then unable to turn up to training is not mental illness. It's just a guy acting like a dick head. The worst part about it is rarely do any of these guys do anything positive for the cause. They literally disappear for a few weeks, coach declares mental illness, then he is back like nothing happened. These guys are in the spotlight.. if they do have serious afflictions, they should be getting out there and helping to raise awareness... as they have gone through it themselves, or so they say.

I think what you're referring to when players take time off etc is 'mental heath' not 'mental illness'. There's plenty of clinical evidence to help us understand mental illness (depression, chronic anxiety etc) but the grey area of managing mental health is something that we're still learning about.

Sometimes pressure of life/stress etc can get a bit overwhelming and when that happens it's perfectly fine to take time out to slow down and clear the head. After all if you hurt your foot you'd make an effort to walk less until it recovers. Same thing with the mind. It doesn't mean they have an illness but by the same token that shouldn't diminish it's seriousness.

At the moment i think people use mental illness when they mean mental health because i don't think we as a society take mental health management that seriously yet.