Mind Games.... (ggggrrrrr)

[BluesBabe666]

I am sick and tired of playing these mind games in relationships - its like a vicious (sp?) circle, once one party starts, the other party cant help but start and then its on!!

Bloody boys... i am going to have a full on whinge here!!

Texting and calling in the middle of the night after being out on the **** and whatever else with the boys, knocking on your door, hello!! So you dont let them in because you think, "stuff him, he didnt invite me out with him, so bad luck, he can see me another time". (i think this is totally fair, what do you think?)

He cracks the sads and doesnt contact you for two days then rings and tells you he forgives you for not letting him in your house at 5 in the morning... HELLO?!?! Am i being unreasonable??? GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I swear, if a boy likes someone, they should treat them well and with respect. I know there are some women out there who suck as well, but honestly i am at the end of my tether. I dont want to not answer certain calls and ignore text messages just because the other person is doing it in the sulks....

He gets invited over Friday to watch videos, but he says he hasnt decided if he is going out or not with the boys. Fine, ok, its up to him. I make plans Saturday night and Sunday night, then he cracks the ****s when he has to go away during the week and he hasnt seen me... hello, why the hell does he just assume i have nothing better to do than wait around for his call? Hello, i have a life, i have friends, is it too much to ask that he checks what i am doing over the weekend before assuming i am at his beck and call?!?!

I know this makes no sense at all just had to vent ok... ta.

 

[Sly77]

Play with boys and you'll only get burnt dear

 

[CowboyFromHell]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666
I am sick and tired of playing these mind games in relationships - its like a vicious (sp?) circle, once one party starts, the other party cant help but start and then its on!!

Bloody boys... i am going to have a full on whinge here!!

Texting and calling in the middle of the night after being out on the **** and whatever else with the boys, knocking on your door, hello!! So you dont let them in because you think, "stuff him, he didnt invite me out with him, so bad luck, he can see me another time". (i think this is totally fair, what do you think?)

He cracks the sads and doesnt contact you for two days then rings and tells you he forgives you for not letting him in your house at 5 in the morning... HELLO?!?! Am i being unreasonable??? GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I swear, if a boy likes someone, they should treat them well and with respect. I know there are some women out there who suck as well, but honestly i am at the end of my tether. I dont want to not answer certain calls and ignore text messages just because the other person is doing it in the sulks....

He gets invited over Friday to watch videos, but he says he hasnt decided if he is going out or not with the boys. Fine, ok, its up to him. I make plans Saturday night and Sunday night, then he cracks the ****s when he has to go away during the week and he hasnt seen me... hello, why the hell does he just assume i have nothing better to do than wait around for his call? Hello, i have a life, i have friends, is it too much to ask that he checks what i am doing over the weekend before assuming i am at his beck and call?!?!

I know this makes no sense at all just had to vent ok... ta.

I think you have a fair case there, and a reason to whinge.

I think it's important for people to still have a life outside of their boyfriend/girlfriend, in that there is an allowance to do things with their friends. But when your boyfriend (is he?) does what he wants, then cracks the ****s when you do it, something must be wrong.

I guess all you can do is chat to him. It's never 100% someone's fault, but your not doing much wrong here. All I can suggest is talk to him about it, and if he doesnt' want a bar of it, give him the flick. He doesn't seem worth it.

 

[topdon]

Re: Re: Mind Games.... (ggggrrrrr)

Originally posted by CowboyFromHell

I think it's important for people to still have a life outside of their boyfriend/girlfriend, in that there is an allowance to do things with their friends. But when your boyfriend (is he?) does what he wants, then cracks the ****s when you do it, something must be wrong.

My sister does this to her boyfriend and it ****es me off to no end!!! She feels the need to control him ... tell him what he can and can't do. But when it comes to herself, she can do whatever she wants and her boyfriend just has to get over it!

How does that work??

Could never date a girl with an attitude like that!! I'm not the clingy or jealous type ... would obviously like spending time with my girlfriend ... but not at the expense of her own social life. You can find a balance ... its easy to obtain. Its just that some chicks (and guys i suppose) have to feel that they are in total control of the relationship. That isn't right IMO.

 

[CowboyFromHell]

Re: Re: Re: Mind Games.... (ggggrrrrr)

Originally posted by topdon


My sister does this to her boyfriend and it ****es me off to no end!!! She feels the need to control him ... tell him what he can and can't do. But when it comes to herself, she can do whatever she wants and her boyfriend just has to get over it!

How does that work??

Could never date a girl with an attitude like that!! I'm not the clingy or jealous type ... would obviously like spending time with my girlfriend ... but not at the expense of her own social life. You can find a balance ... its easy to obtain. Its just that some chicks (and guys i suppose) have to feel that they are in total control of the relationship. That isn't right IMO.

I don't like people who do that either! In the end it's not really worth it.

My girlfriend and myself live a fair bit apart, but we allow each other to do the things we want, when we want. But we have an agreement to call each night, and see each other as much as possible and when we do, that's the only plans we make.

But if I was your sister's boyfriend, I'd give her the ass quick smart! No offence, but at this point in time, she obviously isn't worth it. She's probably a nice girl and all, but doesn't know anything about treatig someone properly.

 

[BluesBabe666]

I know!!! I am not clingy at all, i love my time alone with the girls and dont care about boys nights, weekends, etc... but i dont see why if he goes out with the boys, he thinks he can come stay at my place. He made a decision to go out with the boys, that should be the end of it... otherwise he is getting his cake and eating it too and we dont even live together!! He says its ok if i go out with the girls and then go back to his place (like at 4am) but what i dont understand is, why cant he make a sacrifice if he wants to see me? And i dont mind going out with the boys either if i am invited but i wont be the last minute stop off on the way home!!!!!

 

[topdon]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Mind Games.... (ggggrrrrr)

Originally posted by CowboyFromHell

But if I was your sister's boyfriend, I'd give her the ass quick smart! No offence, but at this point in time, she obviously isn't worth it. She's probably a nice girl and all, but doesn't know anything about treatig someone properly.

Mate i would too. He almost did a couple of weeks ago ... he was fuming with her ... then he chickened out after my sis buttered him up! Its obvious who wears the pants in that relationship. I'd much rather be single than have to put up with that rubbish!

 

[BluesBabe666]

Thats exactly right Top Don... whats worse about this is i told him i didnt want a relationship... and he told me he wanted a girlfriend... now it seems to have turned around or something i dont know... but good relationships arent supposed to be like this...

If the rollercoaster is going down more than up, its time to get off!!

And i think thats a perfect way of putting it!!!

 

[CowboyFromHell]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Mind Games.... (ggggrrrrr)

Originally posted by topdon


Mate i would too. He almost did a couple of weeks ago ... he was fuming with her ... then he chickened out after my sis buttered him up! Its obvious who wears the pants in that relationship. I'd much rather be single than have to put up with that rubbish!

I agree. Nothing worse than being with a girl who is like that.

BluesBabe - he says that it's okay if you stay at his house after a night out, did he ever ask you if he could do that, and if so, what did you say? I didn't quite get the sacrifice part that's all.

 

[Pornstar]

Just get back to the kitchen and bake him a cake and you'll feel much better.

 

[topdon]

BluesBabe666, seems your like the girlfriend who he likes to fall back on when things don't go to plan with his own mates. Wants you always to be available to him, to wait around for him, jumping at the opportunity to go out with him. You are not his servant. You have your own life, and he has to deal with it. Of course you are happy to spend some quality time with him, but not only when he feels like it. Your place is no half-way house. He can stay at your place, sure, but not after choosing to get ****ed with his mates.

I'm sure you have let him know all this though.

Mindgames do go both ways .. but i think he is playing with your head without realising it ... honestly. You have to make him realise!

 

[Rohan_]

To me it just sounds like he wants to get in your pants.

 

[Sly77]

CHRIST - you people are missing the whole point of this.

Think about it.....

1) Why would a drunk guy knock on your door at 5am

2) Why would a guy not care what time of day a fem knocks on his door (ESPECIALLY if she is drunk)

It all comes down to him being a guy and as many guys do, his priority in life is sex - he sees it as a perfectly reasonable request.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Mind Games.... (ggggrrrrr)

Originally posted by CowboyFromHell


I agree. Nothing worse than being with a girl who is like that.

BluesBabe - he says that it's okay if you stay at his house after a night out, did he ever ask you if he could do that, and if so, what did you say? I didn't quite get the sacrifice part that's all.

I have since told him no. The first time he did it i didnt answer and he tried to break in. I eventually let him in. The second time i didnt let him in at all, otherwise how was he going to learn? I just figure, if he wants to see me bad enough, why cant it be at a reasonable hour? It just seems its 5am or a Sunday night when he doesnt want to go out, you know, when its convenient for HIM, not for both of us... Make sense? I mean if i am being unreasonable, tell me, cos god knows i can be. I just worry that if i let him do that, he will be getting what he wants, and i will only be seeing him when it suits him. We are yet to spend time together out for tea, or lunch, or whatever. Its just pathetic, like an on-call girlfriend or something.

I am sick to death of arguing, and when i try to get rid of him, he's like, "I wanna be with you, we can make it work" blah blah but then the next week its the same old same old!!!

I AM DRAINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot change him, i cannot train him... his previous girlfriend (of nearly ten years) has totally wrecked him for anyone else!!! Sooo sick of arguing my point its not funny..

 

[CowboyFromHell]

Originally posted by Sly77
CHRIST - you people are missing the whole point of this.

Think about it.....

1) Why would a drunk guy knock on your door at 5am

2) Why would a guy not care what time of day a fem knocks on his door (ESPECIALLY if she is drunk)

It all comes down to him being a guy and as many guys do, his priority in life is sex - he sees it as a perfectly reasonable request.

Don't generalise. I hate girls who complain about guys doing this all the time. There are quite a few of us who are NOT like that, but you seem not to notice us.

With this guy, that may seem to be the case. But he was ****faced (poor excuse, but still good enough) and wanted sex. Big deal. Tell him to **** off. He wouldn't do that sober half the time I'm guessing.

But Sly, don't look stupid and generalise. It's stupid.

 

[Jeff_99]

Yeah I think Rohan's right, if he hasn't picked up a stray when he's out with the boys then he goes home to try and shag you. If you knock him back then he'll probably go to the hookers. If he's out of cash he'll go home and have a pull.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Originally posted by Sly77
CHRIST - you people are missing the whole point of this.

Think about it.....

1) Why would a drunk guy knock on your door at 5am

2) Why would a guy not care what time of day a fem knocks on his door (ESPECIALLY if she is drunk)

It all comes down to him being a guy and as many guys do, his priority in life is sex - he sees it as a perfectly reasonable request.

No, its honestly not that Sly, its happened a few times, once he stayed in my spare room and the other time in my bed and nothing happened. Hate to burst your bubble there but it doesnt appear to be about sex. He claims he just wants to cuddle, and generally he couldnt stay awake for very long in these instances anyway!!! So no, its not for a shag.

 

[Mooster7]

MOOSTER ATTITUDE

There are six billion people on the planet. Three billion of the opposite gender. Millions hot. Millions more semi-hot. Millions, millions more good enough. Is there a better excuse to keep your finger on the relationship abort button? Press that sucker.

I was married once - ONCE. I took nine kinds of strife thinking I was 'keeping peace in the house' and I figured you had to compromise to an extent. Compromising always works out best for the person not doing it. I haven't taken one scrap of BS since from anybody. I refuse to.

I treat everyone fairly and nice. The first whiff of psycho-babble and it's over. To me a new gf is like a toilet. If it's clean, it's fine. If there's something foul in it, flush-baawooooosh. Good bye.

I have a lot of hobbies that I really enjoy and which take a quite a bit of personal time to pursue. The way I see it, if I suddenly find myself without a date on Saturday night because of my 'attitude' then I have time to do what I really wanted to do in the first place. Get lost *****.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Originally posted by CowboyFromHell


Don't generalise. I hate girls who complain about guys doing this all the time. There are quite a few of us who are NOT like that, but you seem not to notice us.

With this guy, that may seem to be the case. But he was ****faced (poor excuse, but still good enough) and wanted sex. Big deal. Tell him to **** off. He wouldn't do that sober half the time I'm guessing.

But Sly, don't look stupid and generalise. It's stupid.

You're right cowboy... love being patronised... i am old enough to know when its about just sex, and in this case it isnt.

 

[Rohan_]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666


Hate to burst your bubble there but it doesnt appear to be about sex. He claims he just wants to cuddle

A cuddle is a prelude to sex. Trust me, when its 5am and you have been on the alcohol in the vicinity of girls you would be feeling pretty horny. IMO he says cuddles because he is too weak to come out with asking for sex.

 

[Sly77]

Originally posted by CowboyFromHell


Don't generalise. I hate girls who complain about guys doing this all the time. There are quite a few of us who are NOT like that, but you seem not to notice us.

With this guy, that may seem to be the case. But he was ****faced (poor excuse, but still good enough) and wanted sex. Big deal. Tell him to **** off. He wouldn't do that sober half the time I'm guessing.

But Sly, don't look stupid and generalise. It's stupid.

I didnt generalise - I was referring to BB's man and him only, then I made an overal comment referring to "many" males. "Many" is merely an undisclosed quantity - it is not ALL.........

I love males, many of my best friends are males - I do not have an ounce of hate in me for the other half of population. I just understand the character of many men. Men and fems DO think and act differently - I understand and accept that.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Well like i said above Ro, its happened a few times and there has been no sex... so where does that put your theory?

 

[CowboyFromHell]

Originally posted by Rohan_


A cuddle is a prelude to sex. Trust me, when its 5am and you have been on the alcohol in the vicinity of girls you would be feeling pretty horny. IMO he says cuddles because he is too weak to come out with asking for sex.

If he is off his face Rohan, he won't even be able to get it up. And a cuddle is NOT a prelude to sex. He may just want that. Like Blues Babe said, he will be asleep in 10 minutes anyway.

He may be horny, but he won't be responding after alot of alcohol!

 

[Rohan_]

Originally posted by CowboyFromHell


If he is off his face Rohan, he won't even be able to get it up.

And he doesn't know that. Rational thought processes go out the window when you are under the influence. Gee at 5am if he was so pi ssed he would rather want to sleep than cuddle in his own bed. Not with someone else...

 

[Sly77]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666


You're right cowboy... love being patronised... i am old enough to know when its about just sex, and in this case it isnt.

Refer to my response to cowboy thanks.

I wasnt patronising at all - please don't assume.

Try "understanding" where he is coming from - thats all I suggested.