Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 - 2015 Edition

[Bont2Bruce]

Happy to be proven wrong by dog's fans but he actually had a semi OK year. I was a bit surprised when he got delisted.

He provided run from the wings but didn't kick enough goals (11 in 19 games) to cement his list spot. Wasn't very accurate in kicking for goal either across 2015 and on more than one occasion he couldn't kick a set shot when we needed it most. EF is most fresh in the memory, but there were other games with the same story.

When a better player (Suckling) for the same role presented during trade week, it was bye-bye Jarrad. He's had more than enough time on the list and had probably hit his performance ceiling.

A 2015 highlight for Jarrad was when he managed to 20 and 3 against Melbourne in round 20.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Troy Chaplin's got to be a shot right?

Something l made a few months ago.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Bottom 50 game is weak. Jumped the shark the minute it was revealed Tom Boyd isn't Number 1.

Time to reboot the concept. I suggest an Unaustralian Team of 22 players - the 50 thing is too laboured.

 

[September Action]

Bottom 50 game is weak. Jumped the shark the minute it was revealed Tom Boyd isn't Number 1.

Time to reboot the concept. I suggest an Unaustralian Team of 22 players - the 50 thing is too laboured.

Boo.

Dec 1 and the Grinch appears...

 

[apparentlydead]

Boo.

Dec 1 and the Grinch appears...

He also hates orang-utans.

 

[VaultWanderer]

He also hates orang-utans.

Hi

 

[apparentlydead]

 

[royals1922]

Happy to be proven wrong by dog's fans but he actually had a semi OK year. I was a bit surprised when he got delisted.

Did slightly better this year. Would have been Fremantles best forward, certainly have less of a record.

 

[Sir Hugh Percy]

Bottom 50 game is weak. Jumped the shark the minute it was revealed Tom Boyd isn't Number 1.

Time to reboot the concept. I suggest an Unaustralian Team of 22 players - the 50 thing is too laboured.

**** off, Bunk.

 

[apparentlydead]

Did slightly better this year. Would have been Fremantles best forward, certainly have less of a record.

Boo.

Grant is the epitome of an athlete failing to become a footballer.

 

[Happy Mastenator]

Bottom 50 game is weak. Jumped the shark the minute it was revealed Tom Boyd isn't Number 1.

Time to reboot the concept. I suggest an Unaustralian Team of 22 players - the 50 thing is too laboured.

You should try using the "create new thread" function and spending hours and hours coming up with creative and amusing entries. Please be sure to post a link to that thread here so we can come and show our appreciation for your efforts...

 

[royals1922]

Boo.

Grant is the epitome of an athlete failing to become a footballer.

Correct. My post however is wrong how.

 

[Dewnior]

Gotta be Albert

 

[apparentlydead]

Correct. My post however is wrong how.

Pavlich is a clean skin.

SMB.

 

[September Action]

He also hates orang-utans.

What's Duritz done now??

 

[Mofra]

#1 - Luke Hodge

Nah but it would be worth it for the melts.

#1 - Colin Sylvia

Pictured: Colin Sylvia playing for Merbein. This year. Seriously.

Folks, there is your standard level of failure that is characterised by, say not making the finals. There is "out of the ordinary" failure which can be summarized by, say, perennially finishing ninth, and then finally finishing 5th when the 8th team is disqualified and the team that finished ninth beats you in a final, in between their multitude of wooden spoons.
Then there is a level of failure so spectacular that it even eclipses that time the Australian Army fought a war against emus... and lost.

Pictured: A long legged, big booty bird with big breasts who likes the outdoors type

This year, that level of failure is characterised by one man. Colin. Colin Sylvia.

It takes a super-human level of shitness to actually be so naturally talented yet not even make it through pre-season. Then to pull the pin on your season at the "barely second grade" level despite being a high profile FA signing. Then barely make an impact for a small country town's football team. But first, let us take a step back.

Colin Sylvia was a former pick #3 by the Demons, whose draft history in recent times has them screwing more teenagers than One Direction. After an uninspiring 157 game career of downhill skiing and off field issues, Fremantle - deciding they need more forwardline power in 2013, thankfully they've fixed that now - sign Colin Sylvia for 3 years on a 7 figure deal.
The result? 6 games in 2014 for 1 goal, after he turns up to pre-season training at the end of 2013 and runs with the back-markers.

After a disastrous 2014, Ross Lyon would have been expecting big things from Col. He'd turn up, right the wrongs, play his part and give Pav a premiership send off that he so richly deserves. Oh how wrong they were.

Fremantle should have known what they were getting. A bloke who actually had to be told by a magistrate to not kick his girlfriend - fortunately, those days are behind her as she now cunningly disguises herself as a football whenever she's in Col's presence.
A guy who rocked up to the 2014 B&F count drunker than Fev with a microphone and was told to "go home because um illness" by Freo officials. A guy that would turn up to a press conference looking like this:


Anyway Col's WAFL form tells the tale of his 2015 beset by more low points than Nick Maxwell standing on a ladder.

Pictured: Redtube induction day can be a confronting experience

After being banished from even training with Freo after rocking up from post-season break looking like a weight watchers before photo, Col averaged 12 disposals in the WAFL over his three games for Peel and kicked one solitary goal before pulling the pin and heading to the vast metropolis of Merbein. It's apparently the northernmost town in Victoria and one time home to everyone's favourite AOTY Adam "booo-urns" Goodes and Essendon's most successful coach this century, Matthew Knights.

So he's gone from high-profile free-agency signing ready to make a mark in his second year of a 3 year deal (what is it with spuds getting 3 year deals?), to "not in acceptable condition to train with Freo", to "not good enough for Peel Thunder" which is one of the worst performing football teams in Australia, to playing on dusty paddock in the Sunraysia region for a town whose greatest achievement is hosting an annual vanilla slice competition.

Pictured: Less vanilla than Colin's on-field career

This is a fall from grace not seen since Charlie Sheen went from A-list celebrity to a statistic demonstrating that HIV can effect one out of two and a half men. At this rate in 2016 Colin will either be giving handjobs for fake oxycontin behind a Newell Highway truckstop, become a BigFooty Mod or - even worse - sign on as a delisted free agent for Carlton.

Col, thanks for the memories good and bad, good luck with the next phase of your life which we all hope does not include prison. Thank you for rounding off this year's Bottom 50.

 

[Happy Mastenator]

All I took from that post is that I really want a vanilla slice now.

 

[Frankston Rover]

So much gold in that one, Mofra. Well done.

 

[apparentlydead]

Yeah, I got nuthin

You campaigner Mof.

 

[CaptainChardonnay]

#1 - Luke Hodge

Nah but it would be worth it for the melts.

#1 - Colin Sylvia

Pictured: Colin Sylvia playing for Merbein. This year. Seriously.

Folks, there is your standard level of failure that is characterised by, say not making the finals. There is "out of the ordinary" failure which can be summarized by, say, perennially finishing ninth, and then finally finishing 5th when the 8th team is disqualified and the team that finished ninth beats you in a final, in between their multitude of wooden spoons.
Then there is a level of failure so spectacular that it even eclipses that time the Australian Army fought a war against emus... and lost.

Pictured: A long legged, big booty bird with big breasts who likes the outdoors type

This year, that level of failure is characterised by one man. Colin. Colin Sylvia.

It takes a super-human level of shitness to actually be so naturally talented yet not even make it through pre-season. Then to pull the pin on your season at the "barely second grade" level despite being a high profile FA signing. Then barely make an impact for a small country town's football team. But first, let us take a step back.

Colin Sylvia was a former pick #3 by the Demons, whose draft history in recent times has them screwing more teenagers than One Direction. After an uninspiring 157 game career of downhill skiing and off field issues, Fremantle - deciding they need more forwardline power in 2013, thankfully they've fixed that now - sign Colin Sylvia for 3 years on a 7 figure deal.
The result? 6 games in 2014 for 1 goal, after he turns up to pre-season training at the end of 2013 and runs with the back-markers.

After a disastrous 2014, Ross Lyon would have been expecting big things from Col. He'd turn up, right the wrongs, play his part and give Pav a premiership send off that he so richly deserves. Oh how wrong they were.

Fremantle should have known what they were getting. A bloke who actually had to be told by a magistrate to not kick his girlfriend - fortunately, those days are behind her as she now cunningly disguises herself as a football whenever she's in Col's presence.
A guy who rocked up to the 2014 B&F count drunker than Fev with a microphone and was told to "go home because um illness" by Freo officials. A guy that would turn up to a press conference looking like this:


Anyway Col's WAFL form tells the tale of his 2015 beset by more low points than Nick Maxwell standing on a ladder.

Pictured: Redtube induction day can be a confronting experience

After being banished from even training with Freo after rocking up from post-season break looking like a weight watchers before photo, Col averaged 12 disposals in the WAFL over his three games for Peel and kicked one solitary goal before pulling the pin and heading to the vast metropolis of Merbein. It's apparently the northernmost town in Victoria and one time home to everyone's favourite AOTY Adam "booo-urns" Goodes and Essendon's most successful coach this century, Matthew Knights.

So he's gone from high-profile free-agency signing ready to make a mark in his second year of a 3 year deal (what is it with spuds getting 3 year deals?), to "not in acceptable condition to train with Freo", to "not good enough for Peel Thunder" which is one of the worst performing football teams in Australia, to playing on dusty paddock in the Sunraysia region for a town whose greatest achievement is hosting an annual vanilla slice competition.
View attachment 197213
Pictured: Less vanilla than Colin's on-field career

This is a fall from grace not seen since Charlie Sheen went from A-list celebrity to a statistic demonstrating that HIV can effect one out of two and a half men. At this rate in 2016 Colin will either be giving handjobs for fake oxycontin behind a Newell Highway truckstop, become a BigFooty Mod or - even worse - sign on as a delisted free agent for Carlton.

Col, thanks for the memories good and bad, good luck with the next phase of your life which we all hope does not include prison. Thank you for rounding off this year's Bottom 50.

Like my wife says after I've finished doing my version of greko Roman wrestling on top of her for 37 seconds....... "Well, That was a bit of a let down....."

 

[Mofra]

So much gold in that one, Mofra. Well done.

Thank you, and the 5% of people who appreciate the effort

You campaigner Mof.

Stating the obvious

 

[Starburns_]

So much gold in that one, Mofra. Well done.

Someone asked earlier what the point of Sylvia being #1 would be because it was all said last year. It's moments like Freo fixing their forward troubles, Essendon's most successful coach this century, and "one out of 2 and a half men" that really make it.

Cheer's for another excellent Bottom 50 Mofra, f***ing brilliant.

 

[Whats a Battle]

Bottom 50 game is weak. Jumped the shark the minute it was revealed Tom Boyd isn't Number 1.

Time to reboot the concept. I suggest an Unaustralian Team of 22 players - the 50 thing is too laboured.

Here you go:

B: Holman, Rowe, Jamison
HB: Smpson, Tuohy, Buckley
C: Thomas, Murphy, Docherty
HF: Tutt, Jones, Boekhorst
F: Casboult, Jacksh, Everitt
R: Kreuzer, Cripps, Curnow
I: Wood, Smith, Graham, Viojo-Rainbow

 

[GuzzLG]

Somehow Col turned out as a worse three year deal for his club than Mark Williams.

 

[Bernie L]

#1 - Luke Hodge

Nah but it would be worth it for the melts.

#1 - Colin Sylvia

Pictured: Colin Sylvia playing for Merbein. This year. Seriously.

Folks, there is your standard level of failure that is characterised by, say not making the finals. There is "out of the ordinary" failure which can be summarized by, say, perennially finishing ninth, and then finally finishing 5th when the 8th team is disqualified and the team that finished ninth beats you in a final, in between their multitude of wooden spoons.
Then there is a level of failure so spectacular that it even eclipses that time the Australian Army fought a war against emus... and lost.

Pictured: A long legged, big booty bird with big breasts who likes the outdoors type

This year, that level of failure is characterised by one man. Colin. Colin Sylvia.

It takes a super-human level of shitness to actually be so naturally talented yet not even make it through pre-season. Then to pull the pin on your season at the "barely second grade" level despite being a high profile FA signing. Then barely make an impact for a small country town's football team. But first, let us take a step back.

Colin Sylvia was a former pick #3 by the Demons, whose draft history in recent times has them screwing more teenagers than One Direction. After an uninspiring 157 game career of downhill skiing and off field issues, Fremantle - deciding they need more forwardline power in 2013, thankfully they've fixed that now - sign Colin Sylvia for 3 years on a 7 figure deal.
The result? 6 games in 2014 for 1 goal, after he turns up to pre-season training at the end of 2013 and runs with the back-markers.

After a disastrous 2014, Ross Lyon would have been expecting big things from Col. He'd turn up, right the wrongs, play his part and give Pav a premiership send off that he so richly deserves. Oh how wrong they were.

Fremantle should have known what they were getting. A bloke who actually had to be told by a magistrate to not kick his girlfriend - fortunately, those days are behind her as she now cunningly disguises herself as a football whenever she's in Col's presence.
A guy who rocked up to the 2014 B&F count drunker than Fev with a microphone and was told to "go home because um illness" by Freo officials. A guy that would turn up to a press conference looking like this:


Anyway Col's WAFL form tells the tale of his 2015 beset by more low points than Nick Maxwell standing on a ladder.

Pictured: Redtube induction day can be a confronting experience

After being banished from even training with Freo after rocking up from post-season break looking like a weight watchers before photo, Col averaged 12 disposals in the WAFL over his three games for Peel and kicked one solitary goal before pulling the pin and heading to the vast metropolis of Merbein. It's apparently the northernmost town in Victoria and one time home to everyone's favourite AOTY Adam "booo-urns" Goodes and Essendon's most successful coach this century, Matthew Knights.

So he's gone from high-profile free-agency signing ready to make a mark in his second year of a 3 year deal (what is it with spuds getting 3 year deals?), to "not in acceptable condition to train with Freo", to "not good enough for Peel Thunder" which is one of the worst performing football teams in Australia, to playing on dusty paddock in the Sunraysia region for a town whose greatest achievement is hosting an annual vanilla slice competition.
View attachment 197213
Pictured: Less vanilla than Colin's on-field career

This is a fall from grace not seen since Charlie Sheen went from A-list celebrity to a statistic demonstrating that HIV can effect one out of two and a half men. At this rate in 2016 Colin will either be giving handjobs for fake oxycontin behind a Newell Highway truckstop, become a BigFooty Mod or - even worse - sign on as a delisted free agent for Carlton.

Col, thanks for the memories good and bad, good luck with the next phase of your life which we all hope does not include prison. Thank you for rounding off this year's Bottom 50.

Colin Sylvia was a former pick #3 by the Demons, whose draft history in recent times has them screwing more teenagers than One Direction.

A bloke who actually had to be told by a magistrate to not kick his girlfriend - fortunately, those days are behind her as she now cunningly disguises herself as a football whenever she's in Col's presence.

Absolutely epic