Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018

[Mofra]

You mean cover for NicNat and Vardy...

Vardy will still be Vardy. Lycett's gone to Port and NicNat is where Amy Winehouse should have been.

 

[go you pups]

ABOUT TIME THAT SPUD FINALLY MADE THIS LIST!!!

The fact he played over 100 games for us shows how bad we've been this decade, at any other club besides maybe GC he would have been delisted ages ago

Well, at least he played 100+ for you lot

Perhaps his kids will do football better than he did

 

[richoatthedisco]

Well, at least he played 100+ for you lot

Perhaps his kids will do football better than he did

Tyson Tambling, 2023 father-son.

 

[TerryWallet]

Player #36 - Tom Hickey

Pictured: Tom Hickey, shortly after having a couple of quiet drinks with Tom Liberatore

Tom Hickey played for St Kilda in 2018 as one of their 12 listed ruckmen.

Like about 25% of AFL footballers these days, Tom started his career at the Gold Coast Suns before requesting a trade anywhere else for greater opportunity. The Saints, obviously shocked that anyone agreed to be traded to them, stumped up a first rounder as part of this deal.
Tom is a 201cm ruck with outstanding agility which also means he is about 5-10kgs lighter than his opponents despite being 27 years old.
His dad was a professional rugby league player which I assume meant the family dog often looked embarrassed and mum would sometimes choose to sleep in the car.

In round 1 of 2016 he managed 56 hit-outs and 20 touches in a career best performance, which made St Kilda immediately offer him a contract extension because, well, St Kilda. This brings us to today where in 2018 he was the preferred St Kilda ruck for about half the season and reached the staggering heights of "not the reason we lost" quite a few times which is actually ok for a senior player at the Saints that cost them a first round pick on something.

The problem is Hickey is really a number 2 ruck that isn't very good forward which means he more of a 'delay the problem' than the solution to a ruck puzzle. St Kilda finally realised this and traded him to West Coast as cover for NicNat and Lycett which is kind of like cancelling all the bands at a music festival then asking a Nickelback cover band to 'entertain the crowd for 8 hours'. Sure you're trying to do something but it's really the 'Kyle Sandilands in speedos' solution - it's not going to cover much and we know we're going to be horrified by the result.

Anyway good luck in Perth next year Tom and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

Vintage Entry Mofra. It's hard to keep a good thing going, but this was 2016 standard gold.

The picture and caption. The Rugby League line. The Nickleback line. The Kyle line. The easy cheapshots at the Saints.

Gold.

 

[NSWCROW]

he was the preferred St Kilda ruck for about half the season and reached the staggering heights of "not the reason we lost" quite a few times which is actually ok for a senior player at the Saints that cost them a first round pick on something.

DED !!!

 

[WillHayward]

....like cancelling all the bands at a music festival then asking a Nickelback cover band to 'entertain the crowd for 8 hours'. Sure you're trying to do something but it's really the 'Kyle Sandilands in speedos' solution - it's not going to cover much and we know we're going to be horrified by the result.

Mofra is back baby!

That is some top shelf vintage stuff right there.

 

[go you pups]

Tyson Tambling, 2023 father-son.

Oh boy

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Eagles fans can enjoy Hickey cause God forbid I did not.

 

[The Falcon Strike]

Player #36 - Tom Hickey

Pictured: Tom Hickey, shortly after having a couple of quiet drinks with Tom Liberatore

Tom Hickey played for St Kilda in 2018 as one of their 12 listed ruckmen.

Like about 25% of AFL footballers these days, Tom started his career at the Gold Coast Suns before requesting a trade anywhere else for greater opportunity. The Saints, obviously shocked that anyone agreed to be traded to them, stumped up a first rounder as part of this deal.
Tom is a 201cm ruck with outstanding agility which also means he is about 5-10kgs lighter than his opponents despite being 27 years old.
His dad was a professional rugby league player which I assume meant the family dog often looked embarrassed and mum would sometimes choose to sleep in the car.

In round 1 of 2016 he managed 56 hit-outs and 20 touches in a career best performance, which made St Kilda immediately offer him a contract extension because, well, St Kilda. This brings us to today where in 2018 he was the preferred St Kilda ruck for about half the season and reached the staggering heights of "not the reason we lost" quite a few times which is actually ok for a senior player at the Saints that cost them a first round pick on something.

The problem is Hickey is really a number 2 ruck that isn't very good forward which means he more of a 'delay the problem' than the solution to a ruck puzzle. St Kilda finally realised this and traded him to West Coast as cover for NicNat and Lycett which is kind of like cancelling all the bands at a music festival then asking a Nickelback cover band to 'entertain the crowd for 8 hours'. Sure you're trying to do something but it's really the 'Kyle Sandilands in speedos' solution - it's not going to cover much and we know we're going to be horrified by the result.

Anyway good luck in Perth next year Tom and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

Shut up and take my money

I’ll buy the first 10 books you sell

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Eagles fans can enjoy Hickey cause God forbid I did not.

Yet for some reason he was the only ruckman who seemed to regularly have the wood on Big Maxy.

 

[Laphroaig]

Yet for some reason he was the only ruckman who seemed to regularly have the wood on Big Maxy.

Big Maxy is developing a Cyril like reputation for going missing at big moments and on big occasions.

Doesn't get much bigger than a Melbourne / St Kilda game.....

 

[Sainter3and7]

So much truth inside Mofra's comments... not just funny, but actually had me thinking "Yeah, Hickey was bad, but he WASN'T the reason we lost."

Back soon, running to the Sack Richo thread for the Saints.

 

[iBeng]

Whats the deal with Brisbane Reject Longer?

 

[the avoca drover]

ABOUT TIME THAT SPUD FINALLY MADE THIS LIST!!!

The fact he played over 100 games for us shows how bad we've been this decade, at any other club besides maybe GC he would have been delisted ages ago

Hand on heart, l have never heard of this bloke.
I thought you were joking that he had played over 100 games. Had to Google him to confirm.
Played more games than Neale Daniher.

 

[____]

Hand on heart, l have never heard of this bloke.
I thought you were joking that he had played over 100 games. Had to Google him to confirm.
Played more games than Neale Daniher.

Sadly I was being legit. One of the many reasons why we have been so bad this decade. Although hadn't played since round 5 and since then we have been improving. The only reason I don't think he had been included in previous years would have been because not many non-Lions supporters would have heard of him.

The only memorable moment of his career was kicking two goals against Essendon in the last quarter 2017. But those two goals were set up by his teammates, directly in front and even I could have kicked them myself. I'm so happy he's finally delisted he benefitted big time from our homesickness problems

 

[Sirlemsip]

Big Maxy is developing a Cyril like reputation for going missing at big moments and on big occasions.

Doesn't get much bigger than a Melbourne / St Kilda game.....

 

[leobarryustar]

At a conservative estimate, there were 8 Hawks on the ground who had a better game that day.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

At a conservative estimate, there were 8 Hawks on the ground who had a better game that day.

But did they make Bruce loose?

 

[leobarryustar]

But did they make Bruce loose?

No way, my recollection was that Bruce was completely monogamous.

 

[SaltPeter]

Player #39 - George Horlin-Smith

Pictured: George Horlin-Smith glorifying violence down in Corio which seems rather redundant

George Horlin-Smith is possibly the most pretentious name in the AFL and... he attended something called "Pembroke School" in Adelaide which might just be as pretentious as it sounds.

Anyway George Horlin-Smith (I assume he doesn't have a nickname and demands that everyone use his "full, correct and proper" name) is a Geelong player who is currently linked to the Gold-Coast which is the kind of delisting you have when you're not quite delisted. Having been to the Gold-Coast I can only assume that George Horlin-Smith would stand out like dogs balls when he actually spoke, like an American in Paris or an American in Rome or... you get the idea.

Anyway the stats. In 13 games this season he averaged 22.38 disposals (51.39% kicking efficiency, 64.28% overall disposal efficiency), 2.85 marks, 3.62 tackles, 8.92 handball receives, and 0.54 goals per game. Oh sorry, they're his VFL numbers, noting the VFL appears to be his natural habitat.
At AFL he averaged 11 effective disposals and only 0.2 frees for per game indicating he doesn't listen to his captain.
That was over a whopping 4 game total this year though and he did lay 15 tackles in total so we can assume he didn't spend any time in the Geelong forwardline.

Apparently he's a 'solid citizen' but a touch slow on the field and given he doesn't seem to have much hurt factor to his game you'd have to summise he's about as vanilla as his family tree.

George Horlin-Smith good luck on the Godl Coast if you decide to extend your AFL career, you may be a little disappointed in the local polo scene though. Welcome to the Bottom 50.

Pembroke is the result of the amalgamation of Kings College and Girton Girls Grammar. So you may well be right.

 

[Sirlemsip]

At a conservative estimate, there were 8 Hawks on the ground who had a better game that day.

Arguably there were 3 or 4 that were better, but the only players who went 'missing' that day were 20 West coast players (Gaff and Shuey excused)

 

[JustaBattler]

In 2016 Scully kicked 23 goals as a winger, more than enough to scare Carlton off.

reaching post ? - just like Hawforn's desperate recruiting policy?

 

[JustaBattler]

Mofra - more Carlton mentions required - so I can troll you unmercifully next year...

 

[Mofra]

Player #35 - Sean Lemmens

Pictured: For the first time in 8 years, Gold Coast have a point. Three points if you look closely.

Sean Lemmens is a Gold Coast Suns player who, to the best of my knowledge, is best known for hosting a party.
I assumed he wasn't very good because he's a Suns player who has stayed at the Suns and his stats suggest he's not very good. Even St Kilda, with a list much like Stormy Daniels (overpriced ball handlers) didn't make a play for him.

Anyway, Sean Lemmens played for Salisbury and then Port Adelaide in the SANFL as a junior which we all know is a completely separate club to the AFL club that are still trying to convince us that teal is a real colour. He was picked up with a second round pick and is listed as a forward/defender.
Leading into the 2013 draft most talent watchers had him pegged as a rookie chance at best but if the Gold Coast Suns have been consistent in one thing, it's exquisite decision making.

This year he managed 10 games kicking one goal for the year and and averaging over 4 clangers from his 11 possession average per game. Fortunately he seems to have a very valuable AFL trait on the Gold Coast which is "not homesick". Someone with that form-line doesn't present as particularly threatening and you'd be right; Scott Clayton who has a penchant for skinny flankers seems to have picked up a guy who, after 5 pre-seasons, still weighs only 80kgs or so (with some websites listing him as either 66kg or 74kg).
Sean should hang out with Shane Mumford to add weight as he once consumed 28 sausages in a single sitting...

*** Mofra sees the Mumford video***

... s**t I rally thought we were talking about trip to Bunnings and not fat white powdery sausages that could be anything please don't sue me.

The only other interesting tidbit from this year is he managed seven behinds to go with his one goal which means Usain Bolt, in one game, playing a different sport where scoring is more difficult, has out-scored Lemmens in front of goal this year despite far far fewer chances. That would almost make for an interesting pub trivia question if more than 0.7% of the population had any idea who Sean Lemmens actually is.

Anyway congratulations Sean on achieving something this year and good luck next year pushing for the leadership group by that wonderful process known as 'elimination'. Welcome to the Bottom 50.

 

[Haso]

Sean Lemmens is a Gold Coast Suns player who, to the best of my knowledge, is best known for hosting a party.

Strong out of the gates there.