Crankyhawk
Brownlow Medallist
No tears, reckon it will be justified.
Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018
- Thread starter Mofra
- Start date
- Tagged users None
It was a typo. I dun goofed.
Good to see you alive and well.
TedDougChris
🏆 🦍
- Mar 10, 2007
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- Charlton Athletic, Roys FFC
At its usual pace, yeah.....
- Nov 17, 2007
- 18,631
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In fits and starts.
I honestly read that as “it shits and farts”
- Nov 17, 2007
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No, that poster has been permabanned.
Probably a truer summation of the thread, to be honest.
I dont care how old this is but farken lol
Dogs_R_Us
Space Traveller
Is this still a thing?
Not when that injury actually improves their output and usefulness to their side.
Bring-Back-Powell
Norm Smith Medallist
Will Jimmy Toumpas qualify for his 5th straight 'Moffra'?
By the time the list is finished it'll be full of 2019 players, so he might miss out on a guernsey.
- Apr 29, 2013
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You know, in my daily life, I make bestiality jokes and people look sideways at me. Then I come to the Bay, read threads like this, and think "I belong."
If there is a Memorial Service for Mof, can someone let me know by PM.
I'd like to give him a respectful send off.
I'd like to give him a respectful send off.
Mofra
Moderator
- Dec 6, 2005
- 67,099
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- Footscray, Coney Island Warriors
- Thread starter
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- #618
Player #31 - Travis Colyer
Pictured: "Stop patting me on the head for good luck! It's clearly not working"
Travis Colyer is 175cm and 75kgs yet was still one of the 'Essendon 34', proving Dank had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
Supposedly a forward/midfielder (which was once called 'flanker') he kicked two goals for the year from his eight games and averaged 13.5 touches of which 9 were effective. You might be thinking at this point that the stats paint him in a bad light, but wait there's more.
You see, he is considered skillful, is very quick, and is good overhead for his size although given his size if he wasn't good overhead he'd starve to death. He's actually got a fair tank on him too, by that I mean running ability and not an actual armoured war vehicle or Stringer's gut. The problem is his hands. Or at least, his inability to use them to grab the ball without multiple attempts.
"High five Trav"
Colyer just seems to fumble every time he's near the ball like a Star Trek fan taking to a moderately attractive person of the opposite sex. Watching him attempting to pick up a ball in traffic is like watching pr0n on dial up - both entertaining yet incredibly frustrating at the same time. And unlike Mimi McPherson, Trav won't be off to the Gold Coast next year.
Apparently Rossy "GF loss" Lyon has seen Trav play and thought "2 goals in 8 games, I needs to get me some of that action!". So yes Travis will play in purple next year, or for whatever feeder club Freo send their WAFL players back to which for half their list seems to be Dan Murphy's. Now I'm not calling all of their players drunken under-performing louts but many of them are a surname change away from an Australian Test Cricket berth, and I bet Harley Bennell would make an efficient opener.
But that's all off track. Trav, good luck in the West next year. Welcome to this years' Bottom 50.
Pictured: "Stop patting me on the head for good luck! It's clearly not working"
Travis Colyer is 175cm and 75kgs yet was still one of the 'Essendon 34', proving Dank had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
Supposedly a forward/midfielder (which was once called 'flanker') he kicked two goals for the year from his eight games and averaged 13.5 touches of which 9 were effective. You might be thinking at this point that the stats paint him in a bad light, but wait there's more.
You see, he is considered skillful, is very quick, and is good overhead for his size although given his size if he wasn't good overhead he'd starve to death. He's actually got a fair tank on him too, by that I mean running ability and not an actual armoured war vehicle or Stringer's gut. The problem is his hands. Or at least, his inability to use them to grab the ball without multiple attempts.
"High five Trav"
Colyer just seems to fumble every time he's near the ball like a Star Trek fan taking to a moderately attractive person of the opposite sex. Watching him attempting to pick up a ball in traffic is like watching pr0n on dial up - both entertaining yet incredibly frustrating at the same time. And unlike Mimi McPherson, Trav won't be off to the Gold Coast next year.
Apparently Rossy "GF loss" Lyon has seen Trav play and thought "2 goals in 8 games, I needs to get me some of that action!". So yes Travis will play in purple next year, or for whatever feeder club Freo send their WAFL players back to which for half their list seems to be Dan Murphy's. Now I'm not calling all of their players drunken under-performing louts but many of them are a surname change away from an Australian Test Cricket berth, and I bet Harley Bennell would make an efficient opener.
But that's all off track. Trav, good luck in the West next year. Welcome to this years' Bottom 50.
Finally!Player #31 - Travis Colyer
Pictured: "Stop patting me on the head for good luck! It's clearly not working"
Travis Colyer is 175cm and 75kgs yet was still one of the 'Essendon 34', proving Dank had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
Supposedly a forward/midfielder (which was once called 'flanker') he kicked two goals for the year from his eight games and averaged 13.5 touches of which 9 were effective. You might be thinking at this point that the stats paint him in a bad light, but wait there's more.
You see, he is considered skillful, is very quick, and is good overhead for his size although given his size if he wasn't good overhead he'd starve to death. He's actually got a fair tank on him too, by that I mean running ability and not an actual armoured war vehicle or Stringer's gut. The problem is his hands. Or at least, his inability to use them to grab the ball without multiple attempts.
"High five Trav"
Colyer just seems to fumble every time he's near the ball like a Star Trek fan taking to a moderately attractive person of the opposite sex. Watching him attempting to pick up a ball in traffic is like watching pr0n on dial up - both entertaining yet incredibly frustrating at the same time. And unlike Mimi McPherson, Trav won't be off to the Gold Coast next year.
Apparently Rossy "GF loss" Lyon has seen Trav play and thought "2 goals in 8 games, I needs to get me some of that action!". So yes Travis will play in purple next year, or for whatever feeder club Freo send their WAFL players back to which for half their list seems to be Dan Murphy's. Now I'm not calling all of their players drunken under-performing louts but many of them are a surname change away from an Australian Test Cricket berth, and I bet Harley Bennell would make an efficient opener.
But that's all off track. Trav, good luck in the West next year. Welcome to this years' Bottom 50.
Mofdonna
Late to the stage but when the music starts again the fans still feel touched for the very first time.
Late to the stage but when the music starts again the fans still feel touched for the very first time.
NSWCROW
Make me an Admin!
Mimi Mcpherson though
Mofra
Moderator
- Dec 6, 2005
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- Footscray, Coney Island Warriors
- Thread starter
- Moderator
- #622
Player #30 - Luke McDonald
Pictured: Yes he is growing a mullet, apparently unaware that you need to occasionally wash it
Luke McDonald is a top 10 draft pick and father son selection for North Melbourne.
A highly touted junior he has cruised through his AFL career thus far with all the dedication of Kevin Spacey playing the 'keep your hands to yourself' game.
Anyway after a decent 2016 Luke backed it up with a OK-ish 2017 then proceeded in 2018 to reduce his output much further, with the exception of his time on ground going up by 1%. Calls by North fans to drop him were ignored as Brad Scott stubbornly stuck to his losing formula that has given him 9 years as an AFL coach.
Playing 22 games he reached the dizzying heights of 18th in the North Melbourne best and fairest count (named after Essendon VFL champion, Syd Barker). I don't have the stats in front of me but I'm pretty sure 17th was Brent Harvey and 19th was a guy named Dinesh, noting the count was organised by the same people who run their raffle.
The issue seems to be that he likes the lifestyle of an AFL footballer far more than the football side of being an AFL footballer.
His highlight for 2018 was probably a night on the piss with his younger teammates in Hobart which earned him a suspension from a JLT game as he agreed not to drink just before he went out to drink. I'm sure he had fun, although it does seem somewhat surprising that McDonald has younger teammates to mentor and that he's a mentor in the first place. Jy Simpkin fell off a scooter around the same time too, which has multiple degrees of embarrassment including being a listed AFL player with a scooter.
Anyway Luke McDonald appears to have attended the Luke Dahlhaus school of motivation this year and you can't help but think of this particular roast when it comes to Luke's 2018:
Luke "unenthusiastic handjob" McDonald, as a result of his down year, as blue and white royalty due to his bloodlines and one of the highest picks on North's list was punished with... jks, he was given a 3 year contract extension presumably due to North making room for Gaff *chuckle*, Dusty *chortle* and Josh Kelly *bwahahaha*. I guess they need to spend their cap on someone. When asked about North's actual TPP and salary cap situation, Dinesh declined to comment.
Luke 'UH' McDonald, enjoy your contract extension and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.
Pictured: Yes he is growing a mullet, apparently unaware that you need to occasionally wash it
Luke McDonald is a top 10 draft pick and father son selection for North Melbourne.
A highly touted junior he has cruised through his AFL career thus far with all the dedication of Kevin Spacey playing the 'keep your hands to yourself' game.
Anyway after a decent 2016 Luke backed it up with a OK-ish 2017 then proceeded in 2018 to reduce his output much further, with the exception of his time on ground going up by 1%. Calls by North fans to drop him were ignored as Brad Scott stubbornly stuck to his losing formula that has given him 9 years as an AFL coach.
Playing 22 games he reached the dizzying heights of 18th in the North Melbourne best and fairest count (named after Essendon VFL champion, Syd Barker). I don't have the stats in front of me but I'm pretty sure 17th was Brent Harvey and 19th was a guy named Dinesh, noting the count was organised by the same people who run their raffle.
The issue seems to be that he likes the lifestyle of an AFL footballer far more than the football side of being an AFL footballer.
His highlight for 2018 was probably a night on the piss with his younger teammates in Hobart which earned him a suspension from a JLT game as he agreed not to drink just before he went out to drink. I'm sure he had fun, although it does seem somewhat surprising that McDonald has younger teammates to mentor and that he's a mentor in the first place. Jy Simpkin fell off a scooter around the same time too, which has multiple degrees of embarrassment including being a listed AFL player with a scooter.
Anyway Luke McDonald appears to have attended the Luke Dahlhaus school of motivation this year and you can't help but think of this particular roast when it comes to Luke's 2018:
Luke "unenthusiastic handjob" McDonald, as a result of his down year, as blue and white royalty due to his bloodlines and one of the highest picks on North's list was punished with... jks, he was given a 3 year contract extension presumably due to North making room for Gaff *chuckle*, Dusty *chortle* and Josh Kelly *bwahahaha*. I guess they need to spend their cap on someone. When asked about North's actual TPP and salary cap situation, Dinesh declined to comment.
Luke 'UH' McDonald, enjoy your contract extension and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.
All the best to Luke, he’s coasting along and living the dream.
When it finally all comes to an end on his 38th birthday his surname gives a pretty strong hint as to his next place of employment.
When it finally all comes to an end on his 38th birthday his surname gives a pretty strong hint as to his next place of employment.
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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Finally, Two Dogs F-ing was horrendous this year and I would have put him top 20.
i reckon that unenthusiastic look would really work for me.
