Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018

[sthmelb_dimmies]

5. Ryan Schoenmakers
4. Tex Walker
3. Cyril Rioli
2. Kurt Tippett
1. Tom Boyd

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

Pick 22 - Mitch Honeychurch

Pictured: No, that's not the work experience kid. That's Travis Cloke

Mitch Honeychurch is a small mid/forward who was on the Bulldogs list for 5 years.

At 175cm and 70kgs he was tried in multiple positions and tried his best but it just never happened for him. At that height and weight you need to be exceptionally good and Mitch was an honest toiler at best.

He wasn't going to win much contested ball at that size, but lacked the pace and footskills to be particularly damaging on the outside, and as a small forward... well, he kicked 3 goals from 13 games this year which ranked him 22nd on the Bulldogs list for goals kicked behind such big name AFL players as Fergus Greene and Bailey Dale.

Mitch Honeychurch tried but the real litmus test is that he played in 3 wins and 10 losses this year, indicating the Bulldogs played better when there was the option of selecting other players (almost any other players). Basically he's Clippy - tried to help but ended up getting in the way, ruining the format, wasting time and why are you changing the font size JUST GET OFF MY &^%$KING SCREEN YOU STUPID BLOODY PAPERCLIP &^%$ YOU BILL GATES!!!!!

Pictured: The most hated metal on the planet until Limp Bizkit started

Mitch was delisted and next year instead of playing VFL (where he is a dual premiership player) he is going to play for Vermont which was his junior club,
Fun fact: Honeychurch kicked a goal with his first kick in AFL football.

Good luck next year Mitch, you busted a gut but it never quite clicked. Welcome to this years' Bottom 50.

Fun fact, my ex used to call her special place her honey church. Good times.

 

[hawkman]

Player #23 - Billy Hartung
What is amazing about Billy's departure is that shortly before and even after his delisting we had North fans not just saying he's AFL quality, but inferring he's elite (note: the following quotes are only a few months old!)





*cue sage nodding by North automatons who think he's better than Issac Smith

That is surprising as Norf supporters don't normally overrate their players. It is not like they were calling him better than Pendlebury

 

[Mofra]

That is surprising as Norf supporters don't normally overrate their players. It is not like they were calling him better than Pendlebury

I guess poor Billy never reached Gav Urqhardt's stunning highs (although locked, it's still one of my favourite threads on BF).

 

[Werewolf]

Pick 22 - Mitch Honeychurch

Similar size to me, similar footskills. AFL's in bad shape if there are 21 players worse than him

 

[vjknight]

Similar size to me, similar footskills. AFL's in bad shape if there are 21 players worse than him still on lists

Subtle adjustment

 

[Werewolf]

Subtle adjustment

Good pickup! Nice avatar BTW, reminds me of Collingwood being runners-up 27 times

 

[vjknight]

Good pickup! Nice avatar BTW, reminds me of Collingwood being runners-up 27 times

You dogs fans. One flag and you think you're so good.

 

[TedDougChris]

Fun fact, my ex used to call her special place her honey church. Good times.

Did you only go there on Sundays and special occasions ??

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Not content with being made the club's whipping boy, Mofra further shames him. Weak.

 

[NSWCROW]

Starting to get confident my main man jezza cameron might dodge a Mofra-bullet......

 

[The Joker]

Player #24 - Hayden Ballantyne

Pictured: Hayden struggles to understand why he is unpopular in some football circles

Ballantyne is.. still playing? Holy s**t crazy Rossy really does hate developing the kids.

Hayden Ballantyne is a former all Australian in 2014 and has been in decline ever since. This year he continued to contribute to whatever the hell Lyon is intent on doing at the Dockers. Say what you will about Terry Wallace, or Mao Zedong. At least they had five year plans.

Anyway Hayden somehow managed over a goal per game this year and almost 7 effective disposals per game, while reducing his average tackle count by 40% at a time when pressure in the forward 50 has become even more important at AFL level. He's not so much off trend as anti-trend. I bet he's still on MySpace, and not ironically either.

For some reason Peel Thunder have named a part of their ground the "Hayden Ballantyne wing" which is the worst piece of labelling since Susan Boyle's album launched under the hashtag of #susanalbumparty. You surely wouldn't want to sit on any stand on that wing - it would be too short to fit under properly and topple over at the slightest contact.

Fun fact: Ballantyne almost became an Eagle at the end of 2016 but the Eagles 'ran out of money' after they signed Sam Mitchell to play for a year before moving into coaching.
Fun fact 2: At 174cm he towers over Caleb Daniel (and probably Starburns).
Fun fact 3: Matty Scarlett has three Premiership medallions, a bunch of AA medals, and describes punching Hayden as the highlight of his career.

Hayden, Ballas, well done on retirem... contracted for next year? Oh, yeah sure Freo must be in their window after shedding B&F Lachie Neale.
Crazy Rossy never change, and Haydo welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

Freos first player, a little early but it's a good start.

Shane Kersten is a top 5 cert.
McCarthy is my pick for the top spot.
Bennell couldnt get s game despite playing 10 straight for Peel, a smokie...

 

[Sprout]

Pictured: The most hated metal on the planet until Limp Bizkit started.

I legit loved Limp Bizkit back in the day

Drink, smoke and try to have sex with anything that moves. Their message spoke to me.

I can at least say that I survived this mosh as a skinny runt.

 

[WillHayward]

It was a pretty good trade, we got Shane Savage ,and Pick 18 and Pick 19, For McEvoy 24 and 59.

The picks we got were good enough to get Matt Crouch and Toby Nankervis, leaving us to take Zach Merrett with our originial second rounder.
McEvoy goes OK but I'd rather have Savage, Crouch , Merrett and Nankurvis..

Unfortunately we got Luke Dunstan, Blake Acres and traded our second rounder on Billy.

Shane Savage is s**t-house. 18 and 19 were Dunstan and Acres. Both worth nothing so far. Acres might be ok if you are lucky.

 

[WillHayward]

Fun fact, my ex used to call her special place her honey church. Good times.

Jesus Christ
That s**t never happens to me.

 

[WillHayward]

I legit loved Limp Bizkit back in the day

Drink, smoke and try to have sex with anything that moves. Their message spoke to me.

I can at least say that I survived this mosh as a skinny runt.

I thought Dees fans liked to get the old ColdPlay CD going on the drive to Buller.

 

[WillHayward]

Player #24 - Hayden Ballantyne

Pictured: Hayden struggles to understand why he is unpopular in some football circles

Ballantyne is.. still playing? Holy s**t crazy Rossy really does hate developing the kids.

Hayden Ballantyne is a former all Australian in 2014 and has been in decline ever since. This year he continued to contribute to whatever the hell Lyon is intent on doing at the Dockers. Say what you will about Terry Wallace, or Mao Zedong. At least they had five year plans.

Anyway Hayden somehow managed over a goal per game this year and almost 7 effective disposals per game, while reducing his average tackle count by 40% at a time when pressure in the forward 50 has become even more important at AFL level. He's not so much off trend as anti-trend. I bet he's still on MySpace, and not ironically either.

For some reason Peel Thunder have named a part of their ground the "Hayden Ballantyne wing" which is the worst piece of labelling since Susan Boyle's album launched under the hashtag of #susanalbumparty. You surely wouldn't want to sit on any stand on that wing - it would be too short to fit under properly and topple over at the slightest contact.

Fun fact: Ballantyne almost became an Eagle at the end of 2016 but the Eagles 'ran out of money' after they signed Sam Mitchell to play for a year before moving into coaching.
Fun fact 2: At 174cm he towers over Caleb Daniel (and probably Starburns).
Fun fact 3: Matty Scarlett has three Premiership medallions, a bunch of AA medals, and describes punching Hayden as the highlight of his career.

Hayden, Ballas, well done on retirem... contracted for next year? Oh, yeah sure Freo must be in their window after shedding B&F Lachie Neale.
Crazy Rossy never change, and Haydo welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

Cannot believe this bloke is still contracted. Just cannot believe it. Proves, once and for all, Lyon is insane and completely pig headed.
Lyon loves his 'working class, blue collar' bullshit mythology over actual reality.

I actually hate watching Ballantyne play.
His ability to slip and fall over for no reason is incredibly frustrating. Not sure how Freo fans take it.

The midfield work their ass off to get a fwd entry, then Ballas gets a ball inside 50 in wide open space and then he just falls over for no apparent reason.
Seems to happen all the time.

 

[WillHayward]

Did you only go there on Sundays and special occasions ??

52 Sundays a year my friend.
That is a bonanza in my books.

 

[Sprout]

I thought Dees fans liked to get the old ColdPlay CD going on the drive to Buller.

Try to balance between the two

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Shane Savage is s**t-house. 18 and 19 were Dunstan and Acres. Both worth nothing so far. Acres might be ok if you are lucky.

HAHAHA YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT I MEANT WITH MY SUBTLE LITTLE WRITING.

or not.

The trade itself was ok though.

 

[Bleeeeeeeeeeep]

I guess poor Billy never reached Gav Urqhardt's stunning highs (although locked, it's still one of my favourite threads on BF).

Billy just lacked that vital ingredient that every footballer needs... okay, a couple of vital ingredients...okay, he was s**t...

 

[SaintsSeptember]

So... i'm calling it,
Don't recruit players called "Billy".
I mean your parents call you William, lets go with William , Will or even Bill.
But "Billy" as in "silly billy"? I guess its better than Willy, unless you get called Willy because of your huge physical attributes.
Are Stretch or Gowers any good?

 

[HomerThompson]

So... i'm calling it,
Don't recruit players called "Billy".
I mean your parents call you William, lets go with William , Will or even Bill.
But "Billy" as in "silly billy"? I guess its better than Willy, unless you get called Willy because of your huge physical attributes.
Are Stretch or Gowers any good?

Bill Duckworth, Will Langford, and Willie Dick like this.

 

[leobarryustar]

I guess its better than Willy, unless you get called Willy because of your huge physical attributes.

Its a shame he doesn't call himself Willy Longer.

 

[leobarryustar]

Lol our next PM will be Willy Shorten