Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018

Steven May? Nah you're just taking the piss now Mofra.
May is gonna make opposition forward lines poo their pants next year.
Player #9 - Andrew Gaff

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Pictured: Andrew Gaff appears 'over the moon' for his teammates to have won the Grand Final

Wait, wut? Gaff who was probably in the Brownlow conversation up until round 19 2018? Yes, that Andrew Gaff.

You see the Bottom 50 has always been weighted toward finals performances. Some guys just dominate (or at least, contribute strongly during) the H&A season but then either play well below their best in September (Nick Riewoldt), well below their best (Gary Rohan) or get a medal named after them (the great Leon Davis). Gaff one-upped all of them but getting himself into the best form of his career, earning the respect of all and sundry until a moment of ill-disciplined madness ruled him out for the rest of the year:

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Pictured: A flush hit to the mouth of a teenager

Now, it's not the 50s anymore - coward punches are not on, least of all on a football field. It was the biggest story in the AFL world this year at the time - as big as other timeless classics such as the Essendon drugs saga, Wayne Carey on Kelli Stevens, and that time Andrew Walker wore a hat to training .

Fortunately for West Coast they copped Collingwood twice in September who tend to choke in big finals harder than the Western Sydney Giants tend to choke in big finals. This meant West Coast losing their best midfielder for the month didn't hurt them as much as it would have done in every other single year in AFL/VFL history except for 1924 in which no Grand Final was played (Essendon still claim the flag from that year because they are dirty dirty cheats). Bottom line is Gaff's contribution in September was confined to cheering his teammates on from the sidelines which, as you can see from the first photo, he filled with muted gusto.

Of course that didn't mean the athleticism attached to the Gaff name stopped: some West Coast fans engaged in acts of mental gymnastics so impressive they'd need to pee in a vial just to watch Olympic highlights on you-tube. One particular meltdown was damn near award-worthy.

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Pictured: The West Coast Eagles cheer squad captain

The Brayshaws to their credit have largely played down the issue despite there being at least some portion of recessive attention-whore gene in the family DNA.

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Pictured: Does KissStephanie still post on BF?

Anyway long story short, Andrew Gaff assaulted a teenager which makes him a perfect candidate for the Bottom 50 for 2018 and sadly the US Supreme Court as well.

Gaff, good luck in the pre-season and your delayed start to 2019. I believe you when you say it was out of character, welcome to your first (and likely, last) entry in the Bottom 50.
DanWA
 

Benny78

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I'm proud of Gaff, he somehow managed to go from being continually criticised for being weak, laying pathetic tackles, not getting any contested possessions, to all of a sudden becoming a violent thug who goes around assaulting teenagers

talk about a rebrand

That's what Hawthorn did to win their premierships
 
Calling it: #1 Tom Mitchell for being an ineffective crab who only won the Brownlow because there were no teammates to take votes off him.
 
Calling it: #1 Tom Mitchell for being an ineffective crab who only won the Brownlow because there were no teammates to take votes off him.
The real story here is the excuse for no Tom Boyd Plugger35
 

Mcgearzz

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You stop being a teenager at 18. Don’t spin it anymore than it is. Bad incident move on
 
Fun fact:
Bugg kicked 4 goals against Norf this year.
His new club managed a total of three against the same opposition this year.
Can't wait to see Bugg, Fasolo and Casboult strike fear into opposition backlines next year.
Bugg will probably win their goalkicking award next year if he learns to kick straight.
Is Charlie moving to the backline for some reason? :think:
 
Calling it: #1 Tom Mitchell for being an ineffective crab who only won the Brownlow because there were no teammates to take votes off him.
Let's have a look at metres gained comparing Oliver to Mitchell (and just about every other main stat) and then lets see how you feel about that.
 
Let's have a look at metres gained comparing Oliver to Mitchell (and just about every other main stat) and then lets see how you feel about that.
Oliver had Gawn and Brayshaw taking votes off him.
But putting on my Mofra hat, the above melt is a good example of why Mitchell would be a good choice for #1.
But it's hard to compare stats without actually providing them.
 
May 15, 2006
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Oliver had Gawn and Brayshaw taking votes off him.
But putting on my Mofra hat, the above melt is a good example of why Mitchell would be a good choice for #1.
But it's hard to compare stats without actually providing them.

And that there sir is what makes me laugh so hard

The plebs don't realise ( or fully appreciate ) what Mofra is actually doing with the bottom 50

Every single year the troll works
 
Oliver had Gawn and Brayshaw taking votes off him.
But putting on my Mofra hat, the above melt is a good example of why Mitchell would be a good choice for #1.
But it's hard to compare stats without actually providing them.
Hawthorn had a total of 90 Brownlow votes. Melbourne had 93. Pretty s**t excuse blaming Gawn and Bradshaw, considereing O'Meara got as many votes as Oliver.
 
You stop being a teenager at 18.
I would have thought Essendon fans could at least understand numbers up to 34. I stand corrected.
 
I would have thought Essendon fans could at least understand numbers up to 34. I stand corrected.
I mean, technically when you inject an 18 yo with performance enhancing drugs they no longer have the body of a teenager? I can see why there is some confusion
 

DanWA

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Calling it: #1 Tom Mitchell for being an ineffective crab who only won the Brownlow because there were no teammates to take votes off him.

Tom Boyd has been a shoe in for #1 every year since 2015

Eagerly anticipate at minimum a 1-3 finish
 

leobarryustar

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And that there sir is what makes me laugh so hard

The plebs don't realise ( or fully appreciate ) what Mofra is actually doing with the bottom 50

Every single year the troll works
Including 20 no-name Bulldogs to make them seem relevant?
 
Player #8 - Joe Daniher

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Pictured: I take it back. Some pharmaceutical experimentation might be in order here

Joe Daniher has been talked up as a potential star of the competition for some time and was an AA selection in 2017. He also won mark of the year that year.

Joe's 2018 was a disaster in almost every sense of the word. I'll sum it up in one word: Clanger.

JD (as he is probably known) averaged 5 clangers per game, the second highest in the competition after Nat Fyfe. Nat Fyfe plays in the midfield, often disposing of the ball under pressure and averages 28.7 disposals per game. JD averages under 14 touches per game as a ruck/forward.

Joe's highlights include a 22 disposal game with 10 clangers against Collingwood (Essendon lost), a 14 disposal game against Freo with 7 clangers (Essendon lost) and an 11 disposal game against Hawthorn with 5 clangers (Essendon lost). Sense a pattern? Daniher was a total liability on-field this season which makes a nice change at Essendon as normally their famous names are only a liability off-field.

The guy struggles to kick the pill (that's slang for ball - have to specify that when we're talking about Windy Hill Tullamarine) to the point where he's even tried snapping at goal from a set shot. He still managed about a goal per game this year (and slightly more than one behind per game), and one hit-out per game which makes the 'ruck/forward' description a little dubious. Unless you name is Con and you had relations with a goat, you need to do something more than once to earn yourself a title like that.

Daniher is of course a famous name, his dad having played more than 100 games for both Essendon and Sydney. He had three uncles also play for the bombers back in the 'salary cap is a mere suggestion' days of the VFL so he chose to be picked up by the Bombers as a father son pick in the first round of the 2012 draft.
It was a simpler time in the VFL days - players could grab a beer after the game, there was no such thing a social media, and football club and bowls club could co-exist peacefully.
Unfortunately we didn't get to see Joe after round 7 this year as, like his former coach in Paris, he had groin trouble.

He also strangely has the teeth of someone who smokes:
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Pictured: That god-awful ugly thing (in the top left corner ruins this photo)

Which this secret footage also corroborates:
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Pictured: The only smoking hot ass associated with the name 'Daniher'

On the plus side though Essendon 'won' trade week again which served them so well in 2018, and the 13 consecutive years before that.

Anyway Joe you've been friendly to chat with at music festivals so good luck with your recovery and a bounce-back next season. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.
 
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