Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018

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Aug 27, 2015
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Player #50 - Gary Ablett Jnr


Pictured: How many directions does Gazza run?

Garry Ablett Jnr was a former Geelong father-son pick who went to Gold Coast, became captain, sulked, returned to Geelong and somehow made them weaker.
All pre-season Geelong supporters (unencumbered by employment, culture and in many cases opposable thumbs) spruiked about their 'holy trinity' of midfielders. Unfortunately, AFL is a team sport so if someone racks up big stats but makes the team weaker, that's not actually a good thing.

Gazza's presence in the midfield has somehow made Dangerfield and Selwood less effective as all three fight for the ball - and while Selwood will tackle an opponent if they fall under his eyeline (which is between his face and about 30cm in front of him) and Dangerfield is a star who even kicks the ball to his teammates sometimes, Gazza plays the way Gazza wants which in no way means blocking/helping teammates/tackling very often. He would be an effective forward if sent there, but Gazza views coaches instructions the way most of us view a Chris Scott press conference.

All of this comes boils down to one thing - Gazza wants the easy ball, possession when he doesn't have to make contact with the opposition.
Respected football commentator and multiple premiership winner Mr D Brereton mentioned Ablett should brace for contact and take it, take it, take it all bitch, because the back of Dermott's head is very punchable or something. Seriously.

It's hard to argue with logic like that. Ablett's high profile signing was good for getting dimpled, oversized bums on seats at GMPVXCVFGR Stadium but he is the weakest link in a midfield that statistically has the 17th weakest ruck division in the competition. In effect, he's the tomato of the Geelong fruit salad midfield. Good on his own, technically a fruit, but just ruins the fruit salad when added in.

Gazza, Junior, in full flight you were great to watch. Like Geelong's best and brightest you chose to spend your best years elsewhere and I wish you well on your retirement. Welcome to this year's Bottom 50.
Kudos OP for comforting Gazza after his poor showing

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Well, there's one thing the Bottom 50 and Gary Jnr have in common
I can think of a few (if I were taking the viewpoint of somebody who doesn't enjoy the Bottom 50):
1. Both overrated by their fans.
2. Both have been on a steady decline from 2014 onwards.
3. Ablett only goes in for the cheap uncontested ball. Mofra only goes in for the cheap uncontested likes.
4. Ablett isn't even the best footballer in his own family (Ablett's dad is). Mofra isn't even the best poster in his own family (Mofra's son is)
5. Ablett was discarded by Geelong. Mofra was discarded by Flight Centre.
 
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frggr

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I can think of a few (if I were taking the viewpoint of somebody who doesn't enjoy the Bottom 50):
1. Both overrated by their fans.
2. Both have been on a steady decline from 2014 onwards.
3. Ablett only goes in for the cheap uncontested ball. Mofra only goes in for the cheap uncontested likes.
4. Ablett isn't even the best footballer in his own family (Ablett's dad). Mofra isn't even the best poster in his own family (Mofra's son )
5. Ablett was discarded by Geelong. Mofra was discarded by Flight Centre.

I was going with this:

2. Both have been on a steady decline from 2014 onwards.

But I like the others, too.
 
Off to a great start so far Mofra !
Bonus points for ensuring maximum melts by listing Gazza before Saturday morning, which is when the Cats flogs will be heading to Eastern Europe en masse for 6 months.
So it begins...

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I can think of a few (if I were taking the viewpoint of somebody who doesn't enjoy the Bottom 50):
1. Both overrated by their fans.
2. Both have been on a steady decline from 2014 onwards.
3. Ablett only goes in for the cheap uncontested ball. Mofra only goes in for the cheap uncontested likes.
4. Ablett isn't even the best footballer in his own family (Ablett's dad is). Mofra isn't even the best poster in his own family (Mofra's son is)
5. Ablett was discarded by Geelong. Mofra was discarded by Flight Centre.
I thought you were nice Maxi.
You've gone all IRA aggro in this post. :p:huh:
 
I thought you were nice Maxi.
You've gone all IRA aggro in this post. :p:huh:
Not at all mate, I personally enjoy Mofra's Bottom 50 and before this year was the one football thing I looked forward to every September.
 
I can think of a few (if I were taking the viewpoint of somebody who doesn't enjoy the Bottom 50):
1. Both overrated by their fans.
2. Both have been on a steady decline from 2014 onwards.
3. Ablett only goes in for the cheap uncontested ball. Mofra only goes in for the cheap uncontested likes.
4. Ablett isn't even the best footballer in his own family (Ablett's dad is). Mofra isn't even the best poster in his own family (Mofra's son is)
5. Ablett was discarded by Geelong. Mofra was discarded by Flight Centre.
All correct, however my personal life is more likely to resemble Gazza Snr (without the bible-bashing bit)
 

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I can think of a few (if I were taking the viewpoint of somebody who doesn't enjoy the Bottom 50):
5. Ablett was discarded by Geelong. Mofra was discarded by Flight Centre.

I'm a big fan of and everywhereflight centre
greer-gardiner-1120266.jpg
 

MC Bad Genius

No, not THAT MC Bad Genius. The other one.
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Aiight, first semi-serious list of players Mofra could include. Influenced naturally by who's likely to cause the most supporter outrage.

Adelaide: Tex, Betts
Brisbane: Hodge, Taylor
Carlton: Silvagni, Thomas, Casboult, Lobbe, Jones, Kerridge
Collingwood: Fasolo, Elliott, Wells, Moore, Aish
Freo: B.Hill, Bennell, Every Tall Forward
Geelong: "Holy Trinity" as a single entry, Taylor, Buzza, Smith, Cockatoo, S.Selwood, Parsons, Crameri, Menzel
GC: Lynch & May as a single entry
GWS: Deledio, Griffin, "Dog Act" Cameron
Hawthorn: O'Brien (leave him out and I burn Bigfooty to the ground), Frawley, Schoenmakers, Langford
Melbourne: Lewis, Vince
Norf: Majak, Hartung, Waite
Port: Watts, Motlop, Rockliff
Richmond: Castagna, Cotchin
St.Kilda: Anyone who isn't Jack Steven
Swans: Jack, Hannebery, Rohan, Tippett
West Coast: Gaff
Bulldogs: BOYD, Suckling, Wood, Redpath
Not so sure about some of the suggestions from other teams, but the Swans nominations are all highly likely, with Tippett sneaking in under the CSC (Colin Sylvia Clause).
 
Ah yes the ever-asked for Bay 13 Bukkake thread..
In which Mofra plays the role of a super-dedicated newsreader..
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:eek::thumbsu:
Observe as he dutifully plows onwards with his list seemingly oblivious of the boatloads of poster goo that is dumped all over him as he counts down through the list..:eek::eek::thumbsu:
 
Player #49 - Dan Hannerbury


Pictured: Contact above the knee
Also pictured: The moment Swans fans revealed they failed anatomy

Dan Hannerbery is a Sydney Swans midfielder who used to be good but is now slightly below vanilla, therefore he'd be a perfect fit for St Kilda who are coincidently chasing him. He's so cooked that even North aren't linked to him.

Anyway the 2018 version of Hanners put out reduced averages in every statistical category you can think of - kicks, handballs, marks, tackles, goals, assists, inside 50s, clearances, rebound 50s.... oh wait I stand corrected. He did have an increase in clangers. Weirdly for a midfielder, Dan has not bounced the ball once this year which indicates a desperate lack of run and carry (the opposite of Footscray teenager).

It has been a reduction in performance and satisfaction normally reserved for sober Mofra the night after drunk Mofra ha... whoops too much information. And misplaced too, talking about second efforts in a Dan Hannerbery post.

The biggest change though has been his kicking. Unlike drunk or sober Mofra he lacks penetration and often hits the wrong target, his disposal efficiency is down so not only isn't he carrying the ball, or getting as much of it, he using it poorly too.
This has not gone unnoticed by the Swans powerbrokers, with even McVeigh giving Hanners a spray during round 23 and Swans posters noting he "puts a lot of energy into showing everyone he is hurt". Aw, cheer up emo Hanners.

Fun facts: Dan once won the Ron Evans medal in 2010, coincidently named after Ron Evans who was an Essendon chairman. His dad was Footscray Bulldogs player Matt Hannerbury who only had a short career because he went to a private school. Matt's brother played for Collingwood and Essendon, and his brother in law played for Carlton so the generation above Dan have the big four Victorian clubs covered.

Dan, Hanners, enjoy that long juicy fat contract wherever you end up playing next year. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for the very first time.
 
Was really hoping he'd be much higher. :(

This has not gone unnoticed by the Swans powerbrokers, with even McVeigh giving Hanners a spray during round 23 and Swans posters noting he "puts a lot of energy into showing everyone he is hurt". Aw, cheer up emo Hanners.

I like how it took until he was s**t for them to realise this. :D
 

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