Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018

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Player #13 - Gary Rohan

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Pictured: "Get it? The G is for 'Gary'"

Gary Rohan is a former first round pick for Sydney who has been so mentally scarred by poor Grand Final performances that he moved clubs to a team that will ensure he never gets that opportunity again.

Gary runs really fast and has red hair so attracts a fair bit of attention on the field, it's just that its seems the poor guy just never managed to get the other parts of his game together. In his 11 games this year he managed over 10 disposals just once (against Geelong), and averages only 5.3 effective disposals per game which if you break down a 120 minute games means he generally waits over 22 and a half minutes between effective disposals on average.
There is a lot a human being can do in 22 and a half minutes, including visiting all of Geelong's tourist attractions. Twice.

He provides a little over half a goal per game which normally wouldn't make him that much of an attacking option although at Geelong that puts him equal 12th on their goal kicking ladder, a mere 20 behind Menzel. He also averages 1 and a half tackles more per game than Menzel and a whopping 7 metres gained more too (while being behind in every other meaningful statistical category).

Gary is also good friends with his Cobden teammate Ben Cunnington who is probably the opposite footballer to Gary in every way in that he's tough, inside, finds a lot of the ball and hardly has any hair at all. Cunnington also founded something called the Shinboner Cattle Company which I only mention as osso bucco is delicious and if you disagree you are hideously wrong.

Gary also faced some personal tragedy this year which meant I spent a good portion of it wishing nothing but blessings to Gaz and his family, so hopefully he is happy at Geelong next year and gets plenty of family support.

Gazza, Rozza, enjoy surfing in a suit next to your new teammates. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.
 
Player #12 - Tim O'Brien

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Pictured: How to drop a mark, gracefully

Tim O'Brien is a tall Hawthorn 'utility' in that they've tried him as a KPD at VFL and AFL level at times as he hasn't done much as a KPF.

He was given the 23 jumper after Buddy departed to Sydney for money less scrutiny and hasn't exactly filled Buddy's large shoes. The downgrade from Buddy to TOB reminds me of the time Miranda Kerr broke up with Orlando Bloom and started dating James Packer. I think we can guess why,

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Pictured: Money. It works

In 2018 TOB managed 12 games of such outstanding mediocrity his next move is surely into parliament. He kicked 4 goals for the season from 12 games - 3 of those against Melbourne in a round 4 drubbing by 67 points, before kicking one more goal for the season in a 53 point drubbing of the Suns in a low scoring affair.

Outside of this he didn't get that much of it averaging less than 8 effective disposals per game, pinched hit in the ruck a few times to average 2.6 hit outs per game, and just shaded Dan Menzel by 0.3 average tackles per game. Bear in mind he's spent 6 pre-seasons in the Hawthorn system that has produced more than their share of handy footballers over that time led by a coach that seems to know a thing or two about the game.

The main problem is that TOB is an 'almost there' type footballer. He looks beautiful running and jumping at the ball only to not quite take the mark. As a defender he doesn't really intercept mark and often just bombs the ball long rather than look for a rebounding target. In his last game of the year he ran and jumped at the ball in Tassie, played CHF for the vast majority of the game and he finishes with zero marks from a bunch of attempts. He's almost big enough to be a KPP but not quite, and he's from Mount Gawler in SA which has tap water that is almost safe to drink.

So Tim, congratulations on almost making it to the bottom 10. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.
 

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There can't be 11 worse than O'Brien. I've never seen a player almost mark the ball as often as he does
Prick always plays well against us though
 
Imagine making two teams of bottom 50 players playing off.
Jed Lamb and Gary Rohan trying to kick more goals than McCarthy and O'Brian.
Roughead would clack heads with Longer without either of them touching the ball, and Bugg would probably be chasing Ballentyne out of the ground with a running chainsaw.
 
Mar 10, 2007
52,545
98,134
Melbourne
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Charlton Athletic, Roys FFC
Imagine making two teams of bottom 50 players playing off.
Jed Lamb and Gary Rohan trying to kick more goals than McCarthy and O'Brian.
Roughead would clack heads with Longer without either of them touching the ball, and Bugg would probably be chasing Ballentyne out of the ground with a running chainsaw.

Sounds like a typical Saints Mad Monday......
 
Player #12 - Tim O'Brien

AFL+Rd+20+Melbourne+v+Hawthorn+Xeib-aLTdDyl.jpg

Pictured: How to drop a mark, gracefully

Tim O'Brien is a tall Hawthorn 'utility' in that they've tried him as a KPD at VFL and AFL level at times as he hasn't done much as a KPF.

He was given the 23 jumper after Buddy departed to Sydney for money less scrutiny and hasn't exactly filled Buddy's large shoes. The downgrade from Buddy to TOB reminds me of the time Miranda Kerr broke up with Orlando Bloom and started dating James Packer. I think we can guess why,

170210202642-anna-nicole-smith-and-husband-j-howard-marshall.jpg

Pictured: Money. It works

In 2018 TOB managed 12 games of such outstanding mediocrity his next move is surely into parliament. He kicked 4 goals for the season from 12 games - 3 of those against Melbourne in a round 4 drubbing by 67 points, before kicking one more goal for the season in a 53 point drubbing of the Suns in a low scoring affair.

Outside of this he didn't get that much of it averaging less than 8 effective disposals per game, pinched hit in the ruck a few times to average 2.6 hit outs per game, and just shaded Dan Menzel by 0.3 average tackles per game. Bear in mind he's spent 6 pre-seasons in the Hawthorn system that has produced more than their share of handy footballers over that time led by a coach that seems to know a thing or two about the game.

The main problem is that TOB is an 'almost there' type footballer. He looks beautiful running and jumping at the ball only to not quite take the mark. As a defender he doesn't really intercept mark and often just bombs the ball long rather than look for a rebounding target. In his last game of the year he ran and jumped at the ball in Tassie, played CHF for the vast majority of the game and he finishes with zero marks from a bunch of attempts. He's almost big enough to be a KPP but not quite, and he's from Mount Gawler in SA which has tap water that is almost safe to drink.

So Tim, congratulations on almost making it to the bottom 10. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

*******
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Prick always plays well against us though
Turns into some sort of Max Gawn/Buddy Franklin hybrid everytime he plays us... absolute puss for the rest of the year.
 
Mar 10, 2007
52,545
98,134
Melbourne
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Charlton Athletic, Roys FFC
Turns into some sort of Max Gawn/Buddy Franklin hybrid everytime he plays us... absolute puss for the rest of the year.

If it’s any consolation, most clubs have someone in this category. Recently, ours has been Jack Watts....

Not that you would admit that in public.....
 
Compelling comparison.

And you've rated Cam #14th worst this year.

Give that #1 Draftee a number 1 in the list that counts Mofra.

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This is like when you come up to the traffic lights and you need to choose between the lane with the Tractor pulling 2 trailers loaded up with Hay , or the Extra Wide vehicle with someone's house on the back.
 

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