More concussions that a NRL player’s wife.. good lord. Gold.Player #2 - Paddy McCartin
Pictured (in David Attenborough voice): The natural habitat of the McCartin, dropping a mark at VFL level
Patrick McCartin is a former no#1 draft pick who plays for St Kilda who have a proud history of (weird looking) KPFs. Riewoldt, Hall, Plugger, Gehrig, Cowboy Neale, etc. It's extremely unlikely that 'Gappy' adds to this list despite meeting the 'weird looking' requirement.
Now it needs to be said Paddy has had a few challenges along the way, and I don't just mean the irresistible midnight call of the fridge.
He has diabetes (like GWS' Sam Reid and Dale Weightman), a large gap between his teeth and let's face it in past years he's copped more concussions than an NRL player's wife.
None of that matters when the guy wants to play a stay at home full forward role in the modern era where's it's basically a non-existent role.
First of all, he's got a solid build for an amateur wrestler but AFL is a running sport. Modern players are expected to run, dummy run, guard space (Nick Maxwell was ahead of his time!), and as a forward you need to lead. Gappy can lead - once. Sometimes twice. But he's no Nick Riewoldt (who'd want to see him naked anyway). On top of this he has the turning circle of a BHP iron ore train. But that's not his biggest problem either.
'Mattress Guts' (as he's known at VFL level) reacts to the play rather than makes it. Unless he's delivered the ball on a platter he just doesn't get near it. He did manage to get 13 games this year because... St Kilda (there's nobody else) but he's like the 7th person in an orgy, just making up the numbers. True story. He also tends to fumble under pressure which is... alright, no more orgy stories.
It just wasn't a great pick all round and reeks of St Kilda panicking and taking a KPF because their value is high rather than taking the best available player at pick 1. With Riewoldt they're batting at 50% with no 1 picks in recent history: Even Carlton have nailed more no 1 picks this century and the Washington Generals send them sympathy cards each festive season.
Of course, we could just take St Kilda fans' opinion into account too:
PS - this year he kicked 12 goals 17 behinds, so he clearly shares the same goal kicking coach that Jack Billings does down at Seaford/Moorabbin/Revs. That's an accuracy rate of 41.4% which is also happens to be the ATAR of Ms Duthie.
Pictured: Well if you didn't want us to know your ATAR you shouldn't have left your laptop open.
PS get used to that word - laptop. It might come in handy, career wise
Just to rub further salt into the wounds, his younger brother Tom has been drafted by the Swans and despite being four years younger has already overtaken him. Don't you hate it when a younger sibling is doing better than you?
Pictured: A clash hotly anticipated by hundreds of fans each season: The concession sessions
Paddy, Gappy, Mattress Guts. Sorry to hear Max King is on the list now, he looks a gun. And Josh Battle looks promising too. Enjoy the festive season and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.