Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

[Mofra]

Hi Bay,

Now that the season is over for the 11 s**t clubs (teams that finish 8th don't count) it is time to drag down a bunch of professional footballers, all of whom have reached greater athletic heights than we have, to our collective levels of sloth, debauchery and bad grammar.
If you are easily offended, I suggest you take a gander at the current world we live in and promptly STFU.

The rules
- My listings are final. If you disagree with me, you are wrong.
- Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded, although there is occasionally an allowance given for extraordinary spudness in the face of battle - especially for players who have spent extra time in the AFL environment and/or were first round picks.
- Players who have not played a senior game this year are excluded.
- Weightings have been granted for those who are over-rated, over paid, divers, are noted squibs and/or who are overtly Gen Z/Hipster.
- Melts about player inclusions / exclusions are highly encouraged.
- (New age new rule for 2019): The important thing is the players identify as Bottom 50

Players
#50 - Dayne Beams
#49 - Chad Wingard
#48 - Eddie Betts
#47 - Scott Selwood
#46 - Jack Martin
#45 - Lachie Henderson
#44 - Chris Masten
#43 - David MacKay
#42 - The Wagners
#41 - Billy Gowers
#40 - Nathan Hrovat
#39 - David Armitage
#38 - Fletcher Roberts
#37 - Neville Jetta
#36 - Rhys Stanley
#35 - Brett Deledio
#34 - Anthony Mcdonald-Tipungwuti
#33 - Nathan Jones
#32 - Kyle Hartigan
#31 - Aaron Sandilands
#30 - Billy Stretch
#29 - Paul Puopolo
#28 - Mason Wood
#27 - Aaron Francis
#26 - Ben Stratton
#25 - Assorted McDonalds
#24 - Daniel Menzel
#23 - Lewis Taylor
#22 - Sam Weideman
#21 - Jake Carlisle
#20 - Steven Motlop
#19 - Charlie Dixon
#18 - Taylor Walker
#17 - Sam Frost
#16 - Shane Mumford
#15 - Josh Jenkins
#14 - Kieran Jack
#13 - Phill Inn
#12 - Zac Smith
#11 - Mitch McGovern
#10 - Buddy Franklin
#9 - Braydon Preuss
#8 - Steven May
#7 - Jesse Hogan
#6 - Dan Hannebery
Bottom 50 Lifetime Achievement Award 2019: Gary Rohan
#5 - David Myers
#4 - Jacob Townsend
#3 - Hayden Ballantyne
#2 - Zac Clarke
#1 - Bryce Gibbs

 

[Dinsdale]

Hurry up you flog and name #50 !!

 

[radiojake]

look forward to the entire Crows squad being named one by one

 

[NetworkNerd]

Paul Puopolol should make an appearance.

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Subscribed

 

[Mofra]

Player #50 - Dayne Beams


Pictured: After 7 games in a row, Dayne was determined to win back his 'rock, paper, scissors' losses.

I bet you didn't see this coming?
Dayne Beams was traded from the Brisbane Lions back to Collingwood for two first rounders and a third round pick, with two third rounders also heading to Collingwood. The trade was done for the equivalent of... shut up Dayne, they're points not 'odds'.

So Dayne's 2019 didn't quite go to plan. On field he only managed 9 games and suffered a decline is almost every statistical category which is a very worrying sign for a 29 year old that cost two first round draft picks. Ignoring 2016 when he only played two games, his year at Collingwood was worse than any year he spent at Brisbane. Making things worse, he is part of a midfield group fed by Brodie Grundy who is arguably the best player in the game and certainly the best ruck.

Off field, Dayne was subject to more rumours than pre-2017 Kevin Spacey.
Taking time off for issues related to being called Dayne, rumours have persisted all year about gambling debts, having mood wings related to gambling losses, bikies rocking up to Collingwood training to 'collect' and something to do with betting. It's all too hard to keep TABs on.

Dayne, Beamsey, mate. Listen to Kenny Rogers very carefully and hopefully you get your career and life back on track. Thank you for kicking off this years' Bottom 50. No, can't spare you a pineapple.

 

[Dinsdale]

Player #50 - Dayne Beams

its about bloody time!, we've been waiting minutes for this.

 

[FISTO]

If my boy Gazza Rohan makes the list I will find you IRL

(subscribed)

 

[leobarryustar]

Did Tom Boyd play a game this year?

 

[Chaisa]

Did Tom Boyd play a game this year?

Not at AFL level.

Honestly thought Beams could be even lower...but there's going to be a lot of competition this year. Half of Melbourne and Adelaide's lists, for example....

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Did Tom Boyd play a game this year?

He is still playing this game in your head, 3 years after it happened.

 

[ozzz]

look forward to the entire Crows squad being named one by one

Can we have Gibbs and Betts back then? And Sauce?

 

[HAPPY BUDDHA]

Haha, I think Tex Walker may be the only captain to make this list.

 

[radiojake]

Haha, I think Tex Walker may be the only captain to make this list.

Still kicked 43 goals and 9th on Coleman List

Considering the (lack of) delivery he had, not a terrible season when you look at it objectively

But we are in the bay so objectivity be damned

 

[Andrew Birch]

Haha, I think Tex Walker may be the only captain to make this list.

 

[charcoalchicken]

He is still playing this game in your head, 3 years after it happened.

#rentfree

 

[HAPPY BUDDHA]

View attachment 735126

Ahh of course, how can anyone forget this potato?

 

[A Cut Above]

Player #50 - Dayne Beams

View attachment 735057
Pictured: After 7 games in a row, Dayne was determined to win back his 'rock, paper, scissors' losses.

I bet you didn't see this coming?
Dayne Beams was traded from the Brisbane Lions back to Collingwood for two first rounders and a third round pick, with two third rounders also heading to Collingwood. The trade was done for the equivalent of... shut up Dayne, they're points not 'odds'.

So Dayne's 2019 didn't quite go to plan. On field he only managed 9 games and suffered a decline is almost every statistical category which is a very worrying sign for a 29 year old that cost two first round draft picks. Ignoring 2016 when he only played two games, his year at Collingwood was worse than any year he spent at Brisbane. Making things worse, he is part of a midfield group fed by Brodie Grundy who is arguably the best player in the game and certainly the best ruck.

Off field, Dayne was subject to more rumours than pre-2017 Kevin Spacey.
Taking time off for issues related to being called Dayne, rumours have persisted all year about gambling debts, having mood wings related to gambling losses, bikies rocking up to Collingwood training to 'collect' and something to do with betting. It's all too hard to keep TABs on.

Dayne, Beamsey, mate. Listen to Kenny Rogers very carefully and hopefully you get your career and life back on track. Thank you for kicking off this years' Bottom 50. No, can't spare you a pineapple.

During happier times

 

[banzai]

Surely Melbourne and Adelaide dominate this list. May has to be a chance for top 5

 

[AFDogs]

Oh my... Beams at 50. I can't wait for those who are 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20. 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49

 

[RAPPA]

Fasolo for sure

 

[AFDogs]

Early prediction, Mitch McGovern at 11 for the amount of kgs he needed to lose to be AFL standard.

 

[B4Bear]

Hopefully the OP will have it finished before the second coming. Slowing down in his demented old age.

 

[Chaisa]

Early prediction, Mitch McGovern at 11 for the amount of kgs he needed to lose to be AFL standard.

One wonders what Andrew was feeding the two as youngsters

 

[Bernie L]

Waiting eagerly for Jenkins...Gibbs....Hartigan....Jacobs....and Gibbs and Jenkins. Fuqq, for the year they had, surely they get named twice!!