Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

LittleG

Premiership Player
Nov 18, 2015
4,610
5,001
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
I think Gary Rohan will get it all together in 2020 and finally reach his true potential with a breakout year.

He has been threatening for a long time.

Mof's bottom 10.
Rohan might not be eligible for the Bottom 10, now that he has the lifetime achievement award. But then, Mof makes the rules up as he is going...


Mofra
Can the lifetime award become ‘The Rohan’? OR would ‘The Swan’ be better?
 

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LittleG

Premiership Player
Nov 18, 2015
4,610
5,001
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
1) fu** you, and

2) “The Rohan” does have a great ring to it
Just imagine a how The Swan could be an actual figurine mounted on wood with red & white streamers attached to the wings. The Swan would naturally have to look limp, ineffectual and lifeless.

We could then present one to the yearly winner and film it. You would be able to see the awestruck reaction on YouTube and be able to move frame by frame until you find the moment the player realises the significance of the award.

For this reason alone, The Swan is better than a Rohan figurine.
 

Stronzo

Premium Platinum
Mar 6, 2007
27,080
17,700
Florence
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
The Exers
No award deserve to be named after Gary Rohan, I don’t care how shit it is.

The only exception might be calling an award for not having an award named after you award.
 

Mofra

Moderator
Dec 6, 2005
44,201
114,736
Footscray
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray, The Exers
Player #5 - David Myers

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Pictured: A horrible franchise who is an embarrassment to the AFL and world sport more generally, in a match against the Gold Coast Suns.

David Myers is a former pick #6 who has a huge body and can kick the ball a mile on his left peg. On paper he should be exactly what Essendon need, but we all know their attitude to keeping things on paper.

At 191cm and 90kgs Myers should be an intimidating ball winner at AFL level but he just isn't. A member of Essendon's leadership group, he showed great leadership by personally dropping an underperforming member of their on-ball brigade this year: Himself. David mentioned he wanted the younger guys at Essendon to "develop quickly" but the last time somebody wanted the young guys at Essendon to develop quickly it ended badly for all concerned.

On field at AFL level this year Myers didn't quite have the impact he wanted. Managing 7 games for an average of almost 15 touches, he played a handful of games in the first 8 rounds and took a long break before coming back in round 21, his last game. Things went ok for the Bombers who kicked the first and last couple of goals that game, with the teeny weeny issue of letting through 21 goals straight in the middle of the game. That 104 smashing was David's last game of football this year (and quite possibly my favourite), a year in which Myers failed to add to his winning finals tally of... zero.

123 games since his debut in 2008 and he has just a handful of H&A wins to show for it. A highly touted draft pick who is part of Essendon's leadership group. Myers couldn't get more Essendon is he opened a tanning/fake boner salon where all the treatments were done off site, a bowls club forced the shop to relocate to Tullamarine, 34 shop staff were banned from tanning for 12 months and a review of the scant remaining paperwork showed the business had not made a profit since 4 September 2004.

Myers retired at the end of 2019 telling fans he 'lost the drive to compete' which doesn't really rule him out of playing for Essendon anyway. He still played the VFL finals series where he finally got to experience a finals win (sandwiched between two losses). David really seems at peace with stepping away from AFL football so he may as well head back to the WAFL to mentor the next generation of Geelong talent who will get homesick after 12 months and won't trust the local Corio tattoo parlours to finish that tribal tattoo correctly anyway.

David, Myers-y, it's been real. Good luck with the next phase of life and thank you for being a part of the Bottom 50 for 2019.
 

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Laphroaig

I Hate You
Jul 22, 2013
13,664
19,567
AFL Club
Carlton
Player #5 - David Myers
David mentioned he wanted the younger guys at Essendon to "develop quickly" but the last time somebody wanted the young guys at Essendon to develop quickly it ended badly for all concerned.
Poor research.

It was a pretty shit outcome for the horse fu** er and Bruce Francis.

But it ended really well for the supporters of 17 AFL clubs; and a heap of pompous, pious pre-millenial offended campaigners. In both senses of campaigner.
 

Cleavy

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 28, 2004
28,786
16,607
Melbourne
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Just imagine a how The Swan could be an actual figurine mounted on wood with red & white streamers attached to the wings. The Swan would naturally have to look limp, ineffectual and lifeless.

We could then present one to the yearly winner and film it. You would be able to see the awestruck reaction on YouTube and be able to move frame by frame until you find the moment the player realises the significance of the award.

For this reason alone, The Swan is better than a Rohan figurine.
It should be one of those drinking birds.
 

Corpuscles

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 3, 2006
7,626
409
Lunatic Park
AFL Club
Sydney
If you look at the history of pick 6, it very rarely works out. Would be better off trading it for a couple of picks in the 50's

err... Jared McVeigh? #6 250+ games Premiership co captain
Not rated outside of Sydney maybe? (certainly!!!)

I wuz sorta jokin'

But, sh!t scared, we finally get to nearly the Bluzzz (or Freo) territory and end up with a dud!
 

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