Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

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Player #4 - Jacob Townsend

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Pictured: Jacob does his best to stop Jake Lever from choking

Jacob Townsend is an ex-GWS player who moved to Victoria to continue his AFL career, and because he didn't choose Carlton or Collingwood he achieved team success. That was way back in 2017, when he kicked half of his career goals in just 5 games.

2018 provided Jacob with 10 opportunities to impress, to which he responded with mixed results. So after another pre-season, would 2019 allow him to continue his golden month or so from 2017 which saw him kick 6 goals in a game, when he won the JJ Liston medal for the best VFL player, and a flag (albeit against a side that basically forfeited the game)?

Well, he managed one game in 2019. Uno. Solo. Single. Tigerboyz's sex life. Just one.

That would seem like a pretty disappointing result by itself, but that single game was for the eventual premiers. They were smashed by Geelong to the tune of 67 points. Townsend had 3 disposals. Three. He had three clangers. 3. Richmond would have, literally, been better off without him on the team sheet that day. They could have put a number of inanimate objects on the field for no discernable difference:

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So that was round 12 which was the low point of Richmond's season. Townsend would sadly not get another chance at AFL level and would be delisted at season's end, Never fear, because GWS will come to the rescue! They are considering signing him for their list, presumably as a Findlayson replacement.

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"I shhhhhhhhhhat myself"

On another note, Jacob Townsend has an extremely well filled out and detailed Wikipedia page for a 48 game player. It covers his career in excruciating details and provides 81 references which I assume are every mention of Jacob in the media, ever. I'm not sure if there are any budding McIntoshes in the family but I wouldn't let him drive anywhere near a dog just to be safe.

Oh, and Dermot Brereton once said Jacob is possibly the toughest player in the game (yep that made it to his Wiki page). Then again, Dermot also once said that as a kid he sat at the back of the bus so he'd get a longer ride for the same fare.

Jacob, good luck next year. Thanks for your service and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.
Well someone likes killing Bambi :p
 

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Dom Tyson sums up Melbourne. Eastern suburbs private school hack.


His name is "Dom" and he has a tidy groomed prefect appearance so Melbourne recruiters were probably pulling themselves.

As was Brad Scott.
 
Sheet.

That's like cooking speed back into sudafed.

If Dom hadn't been cruelled by injury, he could have been a good shout here.
 
Harsh on Z Clarke.

Delisted by the 14th side and then played WAFL.

On minimum wage.

Worst culture in the AFL.

What the fu** did anyone expect????
i agree actually, considering the guy:
a) played for Freo;
b) did his acl; and
c) fought back onto an afl list,

i think he did pretty well for himself. Not Essenscum, just himself
 
Player #1 - Bryce Gibbs

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Pictured: The perfect antidote to the power stance

Like death, taxes, and WA based AFL club drug scandals, some things are just inevitable. Many of you picked it early: Bryce Gibbs is the no 1 player in the 2019 Bottom 50.

Bryce is a former no 1 pick who won the Carlton B&F in 2014 joining other past winners such as David Teague and Jason Moran. He played 231 games for Carlton in which they were s**t the whole time, except for that one time they beat Richmond in a final despite finishing 9th. That should actually read 209 games he willingly played for Carlton, and 22 more games he reluctantly ran out onto the field for in 2017 after he tried to get to Adelaide at the end of 2016. Speaking of consent, this simply has to be played here:



Context: Carlton asked a huge price at the trade table for Gibbs in 2016. South Australia is a state where Best & Less represents high-end fashion, so they didn't want to pay the high price Carlton asked for. Carlton then held Bryce to his contract, which helped them climb the ladder to the dizzying heights of 16th in 2017. That year Adelaide lost the Grand Final by 48 points and Adelaide, thinking they were in their window, again targeting Gibbs.

What did Adelaide pay for a 29 1/2 year old?
Two first rounders (lol) and a second rounder (cripes) and pick 77 (which about Sam Mitchell's value). They got Gibbs and some Carton picks back. I've seen better value on a Duritz betting slip. After a poor 2018 where Adelaide missed the finals, Gibbs decided that was the time to sledge his old club:

“I loved my time last year even though we won 12 games that is 10 more than I would have won if I still had of been at Carlton,” Gibbs said to The Advertiser.

Ouch.

But what would have hurt even more was his 2019 season in which Adelaide again failed to fire and Gibbs was dropped more times than Tigerboyz was as an infant.
Actually it was four times. A former no 1 pick, traded for more than two first rounders, dropped four times. He was 'proud' to have made it back into the team for their last four games (three losses) which makes him the tambourine player of the AFL - not really part of the band but happy to be playing sometimes anyway.

So Adelaide, who would not extend stars like Alex Keath beyond age 30 because of the age of their list, have a fringe player on big coin on their list who is currently 30 years and 7 months old contracted for... two more years? Is there any way a decision this bad can be found in picture form?

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Found it

It's a huge fall from grace for someone who was genuinely A grade at Carlton, who along with 2-3 others carried the team from hilarious joke to merely a mildly concerning organisation bereft of any chance of success in the short or medium term future.

I mean check this out:



From competition's elite for a decade, to barely a fringe player. I knew Adelaide had problems with camps, morale, coaching, football department in-fighting and tap water but this is something else. Gibbs has a roast thread on the Adelaide board indicating that Crows fans are even more angry with Gibbs than they are on the ban on inter-family marriage. His 2020 badge might be the first in SANFL/VFL/AFL history where they put the pin on the front.

Bryce, it's been real. Good luck for next year as one of the few Crows players that want to be there. Thank you for rounding out the Bottom 50 for 2019.
 

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