Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

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Elmer_Judd said:
Lol, I humbly apologize, but in all fairness, I had no idea.

Consider me humiliated 🥴🥴🥴
Click to expand...

Throws an insult then retracts it, classic DivvyBlooz
 
Player #11 - Mitch McGovern

1571706943877.png
Pictured: Mitch looking dead sexy

Mitch McGovern is the biggest hipster in this years' list because he left the Crows 12 months before most of his teammates wanted to. Mitch McGovern is a kind of 'swingman' in that he plays neither end of the ground effectively. His bottom 50 placing matches the number of kilos he needs to drop to play effectively.

Mitch requested a trade to Carlton last year because the Adelaide Crows run camps and clearly the only camping Mitch does is in the line at KFC on tight-arse Tuesdays (that's a specials day and not a St Kilda team-bonding exercise). He was traded for a first round pick because crazy SOSsy broke free of his harness long enough to charge down to Marvel Stadium (shouldn't have borrowed the one Bec uses I guess).

Rocking up to pre-season training looking like he'd been on a tour of Australia's best bakeries with the WCE Cheer squad, he stumbled through most of the season until he was dropped to "improve his fitness" for round 17. Yes, it took Carlton that long to work out a guy carrying a gut and who had dropped in every statistical category from his previous few years was struggling to play due to the demands of modern football (i.e. running). Based on this stunning level of realisation, Carlton should also work out they're no longer part of "the big four' sometime around 2035. That's 16 years, something Essendon fans assure us 'isn't that long'.

Anyway Mitch lost 5kgs during that 'training block' when he worked one on one with the Carlton fitness boss, which I can only assume is a kickboxer named Bruno who drives a car with personalised number-plates. Mitch then returned for three games, including a win against the saints. Outside of his 'scratch and win' tickets at Maccas it was probably Mitch's highlight of the year. I probably shouldn't be so hard on his body shape considering his brother Jeremy looks like a beaten mattress yet is a champion intercept marker. If only he could intercept urine samples too - it would have saved a whole lot of trouble.

Mitch's dad was also an AFL footballer like he and his brother. Andrew played for Sydney before later being an inaugural Fremantle player, which means the family have represented pretty much every state in football except 'ripped'.

Fun fact: Cam Ellis-Yolmen taught Mitch to play the didgeridoo, although early lessons were difficult as Mitch would suck on it then complain the thickshake wasn't coming out.
When asked about his favourite biscuits, he replied "all of them".

Mitch, enjoy the off-season. Who are we kidding, we know you will. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.
 
Mofra said:
Player #11 - Mitch McGovern

View attachment 768840
Pictured: Mitch looking dead sexy

Mitch McGovern is the biggest hipster in this years' list because he left the Crows 12 months before most of his teammates wanted to. Mitch McGovern is a kind of 'swingman' in that he plays neither end of the ground effectively. His bottom 50 placing matches the number of kilos he needs to drop to play effectively.

Mitch requested a trade to Carlton last year because the Adelaide Crows run camps and clearly the only camping Mitch does is in the line at KFC on tight-arse Tuesdays (that's a specials day and not a St Kilda team-bonding exercise). He was traded for a first round pick because crazy SOSsy broke free of his harness long enough to charge down to Marvel Stadium (shouldn't have borrowed the one Bec uses I guess).

Rocking up to pre-season training looking like he'd been on a tour of Australia's best bakeries with the WCE Cheer squad, he stumbled through most of the season until he was dropped to "improve his fitness" for round 17. Yes, it took Carlton that long to work out a guy carrying a gut and who had dropped in every statistical category from his previous few years was struggling to play due to the demands of modern football (i.e. running). Based on this stunning level of realisation, Carlton should also work out they're no longer part of "the big four' sometime around 2035. That's 16 years, something Essendon fans assure us 'isn't that long'.

Anyway Mitch lost 5kgs during that 'training block' when he worked one on one with the Carlton fitness boss, which I can only assume is a kickboxer named Bruno who drives a car with personalised number-plates. Mitch then returned for three games, including a win against the saints. Outside of his 'scratch and win' tickets at Maccas it was probably Mitch's highlight of the year. I probably shouldn't be so hard on his body shape considering his brother Jeremy looks like a beaten mattress yet is a champion intercept marker. If only he could intercept urine samples too - it would have saved a whole lot of trouble.

Mitch's dad was also an AFL footballer like he and his brother. Andrew played for Sydney before later being an inaugural Fremantle player, which means the family have represented pretty much every state in football except 'ripped'.

Fun fact: Cam Ellis-Yolmen taught Mitch to play the didgeridoo, although early lessons were difficult as Mitch would suck on it then complain the thickshake wasn't coming out.
When asked about his favourite biscuits, he replied "all of them".

Mitch, enjoy the off-season. Who are we kidding, we know you will. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.
Click to expand...

This had a real 'Mof's Greatest Hits' feel about it
 

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Mofra said:
Player #11 - Mitch McGovern

View attachment 768840
Pictured: Mitch looking dead sexy

Mitch McGovern is the biggest hipster in this years' list because he left the Crows 12 months before most of his teammates wanted to. Mitch McGovern is a kind of 'swingman' in that he plays neither end of the ground effectively. His bottom 50 placing matches the number of kilos he needs to drop to play effectively.

Mitch requested a trade to Carlton last year because the Adelaide Crows run camps and clearly the only camping Mitch does is in the line at KFC on tight-arse Tuesdays (that's a specials day and not a St Kilda team-bonding exercise). He was traded for a first round pick because crazy SOSsy broke free of his harness long enough to charge down to Marvel Stadium (shouldn't have borrowed the one Bec uses I guess).

Rocking up to pre-season training looking like he'd been on a tour of Australia's best bakeries with the WCE Cheer squad, he stumbled through most of the season until he was dropped to "improve his fitness" for round 17. Yes, it took Carlton that long to work out a guy carrying a gut and who had dropped in every statistical category from his previous few years was struggling to play due to the demands of modern football (i.e. running). Based on this stunning level of realisation, Carlton should also work out they're no longer part of "the big four' sometime around 2035. That's 16 years, something Essendon fans assure us 'isn't that long'.

Anyway Mitch lost 5kgs during that 'training block' when he worked one on one with the Carlton fitness boss, which I can only assume is a kickboxer named Bruno who drives a car with personalised number-plates. Mitch then returned for three games, including a win against the saints. Outside of his 'scratch and win' tickets at Maccas it was probably Mitch's highlight of the year. I probably shouldn't be so hard on his body shape considering his brother Jeremy looks like a beaten mattress yet is a champion intercept marker. If only he could intercept urine samples too - it would have saved a whole lot of trouble.

Mitch's dad was also an AFL footballer like he and his brother. Andrew played for Sydney before later being an inaugural Fremantle player, which means the family have represented pretty much every state in football except 'ripped'.

Fun fact: Cam Ellis-Yolmen taught Mitch to play the didgeridoo, although early lessons were difficult as Mitch would suck on it then complain the thickshake wasn't coming out.
When asked about his favourite biscuits, he replied "all of them".

Mitch, enjoy the off-season. Who are we kidding, we know you will. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.
Click to expand...
Most of the magoos players at my local footy club are in better shape than that.
 
Mofra said:
Mitch McGovern is the biggest hipster in this years' list because he left the Crows 12 months before most of his teammates wanted to.
Click to expand...
Surely this makes Charlie Cameron an uber-hipster as he left straight after the GF?
 
Mofra barring a miracle, this will be Gary Rohan's 5th consecutive appearance in the bottom 20. Can he be considered for some sort of spud hall of fame
 
Mofra said:
Player #11 - Mitch McGovern

Rocking up to pre-season training looking like he'd been on a tour of Australia's best bakeries with the WCE Cheer squad

Fun fact: Cam Ellis-Yolmen taught Mitch to play the didgeridoo, although early lessons were difficult as Mitch would suck on it then complain the thickshake wasn't coming out.
When asked about his favourite biscuits, he replied "all of them".
Click to expand...

So much win!!!
 
Mofra said:
That's 16 years, something Essendon fans assure us 'isn't that long'.
Click to expand...
tenor.gif
 
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