Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

[FurTheWin]

Ooooh, look who's all confident about Jezza going to Geelong as a Free Agent.

How dare you!
I've watched a few Giants games this year, and Cameron was holding it together
But if he should choose to swap those strange orange clothes for a smart navy and white uniform, multiple Colemans and some Premiership medals, then good luck to the man I say

 

[Laphroaig]

Frost, Sicily, Gunston and Mitchell don't deserve to be in that list

Sicily absolutely deserves a place on the extended list, if not in the run on 50.

A. * wit.
B. Sook
C. Only player in the modern game to single handedly lose multiple unlosable games for his team by being an A. * wit & B. Sook
D. Ranga
E. Guaranteed to mega trigger every Hawthorn supporter if included.

Now tell me that doesn't scream qualified nominee. Get around it Mofra

 

[FurTheWin]

Looking forward to what this year's Arnotts biscuits will be

You've had enough biscuits, ya chubby Melbourne shut ins

Mofra I expect this year to feature top 10 green veg

 

[Laphroaig]

Mitchell? Who 1st year back from snapping his leg in half was one of the better mids in the competition ?

Are you taking the piss?

A former Brownlow medalist comes back in and his struggling team instantly gets worse?

Reinventing himself from a 35 low damage possession player to a 25 no damage possession player.

 

[hawkman]

Ben Brown must go close to number 1 after rejecting large 4 year contact to now no club really wanting him

 

[HairyO]

Are you taking the piss?

A former Brownlow medalist comes back in and his struggling team instantly gets worse?

Reinventing himself from a 35 low damage possession player to a 25 no damage possession player.

28 possessions, 8 tackles against Carlton. Though Carlton are everyones easy beats.

 

[A Cut Above]

Has Mofra ever done a retroactive achievement award?

 

[RossFC]

If Port Adelaide have someone, it should be Riley Bonner.

 

[hawkman]

If Port Adelaide have someone, it should be Riley Bonner.

The Hoff was pretty awful

 

[RossFC]

The Hoff was pretty awful

I put that down to being old.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

Coniglio is a lock. How many captains get dropped?

 

[hawkman]

I put that down to being old.

Tell me about it, we have half a team with that issue

 

[Grave Danger]

Hard to pick one over the other, but at least Norths got all they could've expected from wee Jasper...

 

[Mofra]

Player #49 - Nathan Jones


Pictured: I call him "mini-me"

Nathan Jones has been an absolute warrior for an absolute abysmally performed football club over many, many years. He finally got the chance to play finals in 2018, and (unlike Essendon) Nathan Jones got to experience not just one, but two wins. 2019 was a 'reversion to the mean' for the Dees which basically means a turd will sometimes bob down under the surface, but it will still float given a little more time.

Given his standing at the club you can understand why the Demons decided at the end of 2019 to give him one more year. Hell, the entire football world would have given him another year for all he had done for the club...

... and it went about as well as you'd expect, because Melbourne.

Jones managed 8 games where he was a poor reflection of his former self. If any single player in the competition was the 'Meatloaf Grand Final performance' of output, it was Nathan. He posted career lows in almost every category, even including his rookie year where he also played 8 games.
He kicked 1 goals 3 behinds in 2020 so a career as Brisbane's goal-kicking coach is still an option.

Given the selfless kind of guy he appears to be, he was probably happy in 2020 because his brother just had a career best year:


And, I'm guessing from that above photo, he probably treats the family cat with dignity and respect too:

Fun fact: Nathan grew up as a Saints supporter, so is thrilled at the number of wins he got to play in during his career.

Nate, fare thee well. Well done on earning the respect of the AFL world, and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020

 

[frggr]

Holy s**t, I got a like from charcoalchicken - is the prophecy about to be fulfilled?

 

[Laphroaig]

28 possessions, 8 tackles against Carlton.

18 uncontested Which is a typical return.

Lets look at some other key metrics for "one of the best midfielders".

• Clearances: 17th
• Score involvements: 86th
• Disposal efficiency: 127th
• Inside 50s: 61st
• Goal assists: THREE in total. 190th
• One percenters: 314th
• Kick to handball ratio: 0.6
• Contested / uncontested ratio: 0.6

Tells a story, and gives the lie to the myth that Mitchell is an extractor who puts his team mates into space.

In truth, he's a slow seagull with poor disposal.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

Player #50 - Tim English

View attachment 979567
Pictured: Tim has never been afraid to stick his neck out

Tim English was the Bulldogs' first round draft pick after the 2016 season in which they won four finals in a row against sides who were statistically quite undisciplined.
He is a very tall man - 205cm, although 35cm of that is neck. I'm guessing he's only 201cm when it's cold.

The story goes he was a highly skilled midfielder until he was 16, then he had a massive 20cm growth spurt - the second greatest growth spurt in AFL history. Unlike Stewie Dew, Timmy grew in height not circumference.

All pre-season we were fed stories about how much Timmy had grown his game, gotten stronger, and was going to take the AFL by storm. He did in round 7, with a BOG performance and he topped the supercoach highest scoring game chart this year with 204 points against the bombers. He had other games that were pretty good too, against AFL standard opponents. So why is he here?

Well, in round 1 he took on Brodie Grundy and I can only assume he said "step-brother, what are you doing?" at the opening bounce because Grundy flogged him so senselessly Timmy must have been praying for the season to be delayed. At halftime.

That's not to say he didn't have his moments, but the gap between his best and worst games was so vast that his performance reviews were nicknamed "Paddy McCartin's smile". He spent all year as first ruck at the Bulldogs, often rucking solo, yet made it to 23rd in average AFL hitouts. The Bulldogs have now lost the hitouts to their opposition a whopping 40 games in a row. Given the Bulldog ruck stocks are thinner than the casting hopefuls for the lead role in the stage version of Philadelphia, there was SFA the match committee could do about it either.

Fun fact: Tim's nickname is "Chili" because he turns red when he's embarrassed, and because most AFL players would be washing windscreens at traffic lights if they weren't good at football that's the best the other players could come up with.

Timmy, boy, thanks for kicking off the 2020 Bottom 50 in style.

I thought his nickname was "Murder She Wrote" because of how much he looks like Angela Lansbury ...

 

[Mofra]

I thought his nickname was "Murder She Wrote" because of how much he looks like Angela Lansbury ...

View attachment 980316

She would probably win the same number of hit-outs

 

[jsdsgn]

This is gonna be good.

 

[Virgin Dog]

I believe Mofra will have a moment of clarity this year, and we will see a strong Bulldogs presence
Richards, Johannisen, McCrae, Bruce....

One of these is not like the others..

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

Has Mofra ever done a retroactive achievement award?

Bottom 50 legend status. That way, at least he gets acknowledged as one.

 

[miggs]

Blacky Ryan Clarke a sneaky top 10 chance?

 

[Blacky]

Blacky Ryan Clarke a sneaky top 10 chance?

Top 5

 

[TedDougChris]

Stringer would have to feature highly as well....

 

[Tbonefreo]

Love this time of the year