Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

Mofra · Oct 7, 2020

Hi Bay,

2020 has been a great year, and by great I mean GAG the mightiest of Fs.
Given the shortened season and shortened quarters some of you may have been wondering if this would go ahead, but as much as "the cream rises to the top", in a septic tank it ain't cream that floats.

The rules
- My listings are final. If you disagree with me, you are wrong.
- Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded, although there is occasionally an allowance given for extraordinary spudness in the face of battle - especially for players who have spent extra time in the AFL environment and/or were first round picks.
- Players who have not played a senior game this year are excluded.
- Weightings have been granted for those who are over-rated, over paid, divers, are noted squibs and/or who are overtly Gen Z/Hipster.
- Melts about player inclusions / exclusions are highly encouraged.
- Lifetime achievement awarded players are excluded, as they have given us so much joy already

The Players
50 - Tim English
49 - Nathan Jones
48 - Jon Patton
47 - Ben Cunnington
46 - Tim O'Brien
45 - Lachie Hunter
44 - Neville Jetta
43 - Rory Lobb
42 - Tom Cutler
41- Tom & Oscar McDonald
40 - Paddy Dow
39 - Rory Atkins
38 - Adam Tomlinson
37 - Paul Puopolo
36 - Bailey Dale
35 - Kyle Hartigan
34 - Sam Frost
33 - Sam Reid
32 - Jake Kelly
31 - Cale Hooker
30 - Ben Ronke
29 - Orazio Fantasia
28 - Jaidyn Stephenson
27 - Jasper Pittard
26 - Tom Lynch
25 - Tom Scully
24 - David Zaharakis
23 - Brad Crouch
22 - Cam McCarthy
21 - Jack Riewoldt
20 - Tom Bellchambers
19 - Josh Schache
18 - Andrew Phillips
17 - Jack Steven
16 - Steele Sidebottom
15 - Mason Wood
14 - Stephen Coniglio
13 - Sydney Stack
12 - Shane Mumford
11 - Conor McKenna
Lifetime Achievement Award - David MacKay
10 - Ben Stratton
9 - Harley Bennell
8 - Ben Brown
7 - Taylor "Tex" Walker
6 - Billy Gowers
5 - Jared Polec
4 - Mitch McGovern
3 - Jake Stringer
2 - Jesse Hogan
NGB50 (matched bid) - Josh Bruce
1 - Bryce Gibbs

Genghis Tron · Oct 7, 2020

Yeeesssssss!! Been waiting all year for this.

frggr · Oct 7, 2020

Josh Bruce #1 - calling it

Genghis Tron · Oct 7, 2020

Mofra said:
Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded

Strange.

frggr · Oct 7, 2020

Genghis Tron said:
Strange.

Lucky for Marlion Pickett, really

Mofra · Oct 7, 2020

Player #50 - Tim English

Pictured: Tim has never been afraid to stick his neck out

Tim English was the Bulldogs' first round draft pick after the 2016 season in which they won four finals in a row against sides who were statistically quite undisciplined.
He is a very tall man - 205cm, although 35cm of that is neck. I'm guessing he's only 201cm when it's cold.

The story goes he was a highly skilled midfielder until he was 16, then he had a massive 20cm growth spurt - the second greatest growth spurt in AFL history. Unlike Stewie Dew, Timmy grew in height not circumference.

All pre-season we were fed stories about how much Timmy had grown his game, gotten stronger, and was going to take the AFL by storm. He did in round 7, with a BOG performance and he topped the supercoach highest scoring game chart this year with 204 points against the bombers. He had other games that were pretty good too, against AFL standard opponents. So why is he here?

Well, in round 1 he took on Brodie Grundy and I can only assume he said "step-brother, what are you doing?" at the opening bounce because Grundy flogged him so senselessly Timmy must have been praying for the season to be delayed. At halftime.

That's not to say he didn't have his moments, but the gap between his best and worst games was so vast that his performance reviews were nicknamed "Paddy McCartin's smile". He spent all year as first ruck at the Bulldogs, often rucking solo, yet made it to 23rd in average AFL hitouts. The Bulldogs have now lost the hitouts to their opposition a whopping 40 games in a row. Given the Bulldog ruck stocks are thinner than the casting hopefuls for the lead role in the stage version of Philadelphia, there was SFA the match committee could do about it either.

Fun fact: Tim's nickname is "Chili" because he turns red when he's embarrassed, and because most AFL players would be washing windscreens at traffic lights if they weren't good at football that's the best the other players could come up with.

Timmy, boy, thanks for kicking off the 2020 Bottom 50 in style.

Genghis Tron · Oct 7, 2020

frggr said:
Lucky for Marlion Pickett, really

I'll say, anyway ignore me I'm an idiot. Read it as "excluded if under 20 games played for the year"

Mofra · Oct 7, 2020

Genghis Tron said:
I'll say, anyway ignore me I'm an idiot.

You've come to the right place. Welcome, friend.

A Cut Above · Oct 7, 2020

Frankston Rover let us know if you spot Tom Boyd. :drunk:

sthmelb_dimmies · Oct 7, 2020

Tex #1.

Wosh · Oct 7, 2020

Genghis Tron said:
I'll say, anyway ignore me I'm an idiot. Read it as "excluded if under 20 games played for the year"

I can make it easier and thread ban you if you like

Always happy to help.

MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE · Oct 7, 2020

From my team, I'll offer up:
~~Jones~~, Harmes, Brayshaw, Bennell, Hannan, Preuss (under 20 games, but could still qualify under the extraordinary spudness rule), McDonald, McDonald, Neal-Bullen, Jetta, J.Wagner

La Dispute · Oct 7, 2020

Here's an easy 22:

Greenery · Oct 7, 2020

Beveridge has broken Tim English, be lucky to have a Rhys Stanley type career if he keeps getting bashed up every week

Genghis Tron · Oct 7, 2020

Wosh said:
I can make it easier and thread ban you if you like Always happy to help.

I'd like to stay please ma'am. I'll be quiet from now on

banzai · Oct 7, 2020

frggr said:
Lucky for Marlion Pickett, really

If we make the grand final he will have played 20

Sydney Stack could go deep here though. Jack Steven has to be a strong chance for top 10. Joe Daniher also.

A Bit Dusty · Oct 7, 2020

sthmelb_dimmies said:
Tex #1.

No chance Tim Kelly odds on

HAPPY BUDDHA · Oct 7, 2020

A Bit Dusty said:
No chance Tim Kelly odds on

Blah, has upped his performance in every statistic.

Maboir Chol, Sydney Stack & Marlion Pickett on the other hand.

frggr · Oct 7, 2020

banzai said:
If we make the grand final he will have played 20 Sydney Stack could go deep here though. Jack Steven has to be a strong chance for top 10. Joe Daniher also.

Not sure he will - played well for a guy on return from a few years off, when he wasn't stabbed or having jaw issues, of course

Greenery · Oct 7, 2020

hawkman · Oct 7, 2020

La Dispute said:
Here's an easy 22:

View attachment 979626

18

Frost, Sicily, Gunston and Mitchell don't deserve to be in that list

O'Brien and Stratton top 10
Scully and Ceglar top 20
Puopolo top 25

And a bunch of others can fill out the rest of the bottom 50

HAPPY BUDDHA · Oct 7, 2020

frggr said:
Lucky for Marlion Pickett, really

Exactly this. To even call him a spud is an insult to tubers.

frggr · Oct 7, 2020

HAPPY BUDDHA said:
Exactly this. To even call him a spud is an insult to tubers.

Will be good when Freo trade for him though

hawkman · Oct 7, 2020

Jack Watts may not have played a game but really deserves a mention for the last time

RedmanWasHere · Oct 7, 2020

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