Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

[schmuttt]

Pleasure to be reading this again Mofra. Also Nathan Jones lucky not to be higher.

 

[Stronzo]

Pleasure to be reading this again Mofra. Also Nathan Jones lucky not to be higher.

He’s been your most consistent player over the last ten years and now you s**t him out like yesterday’s burrito.

Have you no honour?

 

[schmuttt]

He’s been your most consistent player over the last ten years and now you sh*t him out like yesterday’s burrito.

Have you no honour?

I respect his contributions to the club but he has been crap for a while. Nathan will retire a multi millionaire with dozens of business connections to keep him employed for life, let’s not pretend he has done it hard.

 

[Bont2Bruce]

I respect his contributions to the club but he has been crap for a while. Nathan will retire a multi millionaire with dozens of business connections to keep him employed for life, let’s not pretend he has done it hard.

I reckon it wouldn't have been easy for him being the only decent play at the club under Neeld. Went one year too long, but he's not captain solo in that department.

 

[Mofra]

Player #45 - Lachie Hunter


Pictured: Pretty impressive damage from someone who drinks mid-strength

Lachie Hunter was the Bulldogs Vice-Captain leading into the season, the reigning best and fairest winner, and the best runner at the club. Unfortunately, he extended this running ability into "running from the scene of a drunken accident involving multiple cars".

A little reminder - in mid-April Lachie got into an argument with his girlfriend. You might have missed it, because not every WAG in the AFL is narcissistic enough to run their mouth off on Instagram for every single one of life's inconveniences.
Lachie's response was documented by acclaimed photojournalist Tigerboyz:



In the wash up, Lachie happened "by amazing coincidence" to hit four parked cars outside of teammate Bailey Smith's parent's girlfriend's house, because Lachie apparently loves apostrophes.
Bailey then drove Hunter to the home of Billy Gowers, before the cops arrived. When the police then showed up to Billy's house, Hunter blew a coincidental 0.123 and lost his licence. He was also fined $5k by the Bulldogs with a further $15k suspended. He was also stripped of the vice-captaincy and suspended for four games.

While Hunter did perform well in the 10 games he was on the field, as a senior player and vice-captain you expect far more. He also had to have time off for "personal issues" which may have been secret leadership training, as clearly his efforts to lead thus far were so poor you'd think he was an eastern seaboard state premier.
He also kicked 4 goals 8 behinds for the year so he kicks for goal about as well as he drives.

Later that season Lachie was suspected of eating shoes; I'm not one to cast aspersions but you be the judge:

Pictured: Not the first westie to try and fit multiple studs in their mouth at once

Anyway I'm sure he'll learn from this and use uber for the foreseeable future. I also doubt we'll see Hunter in the Bottom 50 again so unlike Lachie kicking for goal, I just had to take this opportunity.
Welcome to the Bottom 50 Lachie.

 

[TedDougChris]

Player #45 - Lachie Hunter

View attachment 984808
Pictured: Pretty impressive damage from someone who drinks mid-strength

Lachie Hunter was the Bulldogs Vice-Captain leading into the season, the reigning best and fairest winner, and the best runner at the club. Unfortunately, he extended this running ability into "running from the scene of a drunken accident involving multiple cars".

A little reminder - in mid-April Lachie got into an argument with his girlfriend. You might have missed it, because not every WAG in the AFL is narcissistic enough to run their mouth off on Instagram for every single one of life's inconveniences.
Lachie's response was documented by acclaimed photojournalist Tigerboyz:

View attachment 984811

In the wash up, Lachie happened "by amazing coincidence" to hit four parked cars outside of teammate Bailey Smith's parent's girlfriend's house, because Lachie apparently loves apostrophes.
Bailey then drove Hunter to the home of Billy Gowers, before the cops arrived. When the police then showed up to Billy's house, Hunter blew a coincidental 0.123 and lost his licence. He was also fined $5k by the Bulldogs with a further $15k suspended. He was also stripped of the vice-captaincy and suspended for four games.

While Hunter did perform well in the 10 games he was on the field, as a senior player and vice-captain you expect far more. He had to time time off for "personal issues" which may have been secret leadership training, as clearly his efforts to lead thus far were so poor you'd think he was an eastern seaboard state premier.
He also kicked 4 goals 8 behinds for the year so he kicks for goal about as well as he drives.

Later that season Lachie was suspected of eating shoes; I'm not one to cast aspersions but you be the judge:
View attachment 984815
Pictured: Not the first westie to try and fit multiple studs in their mouth at once

Anyway I'm sure he'll learn from this and use uber for the foreseeable future. I also doubt we'll see Hunter in the Bottom 50 again so unlike Lachie kicking for goal, I just had to take this opportunity.
Welcome to the Bottom 50 Lachie.

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Mofra sideswiping dogs players like he is Hunter driving home from the pub.

 

[Yojimbo]

My first two autographs were Tim English and Lachie Hunter, no that's a lie. Sam Lloyd lock for top twenty, Mofra, lock i tells ya !

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

Taking that round one finals loss to the Saints to heart.

 

[Dinsdale]

nice one.

waiting for the grandma police to ask what "time time" means...

 

[A Cut Above]

In the wash up, Lachie happened "by amazing coincidence" to hit four parked cars outside of teammate Bailey Smith's parent's girlfriend's house, because Lachie apparently loves apostrophes.

 

[carnthedons]

Sam Reid a walk up start

Don’t you mean hobble up start?

 

[chuncey]

Mofra, you got parent's and girlfriend's transposed unless you meant the girlfriend of his parents.

 

[Over The Post]

 

[Sydney Kicker]

Probably needs its own thread. But I nominate...

The thing recently seen on Dan Butler's head.

View attachment 984276

 

[Chronz]

Apart from that his year was all 1s and 0s, which is quite ironic considering quite a few Bay 13 Hawk posters appear to be non-binary.

KEK.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Mofra, you got parent's and girlfriend's transposed unless you meant the girlfriend of his parents.

And a rather random placement of apostrophes too, should be
"Bailey Smith’s girlfriend’s parents’ place”
Bailey Smith + 's
girlfriend + 's
parents + '

You’re welcome

 

[carnthedons]

And a rather random placement of apostrophes too, should be
“Bailey Smith’s girlfriend’s parents’ place”
Bailey Smith + ‘s
girlfriend + ‘s
parents + ‘

You’re welcome

Depends, do both her parents live there? Could be only one of her mother/father/non binary parent or perhaps her father is really the milkman. I feel like there’s so much unexplained.

 

[Over The Post]

And a rather random placement of apostrophes too, should be
“Bailey Smith’s girlfriend’s parents’ place”
Bailey Smith + ‘s
girlfriend + ‘s
parents + ‘
You’re welcome

Mate, if your* going to be a grammar Nazi, at least get the characters right. Why are you using an opening single quote instead of an apostrophe?

Bailey Smith`s
girlfriend`s
parents`

Bzzzzt.


* ironic use of "your" just to piss off the self-titled grammatically superior

 

[hawkman]

If this is this year's version of the Arnott's biscuits discussion this is going to be a much shorter thread

 

[Over The Post]

a much shorter thread

I first read that as "shortbread"

 

[Mrlingyhimself]

Yes

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

I'm more concerned about the punctuation in Aaron vandenBerg's name.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Mate, if your* going to be a grammar Nazi, at least get the characters right. Why are you using an opening single quote instead of an apostrophe?

Bailey Smith`s
girlfriend`s
parents`

Bzzzzt.


* ironic use of "your" just to piss off the self-titled grammatically superior

Fixed, kind of. It's me keyboard. I blame being upset to see Lachie being denigrated in this fashion for not noticing.

 

[Mofra]

Player #44 - Neville Jetta


Pictured: "He ducked into it!" - DanWA and Plugger, simultaneously

Neville Jetta is a Melbourne rebounding defender who has played over 150 games since being drafted in 2008. He was delisted and redrafted as a rookie in 2013, and in 2020 was pushed out of the Melbourne side by absolutely nobody of note.

Despite some hiccups on the way, he has been a rare shining light for Melbourne over the years. He even represented Australia in 2017, and unlike the trio of Milne, Brown, and Schneider (Australia's kabaddi representatives in 2016) it was in the hybrid version of AFL/Gaelic/Scotts twins coward punching. For those of you who don't know what kabaddi is you have to hold your breath and talk at the same time while grappling with muscular opponents, making it Bruce McAvaney's dream sport.

2020 hasn't gone to plan. He managed 6 games in which his kicks, marks, tackles... pretty much everything dropped like the bass in a Bulldog player's hotel room at 3am.
It's not the best position to be in the AFL world after the age of 30. He turns 31 in February next year, so of course Collingwood have already spoken to him. Neville's always been good mentor for young kids so that might be Buckley's plan, although having de Goey on the Pies' list would probably cancel that out.
It would be the list-management mentor equivalent of yo-yo dieting.


I tried that yo-yo diet once and put on weight! - Stewie Dew

Fun fact: Jetta is a cousin of Lewis Jetta and a distant cousin of Leroy Jetta. Lewis Jetta is a premiership player and Leroy was one of the Essendon 34.

Neville, good luck next year and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.