Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2021

[Elmer_Judd]

What is more controversial?

Marc Murphy missing out on this year's #1 in Mofra's Bottom 50, or

Andrew Walker losing out to Andrew Krakeour for the 2011 Mark if the Year?

The Carlton supporters will be coming for you over this one, Mof!!!

Nah Most Carlton fans are chill and comfortable with Moff's rankings.

It must really make your balls shrivel that even though Carlton have had so many s**t trucks this season that the general consensus is our list far more talented than ColonWood and that after Melbourne, Dogs and Richmond, we are the most talented Melbourne based team (Geelong don't count as they play in the land time forgot)

 

[Fadge]

It must really make your balls shrivel that even though Carlton have had so many sh*t trucks this season that the general consensus is our list far more talented than ColonWood and that after Melbourne, Dogs and Richmond, we are the most talented Melbourne based team (Geelong don't count as they play in the land time forgot)

This is quite funny.

You've got your jollies that in year 6 of your 3rd consecutive 5 year rebuild, and after finishing 12th, you're middle of the road in VICTORIAN teams in terms of 'talent' (whatever that means)?

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

What is more controversial?

Marc Murphy missing out on this year's #1 in Mofra's Bottom 50, or

Andrew Walker losing out to Andrew Krakeour for the 2011 Mark if the Year?

The Carlton supporters will be coming for you over this one, Mof!!!

Still Walkers mark.

One of the best marks taken in the last 20 years and Walker had close to the perfect sit.

 

[NSWCROW]

In 2013 he took over the Carlton captaincy from Mark Moran

 

[sobrave]

Player #4 - Mitch McGovern
View attachment 1291438
Pictured: Carlton's instructions to Mitch of "model yourself on Lance Whitnall" have backfired spectacularly

Mitch McGovern has continued Carlton's 21st century tradition of trying to trade their way out of mediocrity by overpaying for mediocrity.
Mitch is part of the 'overpaid flankers club' at Carlton which include Martin, Saad and Williams. Mitch represents 25% of this club, but 52% by mass.

A former Crows forward who surprisingly didn't cover himself in controversy this year by either making racist remarks or pretending that Patrick Dangerfield has a friend, Mitch has appeared at the pointy end of the past two Bottom 50s.
I'm sure some of you can recall the gut-laughter around the competition when Carlton signed Mitch up to a 5 year, $800k pa contract only for him to turn up to his first pre-season at Carlton looking so overweight that Garry Lyon tried to steal his wife.
This earned him one of the best nicknames in the competition - brackets - because that's what the number 11 looks like when stretched across his back. It rivals other great nicknames such as 'the lizard' for Sydney's Blakey because he has no shoulders, 'Stiffy' for Boyd Woodcock because he shares Jame Hird's doctor, and 'that $%^&ing gutter trash little twerp' for Damien Barrett, because he's Damien Barrett.

This year Mitch McGovern arguably increased his output if you take his averages into account, which is about as tenuous praise as someone in a work meeting saying "thank you for your contribution, we are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view". He rolled out for 5 games in total which is 7 less than last year, but still managed to kick 6 goals which is not far off his 9 goal tally this year. That works out to be about $133.3k per goal kicked this year which is perhaps even worse value than a BigFooty Platinum NFT.
To put that in perspective $133k could otherwise buy you a decent block of rural land, a 2019 Jaguar F type, or cover Jordan de Goey's legal fees for an entire off-season.

In other positive news for Mitch, he wasn't dropped during this year to conduct an in-season mini-fitness camp which has happened previously during his time at Carlton. This was perhaps due to a combination of 5km restrictions, lockdowns and his local Ubdereats driver retiring 'due to exhaustion', meaning that this year Mitch just spent most of his time at Princes Park listening intently for the heart-warming jingle-jangle of the local ice-cream truck.
Mofra's dad used to tell a young Mofra that the ice-cream truck only played music when it ran out of ice cream, so he could save money. That's a story for another day though.

It is worth noting that Mitch's brother Jeremy is an elite intercept marker who plays for the West Coast Eagles, although he also had a drop in output this year. Mitch's dad was also an AFL footballer who played for Sydney before later becoming an inaugural Fremantle player, meaning football runs in the family (at least something does).
Michael Voss, taking note of Jeremy's style of play, has suggested that Mitch may train in defence this pre-season which will be something unique for Mitch, training during pre-season. I just hope this year he doesn't spend all pre-season turning the training cones upside down in the secret hope that one of them is a Cornetto.

Mitch, good luck with your transition into the defensive unit to fill the void left by Liam Jones' sudden retirement. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.

Absolute pisser this one. I'm not even going to complain that it's yet another Carlton spud

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

Player #4 - Mitch McGovern
View attachment 1291438
Pictured: Carlton's instructions to Mitch of "model yourself on Lance Whitnall" have backfired spectacularly

Mitch McGovern has continued Carlton's 21st century tradition of trying to trade their way out of mediocrity by overpaying for mediocrity.
Mitch is part of the 'overpaid flankers club' at Carlton which include Martin, Saad and Williams. Mitch represents 25% of this club, but 52% by mass.

A former Crows forward who surprisingly didn't cover himself in controversy this year by either making racist remarks or pretending that Patrick Dangerfield has a friend, Mitch has appeared at the pointy end of the past two Bottom 50s.
I'm sure some of you can recall the gut-laughter around the competition when Carlton signed Mitch up to a 5 year, $800k pa contract only for him to turn up to his first pre-season at Carlton looking so overweight that Garry Lyon tried to steal his wife.
This earned him one of the best nicknames in the competition - brackets - because that's what the number 11 looks like when stretched across his back. It rivals other great nicknames such as 'the lizard' for Sydney's Blakey because he has no shoulders, 'Stiffy' for Boyd Woodcock because he shares Jame Hird's doctor, and 'that $%^&ing gutter trash little twerp' for Damien Barrett, because he's Damien Barrett.

This year Mitch McGovern arguably increased his output if you take his averages into account, which is about as tenuous praise as someone in a work meeting saying "thank you for your contribution, we are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view". He rolled out for 5 games in total which is 7 less than last year, but still managed to kick 6 goals which is not far off his 9 goal tally this year. That works out to be about $133.3k per goal kicked this year which is perhaps even worse value than a BigFooty Platinum NFT.
To put that in perspective $133k could otherwise buy you a decent block of rural land, a 2019 Jaguar F type, or cover Jordan de Goey's legal fees for an entire off-season.

In other positive news for Mitch, he wasn't dropped during this year to conduct an in-season mini-fitness camp which has happened previously during his time at Carlton. This was perhaps due to a combination of 5km restrictions, lockdowns and his local Ubdereats driver retiring 'due to exhaustion', meaning that this year Mitch just spent most of his time at Princes Park listening intently for the heart-warming jingle-jangle of the local ice-cream truck.
Mofra's dad used to tell a young Mofra that the ice-cream truck only played music when it ran out of ice cream, so he could save money. That's a story for another day though.

It is worth noting that Mitch's brother Jeremy is an elite intercept marker who plays for the West Coast Eagles, although he also had a drop in output this year. Mitch's dad was also an AFL footballer who played for Sydney before later becoming an inaugural Fremantle player, meaning football runs in the family (at least something does).
Michael Voss, taking note of Jeremy's style of play, has suggested that Mitch may train in defence this pre-season which will be something unique for Mitch, training during pre-season. I just hope this year he doesn't spend all pre-season turning the training cones upside down in the secret hope that one of them is a Cornetto.

Mitch, good luck with your transition into the defensive unit to fill the void left by Liam Jones' sudden retirement. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.

Lol. Target ads for KFC boxes popping up when I jump into this thread

 

[SBYM]

Carlton well in front with regard to number of nominations.

Having claimed #5 and #4, are there three more players remaining from that sh*tstain of a club to round out the entire Top 5?!?

Don't wank too much, Fadge, me old mucker.

You'll go blind.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Player #4 - Mitch McGovern
View attachment 1291438
Pictured: Carlton's instructions to Mitch of "model yourself on Lance Whitnall" have backfired spectacularly

Mitch McGovern has continued Carlton's 21st century tradition of trying to trade their way out of mediocrity by overpaying for mediocrity.
Mitch is part of the 'overpaid flankers club' at Carlton which include Martin, Saad and Williams. Mitch represents 25% of this club, but 52% by mass.

A former Crows forward who surprisingly didn't cover himself in controversy this year by either making racist remarks or pretending that Patrick Dangerfield has a friend, Mitch has appeared at the pointy end of the past two Bottom 50s.
I'm sure some of you can recall the gut-laughter around the competition when Carlton signed Mitch up to a 5 year, $800k pa contract only for him to turn up to his first pre-season at Carlton looking so overweight that Garry Lyon tried to steal his wife.
This earned him one of the best nicknames in the competition - brackets - because that's what the number 11 looks like when stretched across his back. It rivals other great nicknames such as 'the lizard' for Sydney's Blakey because he has no shoulders, 'Stiffy' for Boyd Woodcock because he shares Jame Hird's doctor, and 'that $%^&ing gutter trash little twerp' for Damien Barrett, because he's Damien Barrett.

This year Mitch McGovern arguably increased his output if you take his averages into account, which is about as tenuous praise as someone in a work meeting saying "thank you for your contribution, we are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view". He rolled out for 5 games in total which is 7 less than last year, but still managed to kick 6 goals which is not far off his 9 goal tally this year. That works out to be about $133.3k per goal kicked this year which is perhaps even worse value than a BigFooty Platinum NFT.
To put that in perspective $133k could otherwise buy you a decent block of rural land, a 2019 Jaguar F type, or cover Jordan de Goey's legal fees for an entire off-season.

In other positive news for Mitch, he wasn't dropped during this year to conduct an in-season mini-fitness camp which has happened previously during his time at Carlton. This was perhaps due to a combination of 5km restrictions, lockdowns and his local Ubdereats driver retiring 'due to exhaustion', meaning that this year Mitch just spent most of his time at Princes Park listening intently for the heart-warming jingle-jangle of the local ice-cream truck.
Mofra's dad used to tell a young Mofra that the ice-cream truck only played music when it ran out of ice cream, so he could save money. That's a story for another day though.

It is worth noting that Mitch's brother Jeremy is an elite intercept marker who plays for the West Coast Eagles, although he also had a drop in output this year. Mitch's dad was also an AFL footballer who played for Sydney before later becoming an inaugural Fremantle player, meaning football runs in the family (at least something does).
Michael Voss, taking note of Jeremy's style of play, has suggested that Mitch may train in defence this pre-season which will be something unique for Mitch, training during pre-season. I just hope this year he doesn't spend all pre-season turning the training cones upside down in the secret hope that one of them is a Cornetto.

Mitch, good luck with your transition into the defensive unit to fill the void left by Liam Jones' sudden retirement. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.

Laphroaig Still performing adequately and tracking nicely, I see.

 

[hawkman]

Still Walkers mark.

One of the best marks taken in the last 20 years and Walker had close to the perfect sit.

Which was still way less controversial than when he wore a hat

 

[Laphroaig]

Laphroaig Still performing adequately and tracking nicely, I see.

Late bloomer.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Late bloomer.

The next Jarrad Waite then.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

The next Jarrad Waite then.

Whoa Nelly that is a mighty fine 3 legged Horsey.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Whoa Nelly that is a mighty fine 3 legged Horsey.

So is your coach when he drops his pants

 

[Fadge]

The next Jarrad Waite then.

So he'll play his best and most consistent footy after he leaves Carlton?

 

[Asapartyhat]

This is so much excitement I wonder who will be three two and one

 

[weltschmerz]

Surely Jason Johanissen

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

So he'll play his best and most consistent footy after he leaves Carlton?

Don't they all?

 

[WillHayward]

Poor uber eats driving having to retire from pure exhaustion.

 

[UltimateStrategist]

Brad Hill where?

 

[LittleG]

JJ, Tex & Hill. Only 3 spots left and 3 big targets…. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel this year.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Brad Hill where?

He may not make it this year ( where did he place in 2020 )?
He hardly had any games where he had less than 10 disposals, and someone told me he won at least one contested possession.

 

[Spiritof82]

Surely Jason Johanissen

JJ has worse stats and been gifted more games over the past 5 years than anyone named so far so I can't see how he'd miss out.

 

[TedDougChris]

He may not make it this year ( where did he place in 2020 )?
He hardly had any games where he had less than 10 disposals, and someone told me he won at least one contested possession.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

View attachment 1292277

Its true , here is a shot of him almost getting a contested possession against top Geelong forward........never mind.

 

[TedDougChris]

Its true , here is a shot of him almost getting a contested possession against top Geelong forward........never mind.

That's just tackling a spectator - you cannot fool us...