Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2017 - the "finals were better last year" Edition

[Two Eyes]

Luike Hedge is a big doo doo

Mofra pencilling him into the top 10 as we speak.

 

[hawkman]

Mofra pencilling him into the top 10 as we speak.

Not sure going after a Brisbane player will generate much of a reaction

 

[evo]

Jealous of his batting above his weight victory.

To be honest I'm kinda jelly of his pirate name as well.

 

[TedDougChris]

Player 45 - Fletcher Roberts


Pictured: Even more treasured than his premiership medallion is his role as official ambassador to the Batting Above His Average Association (BAHAA)

Fletcher Roberts is the reigning Premiership full-back who has just passed the baton over to Alex Rance, in a changing of the guard unrivalled since Henry Winkler handed in his blue cardigan for a black leather jacket after the first few episodes of Happy Days.

Fletch is known as "Sid" around the Bulldogs for his similarity in appearance to the Pixar character of the same name.

View attachment 423831
Pictured: You be the judge

The only real obvious tie-in is that the Ice Age is when Sid would have to start his time-trial if he wants to finish with the main group. Fletch is slow, like really slow. He's the only player in the AFL that runs slower than TireBoyz thinks.
This is quite the disadvantage in the modern era of quick KPFs who lead to the ball. Zoning has helped a little bit but as the zone breaks down on turnover, Fletch's ambling efforts to cover his opponent made little difference.

And old-fashioned 'punch ball away' full-back with a decent left peg, Fletch might have been a decent full back in the 1980s especially noting as a Footscray player he'd never have to line up on the no 1 goal-kicker of the 1980s Simon Beasley (there's some trivia for you kids).

Fletch did start the year in the seniors and managed 8 games before he was sent back to the VFL. Twice more he played one AFL game and was then dropped, once against Sydney's Sam Reid and the second against Taylor "only twice as good in GFs as Nick Riewoldt" Walker.

The Bulldogs marketing team did have a sense of humour about it though, apparently releasing this short video:

Pictured: this video went for a length of time that normally necessitates an immediate consultation for nasal-spray

Fletch, Sid, you'll always have a 2016 medallion. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.

Sorry, but there are people that performed half as well in grand finals as Taylor Walker ???? Were they pronounced dead on arrival at the 'G or something ?? Good forwards stand up in big games...

 

[Mofra]

Player 44 - Mark Blicavs


Pictured: Blicavs and some hairy guy always drop out early in the Cats' team bonding game "Simon Says"

Mark Blicavs is a tall guy who runs a lot which makes a welcome change to Geelong's recent recruiting efforts of recruiting medium guys who run away a lot from a contest.
He once tried to qualify for the 2012 Summer Olympics as both a distance runner and a steeple chaser which is a very Geelong thing to compete in, especially with a DVD player under one arm and a bunch of low front yard fences.
When he failed at that he decided to join a team where failure post-2011 will allow him to feel comfortable and fit right in.

He really hit a niche in his first few years of AFL football thanks to something called "third man up". I'd advise anyone who wishes to research this a little more to search on Google and not RedTube where the difference in search results is both stark and horrifying.

So the AFL at the end of 2016 decided the umpires had done a really good job and things were too easy for them so they banned the third man up rule to set them a challenge. Blicavs tweeted that he was retiring, which many assumed was a joke and not a prescient suggestion. As it turns out, if you take a one-trick pony and remove that trick, you're just left with a useless horse. Like taking away a clown's costume, a driver's car, or a Selwood's ability to duck.

Blicavs was the a mule with a spinning wheel in 2017; regardless of what this sentence says Simpsons fans are certainly reading this in Lyle Langley's voice right now. As the' monorail during an eclipse of the AFL world', let's look at Blicav's actual season.

Blicavs (who according to an extensive 3 minute Google search has no nickname) managed a reduction in pretty much every statistical category from 2016 to 2017, except clangers (known as the 'Dangerfield' effect). The transition from 'hybrid hard running mid with third man up capability' to 'kind-of tagger who doesn't hurt teams offensively' went about as smoothly as... hmmm no, no recent politically incorrect simile about transitions and role-play to be had, nope.

Anyway he had one good game in the middle of the year during that one month that Sloane was taggable. Apart from that he largely looked lost and out of place on the football field which is not what you want from... wait, seriously? He won the Geelong B&F in 2015? Did they do away with the vote system that year and just raffle the bloody thing? Even if they did I can only assume Blicavs bought all the freaking tickets. After all, AFL teams don't rig raffles...



Fun Fact: Both of Mark Blicav's parents were born overseas and both represented Australia in politics basketball. His dad, Barnaby Joyce, loves watching Mark play.

Well done Mark on your Carji Greeves medal, don't fret as the rules committee change a bunch of stuff every year so you'll probably find something to do on field next year. Welcome to the 2017 Bottom 50.

 

[El Dubya]

Blicavs (who according to an extensive 3 minute Google search has no nickname)

The Geelong Board tried to get Ballroom off the ground. As in Ballroom Blitz...

 

[CaptainChardonnay]

Tippet for #1. Salary alone makes him a massive target. Ability to go missing and shy away from a contest makes him a lock.

 

[HairyO]

Hoping Mofra shares his favourite RedTube search key words...

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Sorry, but there are people that performed half as well in grand finals as Taylor Walker ???? Were they pronounced dead on arrival at the 'G or something ?? Good forwards stand up in big games...

Well tex did more than Robert Eddy, who's best act in gfs was to pass the ball to much better players.

 

[Sainter3and7]

Mofra "He really hit a niche in his first few years of AFL football thanks to something called "third man up". I'd advise anyone who wishes to research this a little more to search on Google and not RedTube where the difference in search results is both stark and horrifying."

I didn't know anything about RedTube (no, seriously, never heard of it) but can assume what it is... and I LOL'd regardless.

 

[Mofra]

Sorry, but there are people that performed half as well in grand finals as Taylor Walker ???? Were they pronounced dead on arrival at the 'G or something ?? Good forwards stand up in big games...

Nick Riewoldt averaged one goal per Grand Final and two contested marks. His tally in three Grand Finals was Tom Boyd's solo Grand Final, minus hit-outs.

 

[Starburns_]

Mofra "He really hit a niche in his first few years of AFL football thanks to something called "third man up". I'd advise anyone who wishes to research this a little more to search on Google and not RedTube where the difference in search results is both stark and horrifying."

I didn't know anything about RedTube (no, seriously, never heard of it) but can assume what it is... and I LOL'd regardless.

Another one for LOTY, Morganashlee.

 

[Morganashlee]

Another one for LOTY, Morganashlee.

List of liars on the internet
Paddles
El Dub
Cookie
Sainter3and7
Dan

...

To be continued

 

[Starburns_]

List of liars on the internet
Paddles
El Dub
Cookie
Sainter3and7

...

To be continued

Don't forget Dan the piano man.

 

[A Cut Above]

Player 44 - Mark Blicavs


Pictured: Blicavs and some hairy guy always drop out early in the Cats' team bonding game "Simon Says"

Mark Blicavs is a tall guy who runs a lot which makes a welcome change to Geelong's recent recruiting efforts of recruiting medium guys who run away a lot from a contest.
He once tried to qualify for the 2012 Summer Olympics as both a distance runner and a steeple chaser which is a very Geelong thing to compete in, especially with a DVD player under one arm and a bunch of low front yard fences.
When he failed at that he decided to join a team where failure post-2011 will allow him to feel comfortable and fit right in.

He really hit a niche in his first few years of AFL football thanks to something called "third man up". I'd advise anyone who wishes to research this a little more to search on Google and not RedTube where the difference in search results is both stark and horrifying.

So the AFL at the end of 2016 decided the umpires had done a really good job and things were too easy for them so they banned the third man up rule to set them a challenge. Blicavs tweeted that he was retiring, which many assumed was a joke and not a prescient suggestion. As it turns out, if you take a one-trick pony and remove that trick, you're just left with a useless horse. Like taking away a clown's costume, a driver's car, or a Selwood's ability to duck.

Blicavs was the a mule with a spinning wheel in 2017; regardless of what this sentence says Simpsons fans are certainly reading this in Lyle Langley's voice right now. As the' monorail during an eclipse of the AFL world', let's look at Blicav's actual season.

Blicavs (who according to an extensive 3 minute Google search has no nickname) managed a reduction in pretty much every statistical category from 2016 to 2017, except clangers (known as the 'Dangerfield' effect). The transition from 'hybrid hard running mid with third man up capability' to 'kind-of tagger who doesn't hurt teams offensively' went about as smoothly as... hmmm no, no recent politically incorrect simile about transitions and role-play to be had, nope.

Anyway he had one good game in the middle of the year during that one month that Sloane was taggable. Apart from that he largely looked lost and out of place on the football field which is not what you want from... wait, seriously? He won the Geelong B&F in 2015? Did they do away with the vote system that year and just raffle the bloody thing? Even if they did I can only assume Blicavs bought all the freaking tickets. After all, AFL teams don't rig raffles...



Fun Fact: Both of Mark Blicav's parents were born overseas and both represented Australia in politics basketball. His dad, Barnaby Joyce, loves watching Mark play.

Well done Mark on your Carji Greeves medal, don't fret as the rules committee change a bunch of stuff every year so you'll probably find something to do on field next year. Welcome to the 2017 Bottom 50.

Mofra the rules forbid me from making an elias so I can Like this post twice, so would you mind posting it again?

 

[TedDougChris]

Nick Riewoldt averaged one goal per Grand Final and two contested marks. His tally in three Grand Finals was Tom Boyd's solo Grand Final, minus hit-outs.

Really, wow....

 

[Starburns_]

Mofra the rules forbid me from making an elias so I can Like this post twice, so would you mind posting it again?

Sure they don't.

 

[Ronnie Baby]

Not sure going after a Brisbane player will generate much of a reaction

I might raise an eyebrow

 

[Blueyboy74]

Not sure going after a Brisbane player will generate much of a reaction

Reckon Rhys Mathieson might if only for the fact he struts around and generally acts like he's some sort of all-time great.

 

[Sainter3and7]

List of liars on the internet
Paddles
El Dub
Cookie
Sainter3and7
Dan

...

To be continued

Nah, really... I had NFI. Is this an age thing? I'm 51. I don't have Instagram or anything... Plus, if you had any sense of my health issues, you'd be pretty confident that I wouldn't have the energy to do that kind of s**t. This site, and one Hollywood gossip site, are my two escapes. But other than that... not up to it in terms of health.

 

[Morganashlee]

Nah, really... I had NFI. Is this an age thing? I'm 51. I don't have Instagram or anything... Plus, if you had any sense of my health issues, you'd be pretty confident that I wouldn't have the energy to do that kind of s**t. This site, and one Hollywood gossip site, are my two escapes. But other than that... not up to it in terms of health.

Hope you get better soon mate

 

[Crankyhawk]

No it's about Hawthorn supporters continually jumping at the bait like a tankful of starving gummy sharks.

Particularly in this thread. It's to join in and suggest players. And with our injuries (and or rested) most of the round 1-4 team is fair game.

 

[richoatthedisco]

Here's a better picture of Roberts

Which one is he and who's the other bloke?

Tigers untrollable.

Quoted for truth.

If Hawthorn was trollable after 3peating then everyone's ******* trollable.

Not every club has partially relocated interstate and will soon move its HQ to a literal tip.

 

[A Cut Above]

Not every club has partially relocated interstate and will soon move its HQ to a literal tip.

"Why are you getting so upset? Shouldn't you be over the moon considering your team just won a flag?? I would be!"




.....yeah don't mind me mate, just wanna see if you Tiger fans enjoy dodging that ol' chestnut as much as we did in our flag years.

 

[captain blood 17]

Todd Elton.

If at least one game is the criteria then surely Mitch White gets in for us, his game againsy sydney was the stuff of nightmares.

Great nomination.


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