Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

[JHF1870]

Player #31 - Sean Darcy
View attachment 2473144
Pictured: Day 1 of pre-season

Sean Darcy was a Doig medalist in 2021 and was recognised as one of the game's top ruckman just a couple of years ago.
Since then he has gotten slower while the game has gotten faster.

Hailing from the football factory of Cobden that has produced over a dozen footballers in recent memory out of a population of about 1900 people, Sean's love of dairy has clearly contributed to being "a unit". He remains quite the effective tap ruckman but these days rucks need to move and get back in defence and Darcy just can't cover the amount of ground he needs to, epecially considering his huge contract and that his ruck partner happens to be the super-mobile Luke Jackson.
In one game earlier this year, Darcy managed 29 hitouts yet just 3 disposals against the Suns to showcase a lack of mobility so pronounced Corne's gave him the nickname of "one and done".

Sean Darcy was also body-shamed by well known fitness addicts the Fremantle Dockers fans this year, which led convicted stalker Dani Laidley to jump to his defence. Dani said you shouldn't get too personal when you criticise a footballer as you don't know what they're going through until you're walked a mile in their shows, or at the very least sat outside their house for 17 hours then stared through the window while they sleep.

Fremantle are confident however that the new ruck rules for 2026 will benefit Sean as he'll have to run 2m less each centre bounce contest.

Sean, Darc, good luck for next season and welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

Honest but fair

 

[All Aust]

Player #31 - Sean Darcy
View attachment 2473144
Pictured: Day 1 of pre-season

Sean Darcy was a Doig medalist in 2021 and was recognised as one of the game's top ruckman just a couple of years ago.
Since then he has gotten slower while the game has gotten faster.

Hailing from the football factory of Cobden that has produced over a dozen footballers in recent memory out of a population of about 1900 people, Sean's love of dairy has clearly contributed to being "a unit". He remains quite the effective tap ruckman but these days rucks need to move and get back in defence and Darcy just can't cover the amount of ground he needs to, epecially considering his huge contract and that his ruck partner happens to be the super-mobile Luke Jackson.
In one game earlier this year, Darcy managed 29 hitouts yet just 3 disposals against the Suns to showcase a lack of mobility so pronounced Corne's gave him the nickname of "one and done".

Sean Darcy was also body-shamed by well known fitness addicts the Fremantle Dockers fans this year, which led convicted stalker Dani Laidley to jump to his defence. Dani said you shouldn't get too personal when you criticise a footballer as you don't know what they're going through until you're walked a mile in their shows, or at the very least sat outside their house for 17 hours then stared through the window while they sleep.

Fremantle are confident however that the new ruck rules for 2026 will benefit Sean as he'll have to run 2m less each centre bounce contest.

Sean, Darc, good luck for next season and welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

A rules change enabling the use of a highly powered mobility scooter is not beyond the realms of possibility.

 

[Johnny Bananas]

I see Poorf have offered Jaidyn a train on opportunity so if they pick him up you can look forward to seeing him here in 2026

Ooh, just one letter away from doing a Rankine!

 

[frggr]

A rules change enabling the use of a highly powered mobility scooter is not beyond the realms of possibility.

Collingwood back in flag contention then

 

[All Aust]

Collingwood back in flag contention then

Eddie gunna weave that baby into TV, Radio and Poddies.

 

[EskimoPAFC]

Collingwood back in flag contention then

When even Geelong fans are making fun of how old your list is...

 

[Pistol Night]

When even Geelong fans are making fun of how old your list is...

Embrace the grey pubes and A Current Affair

 

[the avoca drover]

Embrace the grey pubes and A Current Affair

And 3AW

 

[WillHayward]

What about this young fella?

Former No.3 pick among three Roos delisted

The Kangaroos have delisted Will Phillips among three more list changes

www.afl.com.au

 

[All Aust]

Embrace the grey pubes and A Current Affair

Perish the thought. Bleach for the eyes.

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

When even Geelong fans are making fun of how old your list is...

Because they forgot their last premiership team averaged 28 while ours was 27?

 

[hawkman]

What about this young fella?

Former No.3 pick among three Roos delisted

The Kangaroos have delisted Will Phillips among three more list changes

www.afl.com.au

Norf are pretty much irrelevant.

 

[Jazny]

Player #34 - Adam Saad
View attachment 2466191
Pictured: Iftar, or as DanWA would call it, "a light snack"

Adam Saad is a defender who plays for Carlton. In recent years he's been the "king of the bounce" because he'd get the ball in defence, realise Carlton's wings are crap, and then bounce the ball until he could kick it to one of Carlton's tall forwards. He was the Australian answer to Pamela Anderson's first 30 seconds on every Baywatch episode (IYKYK).

It was a neat trick, until this year when Voss' gameplan presented with all the lucidity of two highly medicated porcupines trying to work out how to draw a circle on an Etch a Sketch. Saad, slowing down and with no leading targets to kick to, seemed to go into his shell and the results were... not good. Like most Carlton players, he declined in every category except "abuse received from Carlton fans".

This came to it's nadir in a game against Hawthorn where he decided that it was easier spectating instead of playing. Except Saad was still on the field. In the first quarter. Of Sam "overcome adversity" Docherty's farewell game.

‘What’s wrong with that man?’: Horror effort sums up Blues as AFL greats roast ‘repeat offender’

‘What’s wrong with that man?’: Horror effort sums up Blues as AFL greats roast ‘repeat offender’

www.foxsports.com.au

My high school girlfriend used to put in more effort than Saad did that game, and she was inflatable.

Anyway Saad is contracted for 2026 and unlike a couple of his teammates, that means he's safe for next year.

Adam, Saad, good luck watching your opponent next year. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

It's been a rough year for Saad! SQoTY, bottom 50, and another year was added to his contract at Carlton.

 

[philreich]

 

[Pistol Night]

View attachment 2474850

Like Carlton every May

 

[hawkman]

It's been a rough year for Saad! SQoTY, bottom 50, and another year was added to his contract at Carlton.

With luck like that the next thing will be signing for Tasmania and seeing the team never join the league

 

[philreich]

Like Carlton every May

I heard that Elmer_Hauser wore his Carlton top to bed the other night. His wife just looked at him and said, "You won't score tonight, wearing that."

 

[Jazny]

With luck like that the next thing will be signing for Tasmania and seeing the team never join the league

We will turn him into a superstar!

 

[Pistol Night]

We will turn him into a superstar!

Who's your strength and conditioning coach? Mr Miyagi?

 

[Jazny]

Who's your strength and conditioning coach? Mr Miyagi?

We are in talks with some guy called Rhys Mathieson.

 

[springvale_mackers]

I heard that Elmer_Hauser wore his Carlton top to bed the other night. His wife just looked at him and said, "You won't score tonight, wearing that."

Oh boy. No. No. I’ll stay out of it.

 

[Mofra]

Player #30 - Archie Perkins

Pictured: Archie is pursued by a player from Zac Merrett's favourite club.

Archie Perkins was pick 9 in the 2020 AFL draft and was mooted to be part of Essendon's rebuild 2 rebuilds ago.

Considered a midfielder/forward he's demonstrated that he's a pretty mid forward or a low production mid. Essendon fans seem frustrated with him and you can see why. He looks so damn close to being a dangerous player but he just doesn't quite hit the mark. He'll have a quarter or two of high quality then have a moment where he just doesn't go as hard as he could, or gives up on a contest, and you go "oh that's right".

That seems to be his biggest issue, desire. He would look great in a team that is at the pointy end of the ladder but if you check above, you'll see he's at Essendon and things just get a little hard for Archie sometimes. When it comes to being a footballer who can really influence games of football, Archie has 'friendzoned' Essendon.

Perkins has now played 101 games for Essendon, ensuring if he has kids they have the option of playing for Essendon or go into the open draft to chase team success.

Fun fact: Perkins' parents grew up in New Zealand and moved to Australia in their 20s. Archie attended Brighton Grammar School

Archie's parents are both Kiwis and moved to Australia in thier 20s, yet somehow managed to send their kid to Brighton Grammar, which sounds as weird as a professional sporting competition that has more than half the competition playing finals each year. Could you imagine?

Anyway Archie is contracted for next year so good luck in 2026 and welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

 

[Pistol Night]

I heard that Elmer_Hauser wore his Carlton top to bed the other night. His wife just looked at him and said, "You won't score tonight, wearing that."

Didn’t know sex robots were so picky about footy clubs

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Perkins has now played 101 games for Essendon

I’ve never heard of him. Or maybe I thought the commentators were saying “Ah Chee”. But like a lot of commentary that wouldn’t have made sense…

 

[hawkman]

I’ve never heard of him. Or maybe I thought the commentators were saying “Ah Chee”. But like a lot of commentary that wouldn’t have made sense…

Essendon' supporters were talking him up as the next big thing a couple of years ago. Now it is Kako and Caddy. In 2 years time it will be pick 5 and 6 from this year. All will be destined for failure