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Family & Relationships **** Moves

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breeno

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Alright, here I reckon we could put all your stories of shit things mates have done (preferably in relation to chicks); including the worst ****blocks you have seen.

Worst one I have heard a friend of mine has done:

Three guys went out on the town. Guy A and Guy B (Guy B is a 19 year old balding redhead) are very, very close mates. Guy C was friends with the both of them but not great friends. It was agreed that they would all crash at Guy A's house.

Guy C brings home a very good looking bird, as does Guy A. Understandably, Guy B struggled a bit.

Just as Guy C is about to seal the deal with this girl, Guy A storms in and demands he leave the house. Guy C, flustered, arks up and asks why. Guy A demanded that he leave because he wanted his best mate (Guy B) to get with this girl. A fight ensued and Guy C was kicked out of the house, and the girl left not much longer.

Any other stories of ****blocks or shit moves by people you know?
 
That guy is an absolute ****!

I have one, but not that dramatic.

Guy A had been texting this girl, who was at a bar one night. He was dancing with her for ages and would have been a lock to take her home.
Guy B (mates with A), who has a girlfriend and had no intention of doing anything, danced with the 2 of them all night, just stood right next to em, kept talking to the girl and made it awkward as. Guy A never got to make a move.
 
This one happened to me:

Girl I'd been good friends with for ages, but we were both unavailable for most of the friendship had broken up with her bf and been single for a month, likewise with me. We had always had a flirty relationship and had similar interests, etc and I'd seen her checking me out and I did the same.

We were a bit tipsy at a smallish party with about 20 or so people. We'd been talking all arvo and night and eventually she just sort of sighed and moved next to me and rested in I did the whole rub the shoulder, waist, bit of arse and sideboob and she went in for a decent mack (same girl in the fail threads, but earlier in the weird relationship thing) and as I lean in these two ***** come rollicking up to us. One a fairly good mate of mine who I've never quite felt a real good connection with and the 2nd was a dirty whore. Dirty whore jumps on top of me and mounts me, wedging her knee in between me and the girl I was about to mack and giving her a corkie. Guy grabs my girl and virtually drags her off. When she is out of sight the bitch chick laughs and gets off of me and walks off.

I had no idea wtf happened, but then the chick I liked didn't talk to me for a few weeks and I found out later the dude had made up some story about me and the slag chick being sex friends and then tried to hit on her and get her drunk.

What a massive ****.
 
This one happened to me:

Girl I'd been good friends with for ages, but we were both unavailable for most of the friendship had broken up with her bf and been single for a month, likewise with me. We had always had a flirty relationship and had similar interests, etc and I'd seen her checking me out and I did the same.

We were a bit tipsy at a smallish party with about 20 or so people. We'd been talking all arvo and night and eventually she just sort of sighed and moved next to me and rested in I did the whole rub the shoulder, waist, bit of arse and sideboob and she went in for a decent mack (same girl in the fail threads, but earlier in the weird relationship thing) and as I lean in these two ***** come rollicking up to us. One a fairly good mate of mine who I've never quite felt a real good connection with and the 2nd was a dirty whore. Dirty whore jumps on top of me and mounts me, wedging her knee in between me and the girl I was about to mack and giving her a corkie. Guy grabs my girl and virtually drags her off. When she is out of sight the bitch chick laughs and gets off of me and walks off.

I had no idea wtf happened, but then the chick I liked didn't talk to me for a few weeks and I found out later the dude had made up some story about me and the slag chick being sex friends and then tried to hit on her and get her drunk.

What a massive ****.

I hope you beat the shit out of that guy.
 

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This one happened to me:

Girl I'd been good friends with for ages, but we were both unavailable for most of the friendship had broken up with her bf and been single for a month, likewise with me. We had always had a flirty relationship and had similar interests, etc and I'd seen her checking me out and I did the same.

We were a bit tipsy at a smallish party with about 20 or so people. We'd been talking all arvo and night and eventually she just sort of sighed and moved next to me and rested in I did the whole rub the shoulder, waist, bit of arse and sideboob and she went in for a decent mack (same girl in the fail threads, but earlier in the weird relationship thing) and as I lean in these two ***** come rollicking up to us. One a fairly good mate of mine who I've never quite felt a real good connection with and the 2nd was a dirty whore. Dirty whore jumps on top of me and mounts me, wedging her knee in between me and the girl I was about to mack and giving her a corkie. Guy grabs my girl and virtually drags her off. When she is out of sight the bitch chick laughs and gets off of me and walks off.

I had no idea wtf happened, but then the chick I liked didn't talk to me for a few weeks and I found out later the dude had made up some story about me and the slag chick being sex friends and then tried to hit on her and get her drunk.

What a massive ****.

Disgraceful incident
 
Not too dramatic but still a poxy situation.

Me and a mate were at this party and there was this fine new zealander chick I was trying to tune, (I felt I was in for a very big chance).

Next thing I'm going to grab my self a beer and return to see my best mate talking to her...little did I know he was telling her that I have 3 kids at home and I just left them there to go out and party. she was not impressed....

Certainly **** blocked and the bastard ended up screwing her all night. :mad:
 
Cockblocking yourself.
Done it once never again.

I was in line for a club putting the move on the girl behind me. I'd been leaning on this wall for support and when the line moved forward I put out my hand to lean on it again --> I was now standing in an arched doorway and my hand had no wall for support. I was a bit drunk so my leg wouldn't move in time to support me and I fell directly into a full-length window to the main dancefloor of the club.

:o
 
This one happened to me:

.....

What a massive ****.


that's out of control. **** that.

i think me and the lads have all cockblocked one another at some point but nothing serious. but one of the lads (who's no longer a lad but thinks he is one of the lads. thank **** i've moved to melbourne so i don't have to deal with him) always did and always took it way too far.

his signature move was to come up whilst your on the tune and just bag you mercilessly for about 5 to 10 minutes. as i said we'll all give each other a bit of shit, especially in front of a possible victim, but it's usually light hearted and done in a few seconds. not with this lad - "don't expect him to buy you a drink. he's a tightass", "hey isn't that your ex over that?", "oi look, there's tash. didn't you shag her?".... were typical comments. and we lived in a small uni town so at uni nights you were always running into old flames and what not, epsecially at uni bar nights. those sort of comments really didn't help.

he's no longer one of the lads. thanks ****.
 

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My friend was telling me about a guy he plays cricket with and summed up his personality with this story.

He'd gone away with a mate and they were out and his mate was dancing kissing this chick and he was dancing with her friend. Anyway, he didn't like the girl he was stuck with so he said to her "listen, I feel like i should warn you that your friend will get r*ped hanging out with him"

Needless to say the girls disappeared very quickly.
 
Alright, here I reckon we could put all your stories of shit things mates have done (preferably in relation to chicks); including the worst ****blocks you have seen.

Worst one I have heard a friend of mine has done:

Three guys went out on the town. Guy A and Guy B (Guy B is a 19 year old balding redhead) are very, very close mates. Guy C was friends with the both of them but not great friends. It was agreed that they would all crash at Guy A's house.

Guy C brings home a very good looking bird, as does Guy A. Understandably, Guy B struggled a bit.

Just as Guy C is about to seal the deal with this girl, Guy A storms in and demands he leave the house. Guy C, flustered, arks up and asks why. Guy A demanded that he leave because he wanted his best mate (Guy B) to get with this girl. A fight ensued and Guy C was kicked out of the house, and the girl left not much longer.

Any other stories of ****blocks or shit moves by people you know?

Guy A must think that the girl has no say in who she hooks up with? What an idiot.
 
Not too dramatic but still a poxy situation.

Me and a mate were at this party and there was this fine new zealander chick I was trying to tune, (I felt I was in for a very big chance).

Next thing I'm going to grab my self a beer and return to see my best mate talking to her...little did I know he was telling her that I have 3 kids at home and I just left them there to go out and party. she was not impressed....

Certainly **** blocked and the bastard ended up screwing her all night. :mad:

I hope you're still not mates.
 
This one happened to me:

Girl I'd been good friends with for ages, but we were both unavailable for most of the friendship had broken up with her bf and been single for a month, likewise with me. We had always had a flirty relationship and had similar interests, etc and I'd seen her checking me out and I did the same.

We were a bit tipsy at a smallish party with about 20 or so people. We'd been talking all arvo and night and eventually she just sort of sighed and moved next to me and rested in I did the whole rub the shoulder, waist, bit of arse and sideboob and she went in for a decent mack (same girl in the fail threads, but earlier in the weird relationship thing) and as I lean in these two ***** come rollicking up to us. One a fairly good mate of mine who I've never quite felt a real good connection with and the 2nd was a dirty whore. Dirty whore jumps on top of me and mounts me, wedging her knee in between me and the girl I was about to mack and giving her a corkie. Guy grabs my girl and virtually drags her off. When she is out of sight the bitch chick laughs and gets off of me and walks off.

I had no idea wtf happened, but then the chick I liked didn't talk to me for a few weeks and I found out later the dude had made up some story about me and the slag chick being sex friends and then tried to hit on her and get her drunk.

What a massive ****.

Sounds like a real grade-A **** of a human being.
 

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Schoolies a few years back, I was on V-plates at the time. Had a chick in bed with me when my mate walks in to the room shortly after we got in there. He decided to climb into his bed on the bunk opposite us. We both told him to **** off but he insisted on staying. She then decided she was sick of him and walked out. I remained on the V-plates that night.

I didn't mind rooting her with him in the room but she wasn't keen with him in the room.
 
This isn't so much a **** move as just effing hilarious. Few mates were at uni games a couple of years ago, however they only had 3 beds to 4 blokes in one room, so two of them had to share the double.

Anyway, one of them takes a girl back to where they are staying. Sleeps with her, they go to sleep. Other mate gets home, nods his approval of his mate, then strips naked and gets into bed between them.

Next morning first guy wakes up, laughs. Girl wakes up, screams, and runs off
 
C***blocking mates aren't mates at all.
I've got a mate who likes to try and control the women around him. He figures they won't root him so no-one else can then tries fisticuffs with us when we hook up with his female friends. I always try chop my friends out even it it requires telling outlandish lies. Had a friends who couldn't get laid in a brothel, told some girl he was a dolphin trainer at Seaworld (she wasn't the brightest spark) and she was over him like white on rice.

Worst **** move i had was my oldest mate whom I've been friends with since 5 years old. After a party at his house I took this girl to the back of my antique mazda 626, had sexytime with her. Got out of my car, friend came straight up to me and headbutted me, resulting in blood nose, pushed me into car and told me to get we're not mates anymore. Came out later that he was in love with said girl but never mentioned anything to me. If he told me he had a thing for her I would've left her alone or put in a good word for him. Not really mates anymore as I didn't appreciate his over reaction. He was only 20 at the time though/
 
My ones are kinda small in comparison


Dancing with some bird at a club, i'm not brilliant at picking up club chicks but anyway she was pretty decent and we started dancing getting in real close, bout to hook in and i was with one "mate" of mine and this mate was just like standing and staring at us and it pissed me off as i wanted to move in. Problem was having him right in your face to the point when you're dancing you are constantly bumping into him, even though at clubs it's probably the case, this was pretty late on at a separate part of the club so plenty of room. Anyway the bird is like "is he your mate hes freaking me out" i replied by saying "nah dunno who he is". He then proceeds to call my name, tap me on the shoulder and is like "give me a turn man" and the girl just kissed my cheek and said she was leaving. He then said to me "what happened man you couldn't close the deal".

He's a virgin and he's my age, 23, not that there is anything wrong with that but yeah...I am very tempted to make a thread on him or just about "people you don't call mates but call you mates". Seriously have some brilliant stories on him, the Perth Karl Pilkington. If I am not lazy will get around to that shortly.

Got another story but probably won't say as someone i know that uses bf may see it. Massive being a dick story though.
 

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