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ok, i FINALLY got an idea ONLY to find out the story can only be 800 words or less
This SEVERELY limited what i could write, and i plan to extend the following atory afterwards because it can be SO MUCH better(i have so many ideas for it
)
Anyways, it is 1400 and something words, will have to try shorten it somehow
what do you think
King Wave
Maclean dipped his toes into the blue-green water. It felt cold, but tempting. He walked back up to the smallish dunes and took of his long grey cargo pants, and yellow-blue polo shirt, then turned and again headed for the ocean. He slowly waded into the refreshing water. Maclean loved these times when he could get away from it all, his parents never ending fighting, and his sister’s constant annoyance. The water was calm; he was swimming in a cove area, sheltered by an island, of sorts, broken away from the mainland, and a rocky outcrop, separating this beach from the next. While he glided through the still water he wondered what the week ahead had in stall for him.
His father Jim and his mother Tracy had brought him and Jamy, his sister, on a camping trip for the first week of the autumn holidays. His parents had told him they had decided to go to get away from the Derby heat, where they lived, and that they had always wanted to see the south coast of Western Australia. Maclean felt otherwise. He believed his parents had taken them on this week away for one last family outing before they split up. It was ok for Jamy, she was 17, and certainly able to move out into her own unit with her girlfriends, but Maclean knew that being 13 he could not do this, and would either have to choose between his parents, or move from house to house. Neither of these options sounded appealing to him. He just wanted them to stay together; surely they could work it out. He slowly swam around the pool, every now and then ducking down below the surface and bringing back sand. The water was really nice, he felt he could stay there forever, but knew his Dad would want him back soon to show off how many fish he had caught, or complain to him about the lack of fish in the lake. Maclean headed for shore, paddled in the shallows for a few minutes, and walked to where he had left his towel. He picked up his large West Coast Eagles beach towel and wrapped it around him. Slowly he began to trek back to the shack they were staying in.
Jim cast his line into the brown lake just behind the shack they were staying in. It was an old fisherman’s hut, on a beach called Nanarup, 22km East of Albany on the South Coast of Western Australia. He didn’t expect to catch much, and if he did it would probably only be a few small black bream. Fishing was the way he liked to spend his free time, but in Derby, with working as a police officer, he didn’t get much time for this leisure activity. Jim was looking forward to this week off that he had been planning for months. Tracy and him had decided that before they separated, they would take Maclean and Jamy on a camping trip so that they would have something good to remember them by. In the past few months they had grown apart from each other, and he knew they argued a lot. They didn’t like it, but it just happened. Tracy knew when she married him that a policeman held a busy schedule, but overtime she had grown tired of this, and now the best thing for her was for them to break up, and move on. It was a pity, as Jim knew it would affect Maclean greatly. Jim felt a tug on the line. He quickly pulled the line back, trying to hook the fish on before he began to reel it in. It was big, he knew it, and was putting up a nig fight. Jim did not fight, he let the fish take the line out for a while, until it tired, and then began to reel it in again. Once again the fish began to pull, but Jim was not phased, he had been fishing for most of his life, and so he let the fish take the line again. Gradually the fish tired, and Jim was able to pull the fish in. When he realized what he had caught, he was astonished. It was a salmon. It must have gotten into the lake when the bar between the ocean and the lake opened. Jim quickly took the fish off the line, and ran into the shack to show off his catch.
Maclean woke up early the next morning. His Dad had agreed to take him out on the boat for an early morning fish. Maclean didn’t really like fishing, he wanted to go for the boat ride, and to spend some time with his Dad, something that did not occur very often. The early morning air smelt wonderful, but it was rather chilly. The grass was crisp from frost as he stepped out of the shack, heading to the car where his Dad was waiting with the boat, ready to go. Maclean hopped into the jackaroo, still putting on his jacket, as his dad turned on the ignition. They took of, racing over the track, nearly getting bogged in the soft sand going around a tight corner. As they came over the dune Maclean saw the ocean, as calm as he had seen. It looked magnificent as the sun began to rise on the horizon. His dad reversed the trailer with the boat onto it into the water. Maclean hopped out to pull the trailer off. When he had unhitched the trailer his Dad drove the jackaroo into the soft sand and parked it. Maclean walked into the water, ready to help his Dad pull the boat off. His cargo’s got wet, and the water was freezing. His Dad and him pulled the boat off, and Maclean hopped in, his dad pushing the boat out onto the water. They were taking off from the cove area, the safest place if they wanted to get out to the deep water.
As they took off Maclean felt the cool breeze blowing on his face. He wished he had brought a beanie, as his ears were really cold. They got out past the breakwater; just on the other side of the rocks, and his Dad passed him a line. They cast their lines in the water, either side of the boat. They didn’t speak, just listened to the water breaking onto the rocks. The wind was picking up, and so was the water, the chop was starting to pound the boat. His Dad told him they might not be able to stay long. Maclean asked if they could at least stay for one more cast, and his father agreed. The wind really picked up and Maclean noticed the boat was being pulled further out to see. The waves were beginning to hit the boat, nothing huge but his Father realized it was time to go. Out of nowhere a huge wave appeared. There was no time; it was going to hit the boat. His dad grabbed onto Maclean and told him to hold on tight. The wave seemed to take forever to arrive, but really it was a few seconds. Just watching it grow so quickly was scary. The wave hit, and they were plunged into the cold ocean. Maclean looked up only to see the boat falling, and he felt it hit him on the head.
Jamy and her Mum were walking along the beach towards to cove. Her father and brother had gone out fishing early that morning, and her mum was worried. Jamy knew they would be fine, probably cooking their catch down on the beach, or swimming after a successful outing. It was now 11.00am and Jamy was feeling like a swim anyway so she agreed to go with her Mother to the Cove to see how her father and brother were going. As they walked along the beach they looked out to sea. The win was blowing strongly, and the waves were huge. She could hear them crashing onto the rocks of the island ahead. As they got nearer to the cove they saw something lying on the shore. Her mum began to run towards it, Jamy couldn’t work out why. As she got closer she realized, it was her Father, lying on the beach. By the time she got there her Mother was crying openly. She bent down to see if her father had a pulse. He didn’t, her Father was dead.
This SEVERELY limited what i could write, and i plan to extend the following atory afterwards because it can be SO MUCH better(i have so many ideas for it
)Anyways, it is 1400 and something words, will have to try shorten it somehow
what do you think
King Wave
Maclean dipped his toes into the blue-green water. It felt cold, but tempting. He walked back up to the smallish dunes and took of his long grey cargo pants, and yellow-blue polo shirt, then turned and again headed for the ocean. He slowly waded into the refreshing water. Maclean loved these times when he could get away from it all, his parents never ending fighting, and his sister’s constant annoyance. The water was calm; he was swimming in a cove area, sheltered by an island, of sorts, broken away from the mainland, and a rocky outcrop, separating this beach from the next. While he glided through the still water he wondered what the week ahead had in stall for him.
His father Jim and his mother Tracy had brought him and Jamy, his sister, on a camping trip for the first week of the autumn holidays. His parents had told him they had decided to go to get away from the Derby heat, where they lived, and that they had always wanted to see the south coast of Western Australia. Maclean felt otherwise. He believed his parents had taken them on this week away for one last family outing before they split up. It was ok for Jamy, she was 17, and certainly able to move out into her own unit with her girlfriends, but Maclean knew that being 13 he could not do this, and would either have to choose between his parents, or move from house to house. Neither of these options sounded appealing to him. He just wanted them to stay together; surely they could work it out. He slowly swam around the pool, every now and then ducking down below the surface and bringing back sand. The water was really nice, he felt he could stay there forever, but knew his Dad would want him back soon to show off how many fish he had caught, or complain to him about the lack of fish in the lake. Maclean headed for shore, paddled in the shallows for a few minutes, and walked to where he had left his towel. He picked up his large West Coast Eagles beach towel and wrapped it around him. Slowly he began to trek back to the shack they were staying in.
Jim cast his line into the brown lake just behind the shack they were staying in. It was an old fisherman’s hut, on a beach called Nanarup, 22km East of Albany on the South Coast of Western Australia. He didn’t expect to catch much, and if he did it would probably only be a few small black bream. Fishing was the way he liked to spend his free time, but in Derby, with working as a police officer, he didn’t get much time for this leisure activity. Jim was looking forward to this week off that he had been planning for months. Tracy and him had decided that before they separated, they would take Maclean and Jamy on a camping trip so that they would have something good to remember them by. In the past few months they had grown apart from each other, and he knew they argued a lot. They didn’t like it, but it just happened. Tracy knew when she married him that a policeman held a busy schedule, but overtime she had grown tired of this, and now the best thing for her was for them to break up, and move on. It was a pity, as Jim knew it would affect Maclean greatly. Jim felt a tug on the line. He quickly pulled the line back, trying to hook the fish on before he began to reel it in. It was big, he knew it, and was putting up a nig fight. Jim did not fight, he let the fish take the line out for a while, until it tired, and then began to reel it in again. Once again the fish began to pull, but Jim was not phased, he had been fishing for most of his life, and so he let the fish take the line again. Gradually the fish tired, and Jim was able to pull the fish in. When he realized what he had caught, he was astonished. It was a salmon. It must have gotten into the lake when the bar between the ocean and the lake opened. Jim quickly took the fish off the line, and ran into the shack to show off his catch.
Maclean woke up early the next morning. His Dad had agreed to take him out on the boat for an early morning fish. Maclean didn’t really like fishing, he wanted to go for the boat ride, and to spend some time with his Dad, something that did not occur very often. The early morning air smelt wonderful, but it was rather chilly. The grass was crisp from frost as he stepped out of the shack, heading to the car where his Dad was waiting with the boat, ready to go. Maclean hopped into the jackaroo, still putting on his jacket, as his dad turned on the ignition. They took of, racing over the track, nearly getting bogged in the soft sand going around a tight corner. As they came over the dune Maclean saw the ocean, as calm as he had seen. It looked magnificent as the sun began to rise on the horizon. His dad reversed the trailer with the boat onto it into the water. Maclean hopped out to pull the trailer off. When he had unhitched the trailer his Dad drove the jackaroo into the soft sand and parked it. Maclean walked into the water, ready to help his Dad pull the boat off. His cargo’s got wet, and the water was freezing. His Dad and him pulled the boat off, and Maclean hopped in, his dad pushing the boat out onto the water. They were taking off from the cove area, the safest place if they wanted to get out to the deep water.
As they took off Maclean felt the cool breeze blowing on his face. He wished he had brought a beanie, as his ears were really cold. They got out past the breakwater; just on the other side of the rocks, and his Dad passed him a line. They cast their lines in the water, either side of the boat. They didn’t speak, just listened to the water breaking onto the rocks. The wind was picking up, and so was the water, the chop was starting to pound the boat. His Dad told him they might not be able to stay long. Maclean asked if they could at least stay for one more cast, and his father agreed. The wind really picked up and Maclean noticed the boat was being pulled further out to see. The waves were beginning to hit the boat, nothing huge but his Father realized it was time to go. Out of nowhere a huge wave appeared. There was no time; it was going to hit the boat. His dad grabbed onto Maclean and told him to hold on tight. The wave seemed to take forever to arrive, but really it was a few seconds. Just watching it grow so quickly was scary. The wave hit, and they were plunged into the cold ocean. Maclean looked up only to see the boat falling, and he felt it hit him on the head.
Jamy and her Mum were walking along the beach towards to cove. Her father and brother had gone out fishing early that morning, and her mum was worried. Jamy knew they would be fine, probably cooking their catch down on the beach, or swimming after a successful outing. It was now 11.00am and Jamy was feeling like a swim anyway so she agreed to go with her Mother to the Cove to see how her father and brother were going. As they walked along the beach they looked out to sea. The win was blowing strongly, and the waves were huge. She could hear them crashing onto the rocks of the island ahead. As they got nearer to the cove they saw something lying on the shore. Her mum began to run towards it, Jamy couldn’t work out why. As she got closer she realized, it was her Father, lying on the beach. By the time she got there her Mother was crying openly. She bent down to see if her father had a pulse. He didn’t, her Father was dead.
Just one thing though, you didn't mention the Beach Boys. 
Instant B. LOL
