Name 3 headlines in 2017

bungee

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I follow no other, only Swans
Damn
We'ĺl probably be ok in 2018 though right?
Obvious you managed to avoid us in the finals as well.
I didn't want to break your heart but my crystal balls tell me ......

Giants left asking "Where's my Mummy ?" : A career-ending frontal slipadictomy to Shane Mumford in Round 27 saw this year's minor premiers stumble in qualifying. Without the big Mummy to shield them from harm GWS were paid back handsomely for last year's qualifying final by a 4th placed Swans who have left their best to last. Kurt Tippet monstered the Giants, who looked Lilliputian without their own Goliath, beating aside GWS for a 23 point win on the Giants' own turf.

The good news is, though a little fuzzy, I can just make out some headlines for 2018....

What's in a name ? : After a GF win in 2016 followed by an 8th place loss in a prelim in 2017, it was only the bump stop at the bottom of the ladder that stopped the Dogs sliding off altogether. Posting just one dismal win against the relocated Tassie Tigers reserves team, after their seniors were injured on the way to the game when the team bus was side swiped on the Tasman Bridge, the Dogs are now facing a relocation of their own. Said newly appointed AFL CEO Eddie McGuire, "It's high time that Darwin had a team and the NT Dingos will carry on the spirit of the dogs". Amid woofs of protest from fans he replied "Pug, Dingo, Bulldog, Chihuahua, Basenji. They're all kind of dogs aren't they ? I mean, they all sniff bums and drop sh!t everywhere" Dingos fans were partly comforted that Launceston's bid to rebrand the team as the Launceston Labradoodles failed.

Giants cut the apron strings : It was a celebration that might have been a Premiership win after GWS won back to back games for the first time since the retirement of Shane Mumford. GWS coach Dermot Brereton declared his hair the best ever for a centre half-forward before commenting. "After Shane retired is seemed natural to move Toby Greene to the ruck. Some said I was crazy" Asked for his comment, second ruck Rory Lobb asked to remain anonymous." I had 102 hitouts over those 2 games, 102 f&*king hitouts. Toby has one. Why does he get labelled first ruck ?. Dermie is crazy", he mumbled through the Batman mask we gave him. Dermie replied "I don't know who this second ruck is but I'm not crazy. Lobb may be OK in the ruck but Toby has better hair. Hair is more important than height in the modern game.

2018 is a big year for GWS, after falling short in the finals for two years running, but the signs are good. "It's only round four", said Greene, standing on a stool behind Lobb, "but clearly Dermie has a plan". The Giants sit 3:1 after a narrow loss to the top placed Carlton (women's team). "Since the move to Canberra the team has been rejuvenated" declared full-forward Nick Malceski. "Coming out of retirement has been great for me personally, though I was surprised to be taken with a first round pick. Clearly Dermie has a plan".
 
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Bokonon_

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I didn't want to break your heart but my crystal balls tell me ......

Giants left asking "Where's my Mummy ?" : A career-ending frontal slipadictomy to Shane Mumford in Round 27 saw this year's minor premiers stumble in qualifying. Without the big Mummy to shield them from harm GWS were paid back handsomely for last year's qualifying final by a 4th placed Swans who have left their best to last. Kurt Tippet monstered the Giants, who looked Lilliputian without their own Goliath, beating aside GWS for a 23 point win on the Giants' own turf.

The good news is, though a little fuzzy, I can just make out some headlines for 2018....

What's in a name ? : After a GF win in 2016 followed by an 8th place loss in a prelim in 2017, it was only the bump stop at the bottom of the ladder that stopped the Dogs sliding off altogether. Posting just one dismal win against the relocated Tassie Tigers reserves team, after their seniors were injured on the way to the game when the team bus was side swiped on the Tasman Bridge, the Dogs are now facing a relocation of their own. Said newly appointed AFL CEO Eddie McGuire, "It's high time that Darwin had a team and the NT Dingos will carry on the spirit of the dogs". Amid woofs of protest from fans he replied "Pug, Dingo, Bulldog, Chihuahua, Basenji. They're all kind of dogs aren't they ? I mean, they all sniff bums and drop sh!t everywhere" Dingos fans were partly comforted that Launceston's bid to rebrand the team as the Launceston Labradoodles failed.

Giants cut the apron strings : It was a celebration that might have been a Premiership win after GWS won back to back games for the first time since the retirement of Shane Mumford. GWS coach Dermot Brereton declared his hair the best ever for a centre half-forward before commenting. "After Shane retired is seemed natural to move Toby Greene to the ruck. Some said I was crazy" Asked for his comment, second ruck Rory Lobb asked to remain anonymous." I had 102 hitouts over those 2 games, 102 f&*king hitouts. Toby has one. Why does he get labelled first ruck ?. Dermie is crazy", he mumbled through the Batman mask we gave him. Dermie replied "I don't know who this second ruck is but I'm not crazy. Lobb may be OK in the ruck but Toby has better hair. Hair is more important than height in the modern game.

2018 is a big year for GWS, after falling short in the finals for two years running, but the signs are good. "It's only round four", said Greene, standing on a stool behind Lobb, "but clearly Dermie has a plan". The Giants sit 3:1 after a narrow loss to the top placed Carlton (women's team). "Since the move to Canberra the team has been rejuvenated" declared full-forward Nick Malceski. "Coming out of retirement has been great for me personally, though I was surprised to be taken with a first round pick. Clearly Dermie has a plan".
Ithat's injury trolling
 

00Stinger

Duel Group 1 winner
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Liverpool & San Francisco 49ers
The Buck Stops Here: Pies part way with Buckley after fan revolt
Spread Eagled: Star Eagles forward rushed to hospital with vegemite jar 'jammed' in rectum
Stone the Crows: Saudi Billionaire announced as new sponsor of Adelaide Crows
Battle of the Fridge: All Sydney Grand Final runs bottle shops dry in Harbour city
I'm assuming you can't count

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Janus

Dominus Ex Machina
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Dallas Cowboys, Chicago Bulls
Gray Pride - Robbie Gray wins Port Adelaide's inaugural Brownlow

The Fyfe of Lyon - Nat Fyfe resigns with Fremantle in a six year, $7m deal

Dustin and the Amazing Technicolor Turncoat - Dustin Martin signs with Hawthorn as a Free Agent
 

nanganator

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2. Bomber blitz - 9 straight
Hahahahaha, 9 straight what?
Losses?
Jabs?
9 straight weeks someone has a soft tissue injury?
Ooh, no I know - 9 straight months of Bombers fans tell us Aaron Francis is the next big thing despite spending most of the season in the VFL again?
 

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bungee

Yet another expert opnion
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I follow no other, only Swans
Ithat's injury trolling
2018's looking good for GWS though ! Swans have some unfinished business this year which they'll need to take care of before we can let you guys have a crack. Beside's we're still not happy over that QF win you had. Can't have little brother getting uppity
 

Bokonon_

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2018's looking good for GWS though ! Swans have some unfinished business this year which they'll need to take care of before we can let you guys have a crack. Beside's we're still not happy over that QF win you had. Can't have little brother getting uppity
Yeah maybe you caught me being a bit precious
 

Collingwood 4 eternity

Premiership Player
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1. RompingwinSen

After overthrowing Lyon , Watson , Scoop , Bob & the Godfather, Rompingwins leads Sen breakfast to become the highest rating radio program in Australia.

2. RompingwinStadium

Secret clause revealed in the contract that upon the AFL purchasing Etihad Stadium , it must be renamed after The brother of the CEO of the AFL of the day , for the next 10 seasons

3. RompingwinsBigFooty

Chief looses a lawsuit & control of BigFooty , to Rompingwins for failure to remove , the slanderous Rompingwins threads.
 

BattlerGM

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Essendon
Hahahahaha, 9 straight what?
Losses?
Jabs?
9 straight weeks someone has a soft tissue injury?
Ooh, no I know - 9 straight months of Bombers fans tell us Aaron Francis is the next big thing despite spending most of the season in the VFL again?


Jesus, Saints fans aren't still dirty on the Carlisle trade, are they? ;)
 
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Philadelphia 76'ers
1. Perfection denied, again! Scrappy dogs prevent a perfect GWS season with a round 21 Friday night victory, a la Essendon 2000.

2. Heave Ho, off to the finals we go! Fremantle storm back into the finals on the back of another Nat Fyfe stellar year, but will he stay?

3. Cat Napping. Geelongs inability to close out the league minnows sees them blow that Home final with consecutive losses to the Tigers and the Pies.
 

Proper Gander

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Mt Buller Demons
1. Eddie quits
Pies Board Acts. Buckley sacked.

2. Suns record low crowd
Less than 1000 at Port clash.

3. China wants in
Chinese entrepreneur wants to field new club
would the chinese govt settle for a relocation of North in Shanghai?
 

vicpride

Club Legend
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1. Eddies last Stand. Under siege magpies president lashes out at corrupt AFL system as pies plummet.

2. Cats chaos! Stadium remains unfinished as opening game shifted to etihad.

3. Dogs breakfast. The off field implosion of the young pups.

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threesixpio

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Hawthorn
1. (Pre-Season) Jaegar is wearing strapping nyar nyar Hawks he will never get on the field
2. (Season Proper) Jaegar is playing sure but he'll be injured soon or at least I bloody hope so anyways
3. (Season end) Bloody hate Jaegar and I bloody hate the Hawks - next year ay?
 
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