Never Married

[Shell]

It’s amazing the amount of people I know ( including myself at one point) who thinks that if they just met a great guy their life would magically change. Nope. You have to be happy first. You have to change your life to make it something that someone else wants to share.

I did meet that "great guy"- he was awesome and there was not one issue in the relationship.

But still just lost the attraction over time.

 

[Taylor]

I think there is a big difference between the excitement of a new relationship and the working bond of a longer term relationship.

If you've spent your time living in relationships that end when the excitement wears off then you'll need to talk to someone to readjust your expectations.

 

[Shell]

It had nothing to do with excitement wearing off.

And I dont need to talk to anyone, cheers

 

[TheGhostOfJohnBelushi]

I don't do this at all I always refer to people by their individual names e.g. Ben and Sarah. I don't know anyone who does the "Smiths" thing.

I do the combined name thing. Eg. Benrah.

What can I say, I'm part of the Brangelina generation.

 

[Run n Spread]

For me I’ve learned a lot of harsh lessons .

Tell me about it.

 

[Run n Spread]

It’s amazing the amount of people I know ( including myself at one point) who thinks that if they just met a great guy their life would magically change. Nope. You have to be happy first. You have to change your life to make it something that someone else wants to share.

True.

But what sort of change? I am all for change. But change for yourself or others?

As harsh as it sounds who cares what anyone wants? Be reasonable but it is your life. No point holding on or waiting for something that may never happen.

 

[perthblue]

Are there any guys who truly want to get married? Obviously you meet someone and you're probably for it but do you see it as something you'd be sad to miss out on?

For all the girls I know it's the defining moment of their life.

Yep I want to get married and can't help but feel I'd become a sour old man if I missed out on having a family of my own. Of course being single and undesirable, there are a few hurdles to overcome before I fulfill this dream,

 

[Shell]

Yep I want to get married and can't help but feel I'd become a sour old man if I missed out on having a family of my own. Of course being single and undesirable, there are a few hurdles to overcome before I fulfill this dream,

How old are you now pb?

/and yeah can see you as a dad. Would enjoy reading them your stories im sure.

 

[perthblue]

How old are you now pb?

/and yeah can see you as a dad. Would enjoy reading them your stories im sure.

Turning 28 in 3 months.

Yeah would be lovely

 

[Shell]

Turning 28 in 3 months.

Yeah would be lovely

Your perfect foot fetish queen is out there somewhere for u pb.

You're too funny and a good guy to not find someone. And you also dont have the ticking of the clock really to think about.

Good luck.

 

[perthblue]

Your perfect foot fetish queen is out there somewhere for u pb.

You're too funny and a good guy to not find someone. And you also dont have the ticking of the clock really to think about.

Good luck.

you're a sweetheart for this Shelly, thanks <3

 

[HARKER]

Marriage is better than ending up old and alone.

That's a terrible notion; Just get married because you're afraid to be alone.

I don't know how one could live with themselves under such false pretences.

 

[exe ex machina]

That's a terrible notion; Just get married because you're afraid to be alone.

I don't know how one could live with themselves under such false pretences.

We are not meant to be alone. It's a poison to the soul, heart, body, and mind.

 

[Shell]

You are likely to end up alone one day... you aint gonna die the same die ala Notebook style, are you really.

 

[perthblue]

That's a terrible notion; Just get married because you're afraid to be alone.

I don't know how one could live with themselves under such false pretences.

Human beings should fear being alone. It is fearful.

 

[William Wonka]

We are not meant to be alone. It's a poison to the soul, heart, body, and mind.

Human beings should fear being alone. It is fearful.

Man is a social animal, we need interaction with our peers and intimacy with our loved ones.

However long term relationships and children will make you appreciate alone time like nothing else on earth.
I love my missus and adore my kid but Im going to forget about work tomorrow and just sit in a restaurant by myself for a couple of hours, maybe go to the library or have a swim.
Bliss!

 

[exe ex machina]

Of course, having a balance is important. Having a family/kids in the end is a grind, and you long or enjoy time alone or away from them. But at least you have a balance. Being alone tho, especially as you get old, like 45+ say, your time is pretty much over, can't have kids, hard to find a wife/husband, and that's a miserable life....worse than having a family and longing for time alone -- because you do get time alone every now and then. Whereas being alone, you never get time having a family/kids.

 

[Perth gal]

True.

But what sort of change? I am all for change. But change for yourself or others?

As harsh as it sounds who cares what anyone wants? Be reasonable but it is your life. No point holding on or waiting for something that may never happen.

What I’m trying to say is that I have met/ know people of both sexes who are miserable gits who think that if they meet the love their lives they will magically transform into something they are not. What people need to do is find their own happiness and then people will be more attracted to you / more likely to want to date you.

If it never happens then you are still happy. That’s my point.

 

[rocker_oz33]

I don't think not getting married is not looked down on as it was say 5--10 years ago. I dont know l could be wrong.
People putting their focus on a house and children.

I just asked why an't you married my answer is, we are happy the way we are.

 

[Papa Juggs]

Weird thread, some people have some depressing views.

Just reading through I'm kinda reminded of the show "Master of None".

It's an old show now. Spoilers doesn't matter too much. Kinda like a daily life sitcom thing.

Well anyway at the end of season one (episode 9) after moving in with his (Dev/Aziz) girlfriend Rachel they do a whole montage of life living together day after day just laying around the house picking up the mess the leave behind, coming and going. Like the routine is somehow not quite right.

Then in the season finale they go to a wedding together and it all falls apart realising that neither of them wants to settle down in that way. She moves to Tokyo and he moves to Italy.

It's almost uncanny how this relates to this thread. I would recommend watching it. Even if Aziz was subject to certain allegations and now might be blacklisted viewing

I think people need to make up their own mind and circumstances are different for a lot of people.

 

[Scotland]

Great point. No one is going to want to be with you if you're a miserable campaigner.

You say that but then some people do end up with miserable campaigners so you have to scratch your head a bit. I know some couples where neither of them ever seem happy, so I guess that somehow makes them happy?

I think the whole 'the right one will come along when you're happy in yourself' is the sort of thing you'd read in a women's magazine that says that every woman is as beautiful as a VS angel. They might, but there's no guarantee of anything. They might never come along, or they might come along at a shit time, or you might cross paths with someone in a similar circumstance Brady Bunch stylz. If you are genuinely happy in yourself (rather than convincing yourself that you are as many do) then it shouldn't matter either way.

 

[revo333]

It’s amazing the amount of people I know ( including myself at one point) who thinks that if they just met a great guy their life would magically change. Nope. You have to be happy first. You have to change your life to make it something that someone else wants to share.

So true.

Know a few people who rushed into getting married because they thought time was running out.

It didn't make then happy.

 

[Shell]

You say that but then some people do end up with miserable campaigners so you have to scratch your head a bit. I know some couples where neither of them ever seem happy, so I guess that somehow makes them happy?
y.

Well that's their choice I suppose. Maybe they're just in a set routine and neither wishes to change anything (altho having said that no one can really make judgements re. other peoples relationships ((unless they tell you about it directly))- only the two ppl in it can really know whats going on imho) or leave each other.

 

[Scotland]

So true.

Know a few people who rushed into getting married because they thought time was running out.

It didn't make then happy.

The 30s power shift is real.

 

[Scotland]

Well that's their choice I suppose. Maybe they're just in a set routine and neither wishes to change anything (altho having said that no one can really make judgements re. other peoples relationships ((unless they tell you about it directly))- only the two ppl in it can really know whats going on imho) or leave each other.

Yeah you can only observe. When people never seem to appear outwardly happy you wonder if they are, for half a second then move on to thinking about something else. Some people I look at at think 'you're lucky to have him/her' and others you wonder what they see. Everyone looks for different things. I've got mates that are pretty much subservient and that works for them, I couldn't think of anything worse.