Never Married

[craigos]

Yeh my cousin was pretty heartbroken. It was due to timing she just did not want to be married end of.

He is happy now with another chick. Hes such a good bloke he deserves it.

Second wedding surely at the local RSL with a sausage sizzle.

 

[phantom13]

"Publicly commit to our relationship". This just sounds so weird to me, like the old days of the town crier where if you didn't shout it from the rooftops then you weren't serious. What about if you get married without friends and family present? Like eloping. Does that mean you're less committed to the relationship than if you have a wedding in front of 100 people?

Weddings (imo) usually end up being for the friends and family, for my wife and I it was about celebrating our relationship and the impact they had all had on us as individuals and as a couple. It meant a lot to us to do that. Again, doesn’t make us any more or less committed than other non married people.

 

[Shell]

Second wedding surely at the local RSL with a sausage sizzle.

I quietly asked him about marrying her when i saw him last week. He said its not high on their priorities. Theyve built a house together and thats good for now

 

[Shell]

Lol u are a funny campaigner craigos

 

[footyfan1978]

People in my family seem to get married or not at all. Not in between. Wants you married, that is it, no divorce.

 

[FRUMPY]

What if he said no i dont like you buzz off?

My mates brother-in-law asked the dad for his permission to marry his daughter (my mates sister). At this point he didn't have a job and was living off the daughter so the dad said no. The blokes still proposed and they got married 2 years later. My mates dad was sort of pleased that he still had the balls to get married. Been about 8 years now and they have 2 kids and he is a qualified mechanic.

 

[Eagle Boy]

I'm a 29 year old guy and I would like to get married. I've actually never been in a relationship with a girl and haven't had much luck in the dating world so I fear that it probably won't happen which is sad.

 

[Shell]

I'm a 29 year old guy and I would like to get married. I've actually never been in a relationship with a girl and haven't had much luck in the dating world so I fear that it probably won't happen which is sad.

Just dont give up.

Fwiw my first relationship was not until i was 28

 

[Scotland]

Weddings are indulgence, whether for the couple, the bride, family... whoever. Spending tens of thousands on a party is silly when you think about it, but almost everyone that does it doesn't regret it.

Being married while legally near identical to being in a de facto relationship isn't the same. You can uncouple a lot easier than you can unmarry even if the 'she'll take your house and money' thing can happen in either case. You also rarely see anyone in a LTR deciding to change their name to that of their partners, but it's still the norm more than the exception for married couples. People speak about married couples differently. If you get married you become the Smiths, or Jacksons or whoever. 'Should we invite the Jacksons?' 'Sure, what about (unmarried) Ben and Sarah?'. It's a completely minor point in the grand scheme of everything, though.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Weddings are indulgence, whether for the couple, the bride, family... whoever. Spending tens of thousands on a party is silly when you think about it, but almost everyone that does it doesn't regret it.

Being married while legally near identical to being in a de facto relationship isn't the same. You can uncouple a lot easier than you can unmarry even if the 'she'll take your house and money' thing can happen in either case. You also rarely see anyone in a LTR deciding to change their name to that of their partners, but it's still the norm more than the exception for married couples. People speak about married couples differently. If you get married you become the Smiths, or Jacksons or whoever. 'Should we invite the Jacksons?' 'Sure, what about (unmarried) Ben and Sarah?'. It's a completely minor point in the grand scheme of everything, though.

I don't do this at all I always refer to people by their individual names e.g. Ben and Sarah. I don't know anyone who does the "Smiths" thing.

 

[Run n Spread]

I'm a 29 year old guy and I would like to get married. I've actually never been in a relationship with a girl and haven't had much luck in the dating world so I fear that it probably won't happen which is sad.

Big Footy guide to getting the Non Gender Specific Person of your Desires. Up to Part 8.

But what difference does past experience matter anyway? Lets say you got out of a 10 year relationship or a series of disasters you are essentially still in the same position as any other unmarried 29yo.

 

[WCErevival]

I didnt get into a relationship until I was in my 30s and now I'm practically married at 34. You never really know what the future has in store.

 

[footyfan1978]

That's ****ed, but if you happy, guess it does not mater. ha ha

 

[craigos]

Weddings are indulgence, whether for the couple, the bride, family... whoever. Spending tens of thousands on a party is silly when you think about it, but almost everyone that does it doesn't regret it.

Being married while legally near identical to being in a de facto relationship isn't the same. You can uncouple a lot easier than you can unmarry even if the 'she'll take your house and money' thing can happen in either case. You also rarely see anyone in a LTR deciding to change their name to that of their partners, but it's still the norm more than the exception for married couples. People speak about married couples differently. If you get married you become the Smiths, or Jacksons or whoever. 'Should we invite the Jacksons?' 'Sure, what about (unmarried) Ben and Sarah?'. It's a completely minor point in the grand scheme of everything, though.

What hellish part of suburbia do you live in Scotland? I've only referred to one friends couple by a common name, and that's because the shortened combination of their last names is 'Gunt'.

 

[MWPP]

The fact that my regular posting style is somewhat less than fuzzy and adorable should make it all the easier to believe.

I initially wondered if someone had hacked your account . But I can see that you were genuine . Thank you

MWPP q. Howdo u actually cope with lonliness.

Its a feeling that comes and goes for me.. some days (very rarely) ill literally crawl into a ball and cry for idk half an hour or so.. is like a heavy weight on your chest you cant move.

But it goes away for a bit i suppose until it comes back again


Apologies if this is too dnm...

I wish I could give you a big hug because I really do hear you . I can relate to what you’re describing - but only in part .

To answer your question , it’s probably a combination of the following:
-I’m an only child so grew up used to being by myself rather than surrounded by many people .
-Parenthood matters even more to me than marriage (but at this point anyway , it isn’t to the extent where I would /go it alone as a single parent) so I actually feel that void even more than the void which comes with my relationship status . I work with kids so that fulfills me , but other times , I feel the pang.
-Most potential loneliness /relationship voids are filled /even prevented by those close to me , especially my best friend/ only guy I have ever truly loved (with whom I have a very complicated relationship . This arrangement helps with both physical and emotional needs (including alleviating loneliness ) but hinders any prospect of a proper future . My close friends and my family mean a lot to me /help me a lot too .
-When periods of loneliness set in (because ultimately people even the aforementioned people have their own lives) I immerse myself even further into individual things like work and hobbies . I’m going through one of those phases now
-When the things (work and hobbies) which normally help become a trigger or I have some other sort of setback, I hit a true low. I’m eventually able to pick myself up though. At times like this , it’s hard to see a future, but the short term things keep me going until I regain perspective and some hope.

 

[Deliverance]

Not at all, we already had a house and a joint account. There's no difference between us and a de facto couple.

I’ll soeak for both here.

On the “status” it makes no difference other than a box on census. People asked after the wedding “so how does it feel” or “what’s different” the answer is “the same” or “nothing”. Once upon a time getting married meant moving in together and a drastic change. Now it means you wear a ring. Our relationship didn’t change at all, it just meant something to me to share our relationship with our friends and family. In hindsight a wedding is weird traditional
Institution but it was a great excuse for a great party and to reflect on how the people outside our relationship have helped and influenced us a couple.

For me, it was her, I would have been slightly anti marriage as a younger man, she changed my mind.

Funny I felt the opposite. Getting a house and living together was just something that had to be done, a process. The kind of thing you could do it with anyone. Getting married was our serious commitment to each other. It's the moment we said we want each other forever with true intent.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

I'm 26 and quite content being single. Never been in a rship and can't say it's something that I need. It's a bit more difficult now as half my mates are now in relationships. Their Missos are pretty good for the most part but still not the same.

I find it strange how people think they need someone else to function. Everyone is different though. I've been to a couple of engagements, weddings lately and they seem genuinely in love committed and I wish all the best. However I think to be one of those couples you have to meet at a younger age so your lives are in sync. Couples that meet after early/mid twenties, each person has their own separate life and I think it can be harder to merge them so to speak

Been on tinder for a few years and Bumble at times (although don't never nearly as many matches on there). Now that I live by myself, it's not hard to invite chicks over when you've got n itch to scratch and I'd lie if I said it wasn't a bit empty but at the same time I couldn't imagine having sex with one person for the rest of my life. Not just in terms of sex but I get sick of people very easily

I find a lot of people who get to late twenties/early 30's are just subconsciously aware their looks are fading and want to cling onto to someone half decent before their value in this regard diminishes. Especially chicks as they have to have kids before 35 odd before it becomes very difficult

It's not that I wouldn't be open to it if the right girl came along though. Definitely don't believe in the one or anything silly like that though

 

[Catfish Alley]

Not at all, we already had a house and a joint account. There's no difference between us and a de facto couple.

I see it a little differently. No real difference on paper but it can mean a lot to the couple. Personally I wouldn’t have bothered getting married if it didn’t mean anything to us. Relationships vary though. I definitely know de facto couples that function better than some marriages.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

I see it a little differently. No real difference on paper but it can mean a lot to the couple. Personally I wouldn’t have bothered getting married if it didn’t mean anything to us. Relationships vary though. I definitely know de facto couples that function better than some marriages.

For us, we got married because HBF wanted our future children to have married parents, and kids were a non negotiable for me.

 

[Shell]

I initially wondered if someone had hacked your account . But I can see that you were genuine . Thank you


I wish I could give you a big hug because I really do hear you . I can relate to what you’re describing - but only in part .

To answer your question , it’s probably a combination of the following:
-I’m an only child so grew up used to being by myself rather than surrounded by many people .
-Parenthood matters even more to me than marriage (but at this point anyway , it isn’t to the extent where I would /go it alone as a single parent) so I actually feel that void even more than the void which comes with my relationship status . I work with kids so that fulfills me , but other times , I feel the pang.
-Most potential loneliness /relationship voids are filled /even prevented by those close to me , especially my best friend/ only guy I have ever truly loved (with whom I have a very complicated relationship . This arrangement helps with both physical and emotional needs (including alleviating loneliness ) but hinders any prospect of a proper future . My close friends and my family mean a lot to me /help me a lot too .
-When periods of loneliness set in (because ultimately people even the aforementioned people have their own lives) I immerse myself even further into individual things like work and hobbies . I’m going through one of those phases now
-When the things (work and hobbies) which normally help become a trigger or I have some other sort of setback, I hit a true low. I’m eventually able to pick myself up though. At times like this , it’s hard to see a future, but the short term things keep me going until I regain perspective and some hope.

Just to clarify- im not crying over "waaa I dont have a bf"- its kind of other stuff too, like the rift thats pretty much divided my family in half (over money what else)- and just other shit. It's getting better tho, I guess.

I work with kids too. I love it and i think that definitely helps that I will 99% most likely never have them myself.

 

[Perth gal]

For me I’ve learned a lot of harsh lessons . I used to be quite negative and feel sorry for myself a lot due to certain circumstances.

Now I’ve realised that a partner comes along when you least expect it and usually when you are just happy living your life. It’s taken me a long time to realise what really makes me happy and I’ve just decided I will live my life and if someone comes along then great but if not than that’s ok too.

I get lonely sometimes too, usually when I’m bored or haven’t got a lot on. I have a child though which I’m very grateful for.

 

[Shell]

For me I’ve learned a lot of harsh lessons . I used to be quite negative and feel sorry for myself a lot due to certain circumstances.

Now I’ve realised that a partner comes along when you least expect it and usually when you are just happy living your life. It’s taken me a long time to realise what really makes me happy and I’ve just decided I will live my life and if someone comes along then great but if not than that’s ok too.

I get lonely sometimes too, usually when I’m bored or haven’t got a lot on. I have a child though which I’m very grateful for.

Great point. No one is going to want to be with you if you're a miserable campaigner.

 

[Perth gal]

Great point. No one is going to want to be with you if you're a miserable campaigner.

It’s amazing the amount of people I know ( including myself at one point) who thinks that if they just met a great guy their life would magically change. Nope. You have to be happy first. You have to change your life to make it something that someone else wants to share.

 

[Taylor]

I'm a 29 year old guy and I would like to get married. I've actually never been in a relationship with a girl and haven't had much luck in the dating world so I fear that it probably won't happen which is sad.

Therapy can be really beneficial if you've spent a lot of time tightening yourself up in coping mechanisms to the point where you have a distorted view of either yourself, the world around you or both.

 

[Perth gal]

Therapy can be really beneficial if you've spent a lot of time tightening yourself up in coping mechanisms to the point where you have a distorted view of either yourself, the world around you or both.

This was me.