Rumour New Years Eve Sightings and Scandals

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Oct 6, 2018
18
24
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Recruit to Melbourne based club who was under an injury cloud when recruited. The promise is the fitness staff of his new club will achieve what his previous club couldn't (well known for rehabilitating crock players). HOwever, it's not a chronic injury keeping off the paddock. The real reason? CFS. Not chronic fatigue syndrome, but chronic flatulence syndrome. This player has been farting so much no team mate wants to go near him. He's been banned from the training rooms and restricted to solo duties. He can't come within 20 m of other players (30m if he is upwind). Rehabilitation is going slowly, with gradual phasing out of protein and coffee. There has been some setbacks; last week he sharted, just when things were looking promising. 2019 is doubtful, the best the club is hoping for is 2020. maybe some time away from the club, getting some clear air will help.
 

Proper Gander

Owl whisperer and secret agent
Feb 15, 2015
16,522
27,204
Port Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Mt Buller Demons
Recruit to Melbourne based club who was under an injury cloud when recruited. The promise is the fitness staff of his new club will achieve what his previous club couldn't (well known for rehabilitating crock players). HOwever, it's not a chronic injury keeping off the paddock. The real reason? CFS. Not chronic fatigue syndrome, but chronic flatulence syndrome. This player has been farting so much no team mate wants to go near him. He's been banned from the training rooms and restricted to solo duties. He can't come within 20 m of other players (30m if he is upwind). Rehabilitation is going slowly, with gradual phasing out of protein and coffee. There has been some setbacks; last week he sharted, just when things were looking promising. 2019 is doubtful, the best the club is hoping for is 2020. maybe some time away from the club, getting some clear air will help.
This is clearly shit that I don’t believe at all.

But I do want to believe that it’s Scully :)
 

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gcsunsfc

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 24, 2012
7,331
7,561
AFL Club
Gold Coast
Other Teams
Milwaukee Bucks
Recruit to Melbourne based club who was under an injury cloud when recruited. The promise is the fitness staff of his new club will achieve what his previous club couldn't (well known for rehabilitating crock players). HOwever, it's not a chronic injury keeping off the paddock. The real reason? CFS. Not chronic fatigue syndrome, but chronic flatulence syndrome. This player has been farting so much no team mate wants to go near him. He's been banned from the training rooms and restricted to solo duties. He can't come within 20 m of other players (30m if he is upwind). Rehabilitation is going slowly, with gradual phasing out of protein and coffee. There has been some setbacks; last week he sharted, just when things were looking promising. 2019 is doubtful, the best the club is hoping for is 2020. maybe some time away from the club, getting some clear air will help.
Identity confirmed

https://www.goldcoastbulletin.com.au/sport/afl/kade-kolodjashnij-to-have-surgery-to-discover-cause-of-mystery-condition/news-story/283c07ae43a7a16c1f86d232627e74e8

https://www.qt.com.au/news/suns-star-rediscovers-his-appetite-to-succeed/3182109/
 

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