As dyertribe the plastic geordie, I'll answer the question and remedy our problems in 5 easy steps:
1. Get rid of Dyer, Bellamy and Robert for as much lucre as possible.
Dyer: Over-rated hack. Can't score. Can't pass. Can run loads though - that'll win us some silverware for the first time since that Armstrong geezer kicked the moon!
Bellamy: Perennial crock with too many off-field distractions to boot. We should've flogged him to United when we had the chance, same as Kieron.
Robert: Piece of sh|t plain and simple. Typical arrogant Gallic **** who's only in it for himself. Final straw was when the prick TOOK HIS BOOTS OFF before the penalty shootout with Partizan at SJP.
9.5 million squid and one of the best left feet in the business and he bottles out of the moment completely.
2. For christ's sake buy a holding midfielder worth a damn.
Man United have Keane, Butt, Djemba Djemba and Kleberson
Arsenal have Vieira and Gilberto
Liverpool have Hamann and Gerrard
Chelsea have Makelele and Petit
Newcastle United have Speed and Acuna. See a problem in continuity here?
People p|ss on us for having a leaky defence - wonder why?!! Who the hell is protecting the back 4 and choking off the opposition's midfield flow? An old Welshman and hot feet Kieron.
Oh hooray. **** me!
3. Buy a REAL centrehalf to stand alongside Woody
O'Brien, Bramble and Stevie Caldwell aren't good enough. Simple.
4. Buy some fullbacks
Hughes is a utility who hasn't gone on with it after being rated as one of the best rightbacks in the league.
Griff is an honest goer nothing more.
Bernard's best is world class - we see it maybe 5 times a season - the rest of the time he's mediocre and error-prone.
5. Stop alienating those who might help us, Bobby!
Lua Lua is an excitement machine who should be playing instead of rotting in the reserves all because he legged it to the Congo to see his dying grandma 12 months ago. He's got more talent and technical ability than almost anyone else in the squad and will probably leave on a Bosman or hand in a transfer request ASAP.
Ah well... there's always Shola right?
Nikos Dabizas was our most experienced centrehalf and our best after Woody... should we try to forge a partnership between the classy young Englishman and the solid Greek? **** no! Let's freeze Nikos out and slap Woody alongside Crapster Bramble or Crapster O'Brien.
Good one Bobby!
If anyone here disagrees with any of the above - you are wrong.